TTC After a Loss

Do you tell DH when it's FWP time?

I'm interested to hear what everyone else on here does.  I was talking to my friend the other night who already has 2 kids, and she said not to tell MH when I'm ovulating because that takes the fun out of it and makes it more stressful and planned.  Yes, this is true, but I tell MH everything, and I cannot imagine not telling him when I'm O-ing. (It's just so exciting to see that smiley that I don't think I could hold that in!)  Plus, I'm sure he would know anyways if I'm trying to jump his bones 4-5 nights in a row! 

Do you tell him or no??  

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M/C #1 2001 (6w1d); M/C #2: 10/02/10 (4w4d); M/C #3 05/26/11 (4w3d) Clomid BFP #4 7/18/11 @ 9DPO Please baby stick! Beta #1 (11DPO)=51; Beta #2 (13DPO)=170; Beta #3 (19DPO)=2659!! EDD: 03/31/12

Re: Do you tell DH when it's FWP time?

  • I tell him.  I don't tell him 'hey I'm Oing today'. I just tell him.  This week is FWP time---something like that, so that he is prepared to FWP for the next 7-10 days....not every day though. 

    BFP#1: 7/14/10.  EDD: 3/19/11--MMC-- D&C 9/2/10.
    BFP#2: 12:22/10.EDD: 8/30/11 C/P 12/25/10
    BFP#3: 10/26/11 EDD: 7/2/12-- Daniel born 7/14/12. My rainbow baby!                                                                                                                                           BFP #4:  2.22/15 EDD: 11/4/15 C/P 2/28/15                                                                                                                                                                                      BFP #5:  4/5/15   EDD 12/11/15 (Ectopic Pregnancy)

    BFP #6: 3/2/16 EDD 11/5/16
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  • Last cycle I didn't tell my H and he ended up asking me.  We had a chat about it and he said that he wants to feel like a part of the whole process and wants to know.  I did tell him this morning to gear up because I was dropping an egg today.  Stick out tongue
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  • I don't tell him the particular day I think I will O, but I let him know its going to be "baby making time" (that is what he calls it) for the next few days.  Like you said if I didn't he would wondering who I was and what I did with his wife if I was trying to get busy for several nights in a row!

    TTC since 5/2010
    DX with Diminished Ovarian Reserve - AMH of 1.1 - 7/2011; AMH of .42 8/2012
    BFP 9/1/10-M/C confirmed 9/8/10-Methotrexate 10/6/10
    IUI #1 (w/clomid)-9/5/11-BFN ; IUI #2 (w/clomid)-10/5/11 - BFP - 11/1/12-No sac seen; 11/2/11 and 11/9/11-Methotrexate 
    IVF #1- ER 2/2; ET 2/5;-Two 8 cell embryos transfered = BFFN
    Surprise BFP - 5/7/12
    U/S on 6/8/12 - H/B at 128 BPM; U/S on 6/14/12 @ 9wks-No H/B-D&C on 6/17/12
    IVF 2.0- ER 10/17; ET 10/20-One 12 cell, one 10 cell and one 8 cell embryo transfered
    BFP!   11/16/12 U/S- Two nuggets with perfect heartbeats! EDD 7/10/13

     

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  • I tell him, only because he asks. Even if he wouldn't ask and I wouldn't tell him, he would figure it out from me initiating so much sex in one week.

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  • It depends on the month but I usually just tell him its go time, however its backfired on me a couple times b/c he gets all stressed out and then can't perform. Guess it depends on how well he can handle the pressure. :)
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  • I don't tell DH because he doesn't want to know...not because he doesn't care, but he gets really nervous and he can't perform and then he feels really badly. So, we agreed I'd just not tell him. We have sex pretty regularly anyway, so it isn't like it's horribly obvious to him. 
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  • No, I don't tell him.  When he knew he started having performance issues, so now we just go for EOD the entire month.  It's much easier for him not to know.
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    SHG & SA normal. PCOS Research study started 5/10.
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    Clomid/Femara cycle #2 - 7/10 = BFP #1 - Missed miscarriage 9/2/10
    11/12 - BFP #2 - 11/22 - m/c
    5/1/11 - BFP #3 - Pre-eclampsia, IUGR & bed rest from 32w. DD born via induction 1/4/12.
  • I straight up tell DH. Mostly because we don't have a super active sex life outside of TTC (which we are both fine with) and makes it easier if he knows.
  • I never told him, but he could tell. For some reason, I didn't really initiate sex unless it was FWP time Stick out tongue
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    m/c 12/25/09 (5w5d) mm/c D&C 4/9/10 (11w1d) Take home baby 2/22/11
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  • I tell my husband that it is time to make "sexy time."  FWP would mean nothing to him.  I do have pee sticks laying everywhere, so I am sure he would know that I am ovulating anyways.  I don't tell him that I am ovulating unless he asks me. 
  • Yes and no.  Sometimes I'll let him know and sometimes I'll drop subtle hints.

    5/16/2005: M/C at 7 wks
    5/3/2010: MM/C at 7 wks 6 days
    5/25/2014: CP at 4 wks 3 days

    Because of the great "Snow"vember of 2015, my medicated cycle was cancelled.  However, we were blessed with our little rainbow baby due on 8/14/15!  Baby J had other plans and decided to make his grand ole entrance on 7/4/2015!

    Surprise!  Our little girl entered this world on 12/8/2016 after her eviction notice was long past due.  Our little turkey baby turned into a snow baby!  

                                                        
    Third times the charm!  BFP on 4/18/2019, EDD: 12/18/2019
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  • imageginamcp:
    Last cycle I didn't tell my H and he ended up asking me.  We had a chat about it and he said that he wants to feel like a part of the whole process and wants to know.  I did tell him this morning to gear up because I was dropping an egg todayStick out tongue

    lol This is exactly what I tell my DH! He doesn't mind knowing because it doesn't really stress him out or anything. He likes all the FWP. What I do have an issue with lately is the planned out part of it. So I'm thinking next month when we're back to TTC, I'll just seduce him and try to keep my mouth shut!

    Natural MCs 2/4/09, 8/22/09 & 4/7/10
    Dx with Antiphospholipid Antibody Syndrome (APS)
    BFP #4 5/14/12
    5/17/12...1st Betas- 176, P4 3.6
    5/22/12...2nd Betas- 207, P4 6.1 (MC confirmed)
  • DH wants to be very involved so he even looks at the OPK line tests leading up to O day.  During my last cycle he even said I think we should BD tomorrow morning just to be sure... to bad AF showed up 2 weeks later.

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  • I'm just like you! I tried not telling him once and he figured it out when I wanted to BD so much.
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  • I didn't tell him before the mc... I didn't really know for certain until the last pregnancy anyway because that was the first time I used a kit... I did tell him when I ovulated right after the mc because that (to me) was great news because that meant that things were headed back to normal. This past cycle, I told him that we'd be able to try on the weekend that I O-ed... next month I might keep it to myself if AF shows up and we don't get a BFP for the new year!
  • I tell him.
    m/c 7/17/10
    Dx: MFI- 3% morph
    IUIs: Gonal-F + Ovidrel + b2b IUI= BFNs
    IVF with ICSI= BFP! EDD 11/25/11
    3/18- Beta #1 452! 3/20- Beta #2 1,026!! 3/27- First u/s- TWINS!
    Our twin boys arrived at 36w5d due to IUGR and a growth discordance

    FET: Medicated FET moved up to 5/23 due to ovulation
    Transferred a 6BB hatched blastocyst- genetically normal female embryo
    BFP! 5/28- 5dp6dt      
    6/1 Beta #1- 223! 6/3 Beta #2- 567!

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    Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.
  • He knows because that's the only time we use the preseed.  Also I initiate more during that time and he just kind of figures it out.
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