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If you don't talk to one of your parents ?
I apologize for brining up such an unhappy topic after Christmas!!!
How do you handle it when they try to talk to other people to forgive them (ETA sorry tired from the holidays) ???
Backstory. I haven't talked to my mom in 2 months. We have never had a good relationship and she did something that was the last straw. Now she is calling my MIL and asking her to speak to me.
My mom knows I hate creating scenes, and putting ppl in awkward situations. So I know where she is going with this. I talked to my MIL and told her what happened but just wondering what other people have done.
TIA
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Re: If you don't talk to one of your parents ?
that is a tough one.. I was not close to my mom for a lOOOONG time.. Eventually, after I had my son, I realized how hurtful it would be if my child didn't want to have anything to do with me, so I sat down with my mom and basically layed everything out on the table... She thought about it and agreed that the things that she was doing was unacceptable, and needed to change (obv not as easy as it sounds, she did try to fight me on some things, but in the end, she realized where I was comingfrom). Also, my mom went to counseling, so I think that helped too.
It really depends if you are going to fix things with your mom or not.. Have you told her how you truly feel and that having this drama lingering around is not good for you or your family? Maybe you should ask your mom to see a counselor so they can figure out why your mom keeps causing you drama?
My father would constantly do this to people, he would tell them how upset he was about me and tell them it might help if they talked to me. Most people did as he asked and when they would try to talk to me about it I would exsplain that what was going on between he and I was private and I didn't want to put them in the middle of it. That they could continue to have a realtionship with him but that I needed to make my own choices. Some people (read my grandmother and others) couldn't accept this. I just kept repeating to them that this was my choice, and not one I made lightly, and I hoped they could respect it. When all else failed I would leave the conversation, with the person. That first year was so hard on so many of my relationships becuase theey couldn't understand why I felt the way I did but over time, those who love and carred for me realized that it wasn't worth ruining thier relationship with me. I hope that helps, and I wish you the best of luck with your family. Cutting someone out of your life such as a parent is very very hard.
It's tough. I don't have contact with my dad and haven't for several years. We live in a different state and don't have much contact with mutual family members, so it isn't too much of an issue. With people who attempted to get involved (an aunt), I just made it clear that this was my very thoughtful choice (to not have contact with him) and I would not be discussing it with anyone else. If anyone attempted to talk to me about him or the situation, I just completely refused to engage.
I hope it gets better for you!