MIL and SIL don't get along at the best of times.
SIL's 3.5 year old daughter, AR, is possibly the most spoiled child I've ever met (for reals).
FIL has a habit of disappearing to tinker in his shed whenever he gets bored or the atmosphere becomes a little tense (which is fairly often during the holidays due to the MIL : SIL issue).
But even knowing all of that, Christmas was...frustrating.
We knew it was going to be a big day for Will and Dash. They're too young to understand what's going on (although I was really surprised by how much they got into the unwrapping - I didn't expect that at this stage), but what with all the excitement in the air, new toys, etc. we knew they'd get pretty overstimulated. So we told MIL several times leading up to that day that we be able to come to her Christmas lunch, but only for a limited time: 10.30am-1pm only. We didn't mind feeding the boys at the ILs but didn't want to have to struggle with their 1pm nap there when we knew they'd be so exhausted and fussy.
The morning was awesome - Ben and I got to show the boys how to unwrap their gifts, and it was a ton of fun (except that 3 of their gifts were apparently out of stock but the site I bought them from didn't bother to notify me or mark them as such on their website, so we were short all of their major gifts).
10.30am, we roll up at the ILs. Alcoholic SIL is loudly mulling over whether it's too early for a drink (yes I know it's Christmas, but she's from another state and it's basically 8.30am to her). FIL is nowhere to be seen. AR is running around screaming like a banshee and loudly demanding a variety of desserts. MIL is annoyed at everyone.
Gift time. AR unwraps several of Will and Dash's gifts, sitting 4 feet away, tearing off the wrapping paper and then flinging the objects toward me (I was sitting with the boys). SIL coos over how "helpful" her daughter is and gives me the stink eye when I suggest that perhaps AR should only unwrap her own gifts.
12pm. We feed the boys - a little hard because of the ruckus, but we get the job done.
12.30pm rolls around. Will and Dash are starting to get pretty fussy and exhausted. MIL states that lunch is "pretty far behind" and can't we just put the boys down for their nap there? (She does watch them once a week, but the bedrooms etc have all been rearranged with SIL there so it's unfamiliar to the boys.) I want to go home, but catch Ben's eye and can see that even though he's unhappy, he wants to give it a shot.
1pm-2.30pm. We sit in darkened rooms for an hour and a half, holding screaming babies and desperately trying to get overtired and overstimulated kids to sleep in an unfamiliar environment. Lunch is ready about an hour into this period, and everyone gets sh!tty that Ben and I aren't ready. MIL wants to know why the boys "just won't go to sleep." Because they're BABIES, OK?
2.45pm. Boys still won't sleep, more interruptions from the ILs wanting to know "are you ready yet?" and I'm three seconds from exploding when I turn to Ben to say something b!tchy and before I can open my mouth he says miserably, "Why does everything we do with my family always turn out so sh!tty?" I shut my mouth and give him a sympathetic look. It's got to be rough having the "bad" family.
3pm. We scarf down the delayed lunch. I firmly announce that we have to leave so we can be home for Will and Dash's 4pm feeding since we didn't pack enough formula for two meals. SIL asks why we can't just give them milk mixed with water in their bottles. First - WTF? Second, her LO was formula fed after a couple months. Was she seriously giving her watered down milk??? (As a side note, her daughter is 3.5 and still drinking most fluids from bottles. I know it takes some kids longer than others, but I gave a side eye.)
4pm. We arrive home and spend the rest of the evening feeding and soothing exhausted boys. That night we break our rule of "only one of us drinks" and both suck down some booze. We needed it.
Re: ahhh, Christmas with the ILs (very long and mildly dramatic)
I have NO idea where AR got the idea about opening their presents. It's not like she wanted what was in them? At least she didn't do it with all of them, but it still annoyed me.
I think SIL was serious (not drunk serious, but serious serious) about the watered down milk thing. She also mentioned that when AR was under a year old she'd mix formula, milk and water instead of just giving her formula, which I don't really get.
I'd really like to do it like you suggested, but it would be the start of WWIII if we ever suggested to MIL that we have a solo Christmas. They live a couple of blocks away so we can't use distance as an excuse and we'd never hear the end of it if we said we'd like to have a "just us" celebration. We were tossing around the idea of going to the USA for Christmas next year, but honestly I just don't think we'll be able to swing it financially (not to mention that a plane ride that long with 1.5 year olds...eek!).
oh geeez!! What a nightmare!
I think I would have left after a half hour of screaming. You live so close, they can bring YOU the food later!
I hope the rest of this week is a little more relaxing!
Good grief! I'm exhausted reading this!
Thank goodness for booze in these types of situations
| Olowalu, Maui ~ August 6, 2008 |
| Family of 4 ~ April 2, 2011 |
| Family of 5 - October 24, 2012 |
this! and I felt bad for Ben when he made his comment too
+1 to a vacation every other year...
Thanks ladies - I was SO frustrated by the time we left, and Ben wasn't thrilled either.
Yeah, I felt really, really bad for him then. I definitely need to think about him as well and not just me and the boys in these kinds of situations - I'm so glad I didn't make a b!tchy comment because it would have just rubbed salt in the wound.
I love Hawaii!
Tara & Ian . 4/24/2008 . The Kahala Planning . Married
Holidays and birthdays are difficult. Too many people usually in the babies face and it causes drama in itself. Add on top of that your crazy ILs and it's a recipe for disaster. Poor Ben really, they are related to him and it sucks that he realizes what a PITA they can be. We stayed home this year and last year we got grief for not going a bunch of places. This year no one said a word. It was nice but it didn't totally feel like Christmas, we're going to have to create something "christmasy" at our house that doesn't include traveling all over town and dealing with drama.
Your SIL sounds like a hot mess to me. Good luck with that situation, maybe you should have started drinking earlier in the day to deal with it all!!