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New here and just have a few questions

JanWIBrideJanWIBride
in Two Under 2

Background:  I gave birth to my daughter in July and may get preg (next week) via IUI.  But I'm having anxiety and second guessing if it's too early but I also don't want to push my luck and not have the chance to get preg again.  (I was lucky to have had my daughter as I was told I had 6 mon to concieve her or no babies would be in my future) My babies would be like 1yr and 2-3 months apart if all works out next week.

Questions:

1. If you had to do it all over again would you have them this close?

2. I can do this right?

3. Those that are stay at home mom's or whose husbands don't fully help out how are you doing?

4. When your DH comes home does it work that each one tends to a baby or ???

TIA I just wanted to see how you are doing with it all.  If I left anything out I'd be happy to answer.

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Re: New here and just have a few questions

  • RNOHIORNOHIO member

    1. If you had to do it all over again would you have them this close?

    --I would probably wait just a little while longer so that DD#1 would be a little more independent......but if this was my only chance to get pregnant then heck yeah I would do it this soon.

    2. I can do this right?

    YES!!

    3. Those that are stay at home mom's or whose husbands don't fully help out how are you doing?

    --DH and I both work full time so I can't really answer this one. 

    4. When your DH comes home does it work that each one tends to a baby or ???

    --DH tends to the oldest a little more than the baby but we switch off.  DS is EBF so it's easier for DH to take DD and play with her.  We just work together and if I''m cooking or busy then DH tends to the kids.  If he's busy then I tend to them.  It just becomes second nature. 

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  • Mr.&MrsSMr.&MrsS
    imageJanWIBride:

    Questions:

    1. If you had to do it all over again would you have them this close? Yes, mine are 16 months apart and I actually wanted them closer (I did injects/IUI with both of my boys)

    2. I can do this right? Honestly, it isnt that bad. We had a rough first 4 months, but things are awesome now! I love it, and would do it all over again if I had the chance.

    3. Those that are stay at home mom's or whose husbands don't fully help out how are you doing? DH and I both work full time.

    4. When your DH comes home does it work that each one tends to a baby or ??? At first, when DS2 was little, it seemed to be that one person each tended to a child. But now that they are older it is easy to take care of both of them. They are pretty much on the same schedule, so we do most things as a family of 4 on nights/weekends.

    TIA I just wanted to see how you are doing with it all.  If I left anything out I'd be happy to answer.

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  • Lynn07Lynn07 member
    imageJanWIBride:

    1. If you had to do it all over again would you have them this close? 

     - Too soon to tell :)  My boys are 13 months apart.  I love both of my kiddos, but it is hard work.  I'm still in the early stages, so my thoughts on this may change as they both get a little older.  We knew we wanted 2 kids, and although DS2 was unexpected, I can't imagine life without him now. 

    2. I can do this right?

    - Yep.  Once you get going, it starts to get easier and easier. 

    3. Those that are stay at home mom's or whose husbands don't fully help out how are you doing?

    - I work part time, but I haven't gone back from maternity leave yet.  DH works full time, but is amazingly helpful when he's home.  Right now I'm alone about 10 hours/day while he works.  I;m learning to take help when it's offered, and try to get out a couple of hours/week alone to run errands and catch my breath.

     4. When your DH comes home does it work that each one tends to a baby or ???

    - Right now we kind of just tag team.  If one LO needs something, one of us gets them.  If while they're busy the other LO needs something, the other one of us gets them.   

    TIA I just wanted to see how you are doing with it all.  If I left anything out I'd be happy to answer.

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  • scherzascherza

    1.  Mine are 11 months apart and although we didn't plan it that way, we've both been happy with how it's worked out.  The thing everybody who had children 12 months or thereabouts apart told me was that the first year is flat-out hard, but it gets so much easier after that...and they were right!

    2.  Yes, you can do this.  You really can.  Like a PP said, learn to take people up when they offer to help you.  Learn to let some things go.  Learn to love routines and planning (we have lists upon lists to keep us organized!)

    3.  I'm a part-time SAHM.  I teach high school and the kids are in an on-site daycare, which means that if I'm off, they're off.  It's tough at times to be the only adult and have two kids who need your attention.  But the great thing about having them close together is that pretty soon they'll start to nap at the same time, and you'll be able to catch your breath for a couple of hours.

    DH is a full-on involved parent when he's home, but he's starting grad school in January and will be out of the house two nights a week.  While that would have been next to impossible for me to handle when DS was a baby, now it's not a big deal.  I can do their bedtime routines solo.  It works better when we're both home, but if one of us has to be out, it's not the incredible task it used to be.

    4.  When he gets home, it's usually about dinnertime.  We eat together; if I'm finishing up dinner (I get home first and start it), he'll play with the kids or make sure everything's ready to go upstairs for bathtime and bedtime.  You'll figure out what works -- and it will be a little different every day.  We do split up for putting the kids to bed (he takes one and I take one) because that's what works best, but if one of us has to fly solo, it's not too rought.

    Good luck!

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  • CaitlinJ22CaitlinJ22 member
    1. If you had to do it all over again would you have them this close?yes, mine are 18 months and I love it. I think any earlier would have been really rough, but for the most part you deal with what you are dealt.  I love how close they are, DS loves his sister and they giggle and interact its very sweet. The first 2 wks were rough, and DS was very jealous but he got used to her. 2. I can do this right?Yes, people ask me all the time how I do it, I say you just do. Its a joy to have them. Some people cant have any children and as hard as it is, I love it and wouldnt change it for the world.  3. Those that are stay at home mom's or whose husbands don't fully help out how are you doing?I SAH and my husband is on a 3 wk on 3 wk off schedule on his rig. Its rough when he is gone, but its worth it. The first hitch away was rough since she was 2 wks old and DS was still getting used to her. I had no family here until she was 2 months and still its not like I get tons of help, its more of support. I learned fast to get a sitter once a wk for my sanity (even if it was just for 1 child). Also to take offers of help and dinners made when offered.  4. When your DH comes home does it work that each one tends to a baby or ???When he is home its for 3 wks straight. DS loves when he is here and so DH tends to him a lot. He bathes him and puts him down for naps when DS wants him to. Now that DD is older he can stay with her longer and manages them both fine alone. (I BF so only leave him for a little while with both...but she will take a bottle so that helps).My advice is not to think too much into it all yet. I was scared out of my mind. I over thought it all, and its really not that bad.  Its a logistical nightmare at first (how to get two kids in/out of the car etc) but you figure it all out..like anything else. Plus its hard to imagine your little baby older, but you have 9 months to add to her age so its not like she will be a little baby when you add LO 2. People tried to scare the crap out of me, but really it all works out in the end. Do I have rough days? YES. but its all worth it when you see one child kiss the other without being prompted =) When I used to worry about all this, the ladies on here would tell me that by giving DS a sibling I was giving him the best gift there was. I totally understand that now. He has a partner in crime for his childhood, and someone to share holiday dinners with when we are no longer around.  Good luck to you, and just trust that whatever and whenever is supposed to happen will =) 
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  • JanWIBrideJanWIBride
    Thank you everyone for your wonderful responses and advice!  Like you said Caitlin whatever will be will be.  That is so true!
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