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DH having troubles adjusting to 2 kids

KayLee77KayLee77 member
in Two Under 2
did any of your husbands have a hard time adjusting to having 2 kids so close in age?  when ds#1 was born, dh never got frustrated when he cried, he was on top of everything, and very helpful for both me and ds.  Now that ds#2 is here.  Dh gets frustrated very easy when he cries, and even with ds#1 hes started to get frustrated with him.  I feel like I have to constantly be taking over with the both of them.  Im dealing with some ppd, but its getting put on the back burner, because i have to hold it together because i dont feel like i can depend on dh now like i did when we just had one kid.  I dont want to make it sound like dh isnt a good dad, because he really is.  Its just hes having a hard time adjusting. any tips of what i can do to help dh get better adjusted to two kids 2 years apart??



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Re: DH having troubles adjusting to 2 kids

  • AsquaredAsquared member
    that's a tough one!  dh get's really dramatic and I get so annoyed w/ his responses sometimes, like "why me?" type stuff.  I don't know how to help him, but I know it'll get better, so maybe just keep reminding him and yourself of that too!
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  • EchowyspEchowysp member
    Dh went through a bit of an adjustment and I have to say I was surprised. His came out as getting a bit down and crabby.  It finally came out that he was adjusting to the baby stage again.  Our toddler doesn't STTN, so is up with him a lot (he's responsible for ds and I get dd), so I think it was just a tired thing.  He's much better now.  I'd give him time to figure it out and get used to it.  I thought since we had just done it 2 years ago, it would be no big deal, but I was wrong.
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  • RNOHIORNOHIO member
    Yes, my DH had a hard time adjusting.  I was so frustrated in the beginning.  It's just now starting to get better.  DS is a very needy baby and my DD was such an easy baby.  I think that he thought that all babies would be just like DD.  He didn't do well with the sleep deprivation and would always just want to hand off DS whenever he cried (which was a lot).  He would do the "why me" talk too.  Now that DS is 3 mos old he's a little more interactive and smiles and coos so I think that it helps DH be more patient with him.  I was really afraid that he would turn into a horrible dad because he didn't do well in the beginning but he's definitely a lot better  and can handle both of them by himself now.  To be honest, I don't think that any man is "wonderful" with a newborn.  Give him another month or so and I'm sure that he will get better!  Good Luck.
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