Feeling Self-Conscious (vent-long)

prncsstp · December 2010

This is mostly a vent, but I thought Id share my story:

Alot of people have talked about weight recently, and I thought Id add my topic as well:

Backstory: My mom is super skinny and so is my sister (as in both under 5'3 and about 100 lbs each). I used to be the same way: super skinny until college - then I weighed about a healthy 135lbs. I know my mom and sis and I have diff body types... they are petite and slender and I have a more athletic build -plus huge boobs and butt - which they do not have

Nowadays, I am mildly overweight: Pre-Pregnancy - I am 5'3 and between 150 and 155 lbs (about a size 10 in everyday clothing). My highest weight ever was 165-ish and my recent lowest weight was about 143lbs - right before my wedding...

Pre-pregnancy I have not been happy about my weight and feel incredibly self-conscious about my body as it is.

I am ecstatic about this pregnancy. But I am terrified of the weight gain. Currently, i have stayed within one lb or so of my prepregancy weight, and I havent changed eating habits at all... i eat pretty healthy - and enjoy some treats/fast food on occasion, but im not as active as I should be...

Im starting to get my baby belly, and I felt super gross in my regular clothes... i do feel a little bit better wearing maternity clothes though... it accentuates a baby belly, vs my stomach hanging out of regular jeans.. so i feel more "pregnant" instead of fat, if that makes sense

But anyways, the idea of putting on 25-30 total lbs by the end of pregnancy scares the crap out of me. Im terrified ill never lose it, and that ill be super overweight forever.

Im planning on BF'ing - so I know that will help, and Im not planning on overindulging in food during the pregnancy to completely up the weight... but does anyone else have these same fears?

11kacey · December 2010

I was always in good shape.. until after college and I began to gain weight. Before my wedding I lost 20 pounds, but right after the wedding, I gained about five pounds VERY QUICKLY.. by the time I got to my doc's office for my first weigh in I was even five pounds heavier! ( I swear it was water weight.. but whatever). I am 5'4, wear a size 10, and when the doc looks at me, she says 'gain 25 pounds'. But, when she took my BMI she said "oh yeah, you'll need to stay closer to 20, maybe 15".

I did not gain weight the first trimester (after my initial weigh in) in fact it looks like I lost weight (mainly b/c i did not drink 72 ounces of water 30 minutes before my appointment like i did the first time).. I was happy. It is kind of disturbing b/c I took joy that I was not gaining weight.

Now, in the 2nd tri, I am gaining some weight... out of nowhere I gained 2 pounds... I am still less on the scale than I was at the 1st doc appointment but the gain is starting to scare me. I worked so hard to drop the 20 pounds it is really hard to look at my body and know that I am just going to get fatter and heavier. I know I need to gain some weight. I know I need to think about the baby, but it is really hard because I just feel like I am never going to look like I did when I was in college. Also, I just do not like food anymore... well, I like taco meat and queso and that surely is not healthy for the baby...

Turtle143 · December 2010

I think I go back and forth feeling fine and feeling kinda scared about wt gain. Pre-pregnancy I was underweight, always have been just skinny, now I'm at a good weight for my height and it still scares me sometimes though the recommended wt gain for me is a little more than those starting at regular weight.
Anyway, my point is whether your pre-PG wt is low or normal or high, I think it's normal for someone to feel a little worried about being able to go back to prepregnancy wt.

I think as long as you're keeping healthy eating habits, and maybe some physical activity you should just relax a little bit. Easier said than done. I don't know if that helps. I at least want you to know I've had those feelings too.

sunset*skies · December 2010

I'm a little bit bigger than you - 5'2" and 180 pre-preg, and my doctor advised if you're already 20lbs or more overweight, 15 -20lbs of weight gain is healthy.

I know I'm probably going to go over 200lbs, and I have NEVER been that big in my entire life, but that number, to me, feels like it's huge. Like when a woman goes from age 39 to 40, I guess.

I've actually LOST about 4lbs overall.

CarlaAndJames · December 2010

Remember that if you gain 25-30 lbs, that's not ALL weight you have to lose after the baby is born. The baby, fluid, placenta, breast tissue, and your uterus all are part of that. Once that stuff goes back to normal, you won't be looking at an extra 30 lbs of weight, it will be much less.

I am 5'5 and was 175 lbs 2 months before I got pregnant. I was doing weight watchers for the first time right before I got pregnant and got down to 160. In the first trimester I got down to 156, and now I'm sitting at 158. I struggle a little knowing I'll be undoing everything I did on WW, but I know that it works for me and I can go back to it after the baby is born.

A healthy baby will be so worth it, even if you do have to work a little to get off the few leftover lbs.

mshaffer85 · December 2010

I felt like this with my first pregnancy. I was getting so self concious about my jeans not buttoning and my shirts getting tight. My husband tried to tell me how beautiful I was- especially since I was carrying his child, but all I could think about was how fat I felt! I tried to explain it to him- you go through your entire life doing everything you can to stay not gain weight, and then all of a sudden you are supposed to be okay with an extra 30 pounds. It's hard to get used to! But after I had him I was breastfeeding and lost most of the baby weight in the first couple of weeks! It just falls off of you. Don't be too worried about it- worry more about the baby getting enough and eating the right things. You'll be suprised how quickly the weight will come off after you have the baby.

luckyluvr · December 2010

Try not to stress. You really can't control how much you'll gain. There are women who workout regularly, eat right, and still gain 50+ lbs. It comes off pretty fast as long as you're dedicated to it. I've gained 65lbs. with each pregnancy (this is my 3rd). I'm 5'1", so I definitely look like a stumpy troll. I've managed to lose it all within 4-5 months pp due to Weight Watchers and daily workouts. It sucks, but the 25lb. recommendation is a joke for most people. At my 16 week appt. I was already up 16lbs., so if that keeps up, I'll be thrilled to only gain 40lbs. Try not to worry about it.

Sazhrah · December 2010

it is so hard to not worry about the weight gain and how you might lose it afterwards. With my first 3 pregnancies i gained about 60 lbs each one and lost it in about 5 - 8 months after they were born. my last one i gained 30 and could not lose the last 10 lbs. I am very active and I breastfed. Sometimes it just happens. I have a very hard time with the possibility of weight gain this time and how fast I will be as I was because of my profession. What does help me calm myself is knowing that 6-8lbs will be baby, 2 lbs placenta, 3-5 lbs of extra fluids in your body (blood, amniotic fluid, water retention), and 5 lbs of misc stuff.

Try not to be hard on yourself.

Turtle143 · December 2010

luckyluvr:
Try not to stress. You really can't control how much you'll gain. There are women who workout regularly, eat right, and still gain 50+ lbs. It comes off pretty fast as long as you're dedicated to it. I've gained 65lbs. with each pregnancy (this is my 3rd). I'm 5'1", so I definitely look like a stumpy troll. I've managed to lose it all within 4-5 months pp due to Weight Watchers and daily workouts. It sucks, but the 25lb. recommendation is a joke for most people. At my 16 week appt. I was already up 16lbs., so if that keeps up, I'll be thrilled to only gain 40lbs. Try not to worry about it.

Sorry but the maternity nurse inside me is screaming to say this is false. You CAN control how much you'll gain by watching what you eat and physical activity.

ElleB* · December 2010

I feel like this! I actually gained a bunch after breaking two vertebrae (it kinda puts a crimp in the whole vigorous exercise thing) and haven't been able to lose it. I'm trying to avoid the scale and remind myself that the baby needs it.

mesr · December 2010

mshaffer85:
It just falls off of you. Don't be too worried about it- worry more about the baby getting enough and eating the right things. You'll be surprised how quickly the weight will come off after you have the baby.

this. it really does come off effortlessly. at this point, the only thing you can do is marvel at your body's ability to make a new life and celebrate the changes you go through.

prncsstp · December 2010

Ladies - thanks for the support and the confirmation that im not crazy with my self conscious thoughts!

Im sure we'll definitely be turning to one another after the LOs are born too!

bunnyc1246 · December 2010

Oh my gosh, i feel exactly the same as you! Before I was pregnant I was 5'3" about 150 pounds, and I wasnt super happy about my body, but It wasnt terrible ya know. Well since the pregnancy ive already gained like 10 pounds or so, and I just feel like a tub of lard! Most people tell me I dont look pregnant or look any different...and im like jeeez have i always been huge? It didnt help that my mom just got a tummy tuck and is wearing my old size 6's and rubbing it in my face that she is "finally smaller than me" ugggg Im terrified of gaining weight and not losing it as well. I will be getting married within a year of having the baby and what if im a fat bride!!! thats what i always think about! I think its hard for me to see my body getting bigger and seeing my moms getting smaller and also my "bump" isnt quite there,it looks more like a gut from eating too many donuts. lol you are def not in this boat alone, i have these same fears all the time!

Ambeerose · December 2010

I felt this way in my last pregnancy too. I am 5'9" and was then 172lbs so I was scared of going above 200. Well I went over 200 and I went under 200 before I left the hospital because with the baby and the extra stuff I lost about 10lbs after delivery. I didn't look great but the number wasn't as huge. Just remember that they are only numbers and if you don't over do it (as best that you can) then you won't gain unnecessary weight. I do have sweets here and there and don't eat perfect but I'm trying not to splurge on things I really don't need. You can lose the weight after baby is born if you put effort into it and like pp say, breastfeeding helps too. Just take care of yourself and try your best not to think about the weight!! I've heard of people not looking at the scale when they are weighed at the dr (if you can resist!)

Syncronicity09 · December 2010

I would love to weigh as little as you do!

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