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What's up with CPS?! ETA: Long & NBR

caitlin*mariecaitlin*marie
in Pregnant after a Loss

So I've been talking to my friend today who spilled the awful news that she is getting a divorce. I didn't want to pry because I know it's a difficult thing to go through but she sort of let it out that her H was beating his kids. (He has 2 kids from a previous marriage and they have one 2yo together). I sort of asked "like spanking, or like, bad?" and she said "pretty f*ing bad". I asked her if CPS had been called and she said her father had called, she had called a few times, AND the school had called a bunch of times. I asked her "and he STILL has them?" She basically told me they do random drop ins and that the kids sort of deny it, and it has to be "really bad" for them to take the kids. WTF?! If the schools are noticing, I'm thinking that's probably BAD ENOUGH. Ugh, this made me so angry! 

I'm glad she is divorcing him but I feel so awful for the kids. They can't do anything for themselves you know? She's going to take him to court to fight for full custody of their son and plans to tell the whole story, so maybe that will help get them taken. But for now, I just feel so horrible.

:( 

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Re: What's up with CPS?! ETA: Long & NBR

  • Galena99Galena99 member
    I know!  I am a teacher and see this happen from time to time.  My mom recently told me she wants to call on her friend's daughter but is afraid the kids would be taken away.  I told her they would probably never do that and that I will call to report it because usually what happens is a case manager is assigned.  I think there are too many kids in the system and these people are overwhelmed.  That's why you see the kids get beaten to death and CPS knew about the abuse.  Sad and scary.   
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  • MCH77MCH77 member

    I am a guidance counselor and I can't tell you how many times I have called CYS and they have not been able to do anything.  Once a parent admitted to me and a cop that she punched her daughter in the face.  CYS wouldn't do anything b/c there were not marks. 

    CYS's goal is to support the family to work together appropriately/succesfully.  So it is only in extreme cases that they take the kids away.  Often they will require counseling (parents/children).

    I really do feel bad for the workers, b/c they have so many kids and so little support.  But it does drive me crazy. 

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  • ShandaBShandaB

    I'm a social worker in child welfare and have worked in a few different departments in my 10 years of social work including CPS.  In many jurisdictions in order to remove a child from a biological parent for physical abuse there has to be either bruising or the child has to admit they are being hit (keeping in mind it is not illegal to spank your child but it is illegal to use excessive physical punishment like using objects or a closed fist). 

    I think many people don't understand that removing a child begins a legal proceeding so we as social workers are bound by the law.  We cannot just remove children because someone makes an allegation.  Every jurisdication gets false reports on a daily basis which is why the allegations have to investigated and substantiated.  I feel really bad that the children are being so badly abused which is obviously the worst thing in the world to do to a child.  I've seen and heard way too many stories of insane abuse and have seen how the abuse effects children in the immediate and in the long term.  I feel so bad for these children and hope everything works out soon.  The only thing you and everyone else involved can do is continue to report and at some point there will be a legal reason to remove.

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  • vflipovflipo member
    That is so sad, those poor kids.
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  • caitlin*mariecaitlin*marie
    I totally understand what everyone saying about their being so many cases and having to have physical proof and everything, but I was thinking since the school actually called that they must have had a reason (i.e. excessive bruising or marks, etc). I hope that the school continues to call and that something is done even after my friend divorces him. It's not fair. :(
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  • PinkGirlInCaliPinkGirlInCali member
    I'm a social worker as well and we get calls from schools all the time. Unfortunately just because it's school personnel making the calls does not make it any more repitable than an anonymous caller. Also like PP said we can not just remove children unless Court allows it. Then the children denying it makes it all that much more complicated! There do not necessarily need to be marks or bruises observed but one of the kids need to fess up. Each case is different but CPS needs something to support the allegation and back up their request for removal other than "but so and so said."
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  • caitlin*mariecaitlin*marie
    Yeah I wish the kids would fess up. It's just a sh!tty situation altogether for them because their mom is a POS too and is in jail. So I think they are afraid to have no one. :( So sad. 
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  • PrincessDi80PrincessDi80
    I deal with this in my line of work all the time too. If CPS can't remove the kids at this time, your sis could look into getting an order or protection. Such a sad situation
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  • Jordan1234Jordan1234
    imageShandaB:

    I'm a social worker in child welfare and have worked in a few different departments in my 10 years of social work including CPS.  In many jurisdictions in order to remove a child from a biological parent for physical abuse there has to be either bruising or the child has to admit they are being hit (keeping in mind it is not illegal to spank your child but it is illegal to use excessive physical punishment like using objects or a closed fist). 

    I think many people don't understand that removing a child begins a legal proceeding so we as social workers are bound by the law.  We cannot just remove children because someone makes an allegation.  Every jurisdication gets false reports on a daily basis which is why the allegations have to investigated and substantiated.  I feel really bad that the children are being so badly abused which is obviously the worst thing in the world to do to a child.  I've seen and heard way too many stories of insane abuse and have seen how the abuse effects children in the immediate and in the long term.  I feel so bad for these children and hope everything works out soon.  The only thing you and everyone else involved can do is continue to report and at some point there will be a legal reason to remove.

     

    This, exactly.   

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