Am I being a phony or just trying to survive? (PG mentioned)

M&MBride0506 · December 2010

My BFF had her baby over a month ago and at first I tried my very best to be supportive and talk to her when she needs it. She's very emotional and in the beginning she was having difficulties coping with everything. She was having serious problems BFing and everything. I haven't spoken to her in awhile (she lives in michgian and I live in NY) until today. I spoke to her today and she was telling me all about her baby and I was just trying to get off the phone before I started crying. And I think now there might be another long gap before I talk to her. Am I being phony when I talk to her and sound like I want to hear ALL about everything this child does when it's just making me want to cry? She knows about our struggles and everything but it's so funny that as soon as she asks me something about our journey before I could finish telling her, she's regaling on something else that the baby did.

Thanks for letting me vent.

Bella2u07 · December 2010

I don't think your being phony. It's a tough situation to deal with. You want to be there for her, be her friend, but her words are hurting you..so it's like your own personal hell.

I know she probably doesn't understand your IF if she never experienced it for herself, is there anyway you can talk to her about your feelings? or do you think that will not change anything?

Maybe some time away, especially for your mental and emotional well being is what you need.

I wish you the best! (((hugs)))

M&MBride0506 · December 2010

Thank you so much. Sometimes I feel so alone. I don't think talking to her is going to be any good because I think she will think that I am not happy for her which isn't the truth. I am happy for her just sad for myself. I know that when it's my turn I will be talking of nothing but our baby, the only difference is that I'm the only one left that doesn't have a child. It's so lonely when that's the reality. In my world, the girls on this board are really the only ones that understand. Sometimes I feel like a slug. A broken down slug. but I'm trying not to go into 2011 with this attiude...

Thank you so much.

M&MBride0506 · December 2010

Sorry for the double posts...My computer is going haywire...LOL

Faith722 · December 2010

It's such a difficult situation. I can totally relate since one of my bff's had her first baby in Nov. The baby was born the day before our ER. At first, I thought it would be okay b/c we were cycling, but once that cycle went bust anything baby-related stung more than ever. I've never been so happy that she'd moved away and I didn't have to see the baby until Christmas Eve. I got thru it -- I faked it just like you. But it sucked.

It's so hard b/c I know you're really happy for your friend, as am I, but you can't change your circumstances. I haven't figured out how to only feel happy for my friend without letting IF work its way in there, too.

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Am I being a phony or just trying to survive? (PG mentioned)

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