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CeltiCutie
member
:vent: Please no flames...
CeltiCutie
member
I know it's Christmas and I shouldn't be a bitter betty... but I am. First, about a month or two ago my sister in law (22, just out of college and not married) told us she was pregnant. Ok fine. whatever. I wasn't upset really then because I was too worried about her and her situation. Ok fast forward to now, she complains and talks about how she wishes she didn't have this baby and yada yada yada. OK THAT pisses me off. She even "joked" via text a few weeks ago that she should just give the baby to me. I told her I'd take it in a heartbeat. Just to prove my point that she should be effing happy as I would kill for a baby right now.
Anyway, so that's that situation. NOW my other SIL (who definitely deserves a baby and her and DH's bro have been trying since they got married in August) just announced yesterday on Christmas Eve that she is pregnant. Ok. I'm happy for them and all but what a kick in the teeth ya know? THEN MIL says "I knew it! I've been saying I'll have 4 grandchildren by next Christmas Eve." then she turns to me and says "No pressure." ARE YOU F*(&U*^&% KIDDING ME, lady?! UGH.
THEN a friend on FB just announced that they are having their second baby. Son of a b.
Someone please just stab me in the effing eye now. 
( I just feel like I'm being kicked repeatedly in the gut by someone wearing steel toed boots.
(IF you made it through this whole post you are a saint.)
This discussion has been closed.
Re: :vent: Please no flames...
all i have is ::hugs::
IF is hard and most people who havent been through it wont fully understand. if you ever want to talk about you can email me, or fb msg me.
thanks so much honey. ((hugs back)) I appreciate it so much to just have someone understand.
It definitely was just killer when my MIL turns to me and said "no pressure." and laughed. Ya... thanks... and too late for that... I put enough pressure on myself thanks.
I am hoping this new doctor can get us on the right path. I am very pleased w/ his plan of treatment.
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Hugs
My SIL announced she was pg after DH and I had been ttc for a few months (last pg) and when she told me (luckily over the phone), I burst into tears. She'd already had a baby and it was my turn! She complained the whole pg and it was so difficult for me (granted, we got pg a few months later, but still... sometimes the timing just sucks and yeah... you feel like you're getting kicked when you're down).
Sorry
(((hugs)))
Fellow PCOSer here. I'm sorry you're going through this. IF is an ugly beast. I hope that through this you'll be able to find peace. If I can help with anything, page me or email me at daisies518 at yahoo dot com.
(((hugs)))
Tales of the Wife
((hugs))
When you're battling IF it seems that everyone around you is getting pregnant. For me it was my 23 yr old unmarried sister. Normally, I wouldn't care about someone's marital status when pregnant, but I was so sad for myself that I couldn't help but be bitter. We had been trying for nearly a year at that point. We managed to get pregnant a few months later, only to miscarry for the second time the day after we announced the pregnancy. 4 days later BIL called to tell us his wife was 5 weeks pg (after telling DH that we had announced too early when DH called to tell him we lost the baby). Then one of my closest friends got pregnant and my cousin told me that they were trying.
It's such a hard thing to deal with. Like PP said, no one understands unless they've been through it. But you have many of us EFFers who have been through it, or are going through it, to vent to anytime.
Thank you! Exactly... that's the thing w/ my SIL. I was fine at first and she seemed to be ok but it's gone downhill and her complaining/not wanting the baby is really making me angry and then also worrying me for PPD and what it's goign to be like AFTER ya know? We have been trying since April... so 9 months. I think it's starting to take its toll at this point ya know? About 4 months in I was fine but now it's just getting rough... It's nice (but sad) to have people who understand.
no flames here. i was in your spot when my 15yr old sister told me she was pregnant.
i'll keep praying for you guys. **hugs**
(((((((hugs)))))))
I went through much of the same thing with DD. Tried for 18 months before I got pregnant, and everybody was popping out kids left and right. It was excrutiating! In a way, I'm sort of "there" again, because I want another baby so much, but it just isn't an ideal time right now.
Not at all a flame, but: I didn't realize that two of my cousins were TTC when I made my announcement. I understand that it's a very personal thing, but, have you talked to them about it and how you feel?
I'm only saying this because I really didn't understand the snide remarks I got from them for the weeks following, and I just felt bad when one cousin's FB status read, "Why is it SO trendy to be pregnant right now?!"
I didn't know that she was upset and frustrated and emotionally overwhelmed until she told me directly what she was going through. Because until then, I was so lighthearted and a bit nonchalant about my LO, and didn't get why she always seemed so catty with me. Although I still don't fully understand what that situation is like, it did help me understand what was and wasn't appropriate to say, not only in front of her, but in general- because so many women go through this, and it seems that no one really talks about it. You know?
I just saw y'all are at 9 months TTC. That was a REALLY tough time for me, too. I tried so hard to be happy for everyone around me, but I cried almost daily. I was very lucky that I had an IRL friend at work going through IF as well. We were an amazing support system to each other (and still are!).
At this point I'm really at peace with where we are, but it's still difficult at times. I've hosted 2 baby showers this year, and between family and friends there have been 7 pregnancies this year. 7!!
I just want to renew my offer to chat if you need to. You can totally vent flame-free to me because I promise I've probably thought/said the exact same things many times!!
(((hugs)))
ETA: I wanted to clarify that I don't think you should start hosting baby showers or anything. Like I said, I'm at a different place in my IF journey. I don't think I would have been able to do it at certain times in my journey.
THIS! Except my SIL was kind of mean about it and told me at MIL's house and then said not to tell anyone and went on and on about how she knew we were TTC and had a feeling she would "win the race". How is having a baby a race???? She then spent the rest of the day yelling at her older DS and complaining about being tired and winking at me....
At any rate ::hugs:: I'm so sorry you are going through this. It must be so hard.
((hugs)) I'm so sorry. I just wish ppl would understand that talking about having babies can be hard for some ppl. I have a friend who is pretty much in the same boat as you however she has a lot of ppl asking her when she is having another, little do they know she has 2 miscarriages in 5 months. However they do know she was unable to get pregnant on her own the first time.
Tonya_G--Yes my MIL knows we are trying and dealing with IF issues, but I don't think she quite "gets it" ya know? Most people who have never dealt with it don't, I don't think. Everyone keeps giving me the "Stop trying and it'll just happen" shpeal (sp?). Umm ya no, it won't. Cuz I won't ovulate and thus there will be no baby! lol
daenikoffre--Yes both my SIL's know we are trying. I don't know if they know exactly HOW long but they know about the IF issues.... I cannot ask them to not make their announcements of course, though, ya know? As for my 22 y/o SIL I just think she is young and hormonal right now and doesn't get what an impact her saying things about not wanting her baby has on me. Shoot even if we weren't TTC that would bug me ya know?
daisies916--Thank you so much! You are SO sweet! I have a friend who just dealt w/ Male IF issues and they had to do IUI and eventually IVF to get the twins they just had so she has been a great source of support like your friend and it is invaluable to have someone like that! ITA. I will definitely keep your info and get in touch! thank you!
I'm sorry. I understand how much it sucks. Try to hang in there.
DH & I tried for over a year and a half before we were lucky enough to get pregnant. We had been trying for more than a year when a friend announced her pregnancy. This is a girl who had no desire to be pregnant, never wanted kids and who constantly complained about pregnant women. And she made jokes about how it was all the fault of coffee Petron. I'll admit it took alot for me to smile and tell her congratulations when my heart was breaking for myself. Yeah, it's selfish, but at the time all I could do was think, why her and not me?
It didn't help that all our friends and family were always asking us when we were going to have kids. I'm a very private person so I was uncomfortable talking about the fact that were had been trying with no luck. It was a constant reminder that we were having problems.
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You definitely shouldn't be getting flamed for feeling that way. I don't know your situation or how long you have been trying but I'm sure you will get what you want eventually. Everywhere I turn people are popping up pregnant too. We are trying but I still haven't gotten a period since i got pregnant last time and my son is 18 months. My ovulation tests are all negative too. It's frustrating since I got pregnant very easily last timeand this time its so much more stress and disapointment.
It'll get better. Try not to let it get you down. ::hugs::