Do you all exchange gifts with your DH?

B&C03 · December 2010

I told DH I do not want to exchange anymore, it is not entirely money but unfortunately I am home (not working) and not happy with my weight so there is not much I can recommend he get me.

Given that I am not working, why bother buying him anything. Does this make sense?

Fashiongal1973 · December 2010

We usually buy something big for the house and then exchange little things. This year we bought a sofa for the basement. I stay home so we share money. It is harder to get something to surprise DH because he can see where I spend money. All I got him was a book, shirt and nose hair trimmer.

BrideBuddies · December 2010

I disagree, and it sounds kind of depressing, really.

A small, inexpensive and thoughtful gift could lift your spirits, wouldn't it? Some bubble bath? A fun DVD?

I'd just suggest you and DH set a limit of, oh, $10 or 20 or less... and just get something a little fun!

B&C03 · December 2010

It is not really the money. I return things he gets me .... it is sad but true which is why I do not want to exchange anymore.

BrideBuddies · December 2010

Aw.. .that just sounds sad!! And returning things he buys for you is probably not helping his confidence.. unless he really doesn't put any thought into it and never will.

Have you flat-out told him, "This is what you should get me?" Lame as it sounds, but some guys just don't have a clue.. ever. You have to be hideously blunt with them, sometimes. I told my husband, "I want new lounging pajamas. They're on sale this week at such-and-such. I need this size."

Of course, I sit here wearing the lame-o slippers he gave me for my first mother's day.. sigh!

B&C03 · December 2010

He gets me gifts related to things he is interested in. He knows I like to take baths but would he think of bubble bath soap - no. I listen to people when the holidays are approaching. Like my mother said her and my Dad find buying Williams and Sonoma soap and lotion a splurge. I bought them the winter pine set for Christmas. He just does not get it. When we first dated he got me a Movado watch (one you don't see often - kind of ugly, not the round face - I did not like it much but wore it, Tiffany necklace - too small for my stature but I wore it. I'm tired of him wasting money like this.

Why don't you go and get yourself new slippers, what you want, they do not cost much, unless you are into the overpriced UGG ones.

busybea · December 2010

Yes, we definitely exchange gifts...I think not only is it fun, but also heartwarming. We usually tell each other what we want and put a limit on the amount that we spend, to make it fair. This year, the limit was obviously much smaller ($100.00) than in previous years so I got him a GARMIN and he's getting me a faux leather ottoman for the bedroom (which i've been wanting for a looong time). I have too much jewelry and so much perfume that I usually end up throwing most away.

ScoobyM · December 2010

We also exchange gifts. DH always has a pretty solid list to work from as he notes things down during the year that he would like. I'm like the project manager, I have to coordinate between his family and mine using that list so they don't all get him the same thing. Usually he has a bunch of DVDs or books, etc. which his parents and mine will get him and that leaves me with the bigger items that he wants. He does the same with my list. I also always try to get him a few surprise items too just to make it more interesting and fun. My poor DH is not big on surprise gifts, in his family they all work off each other's lists, and I think he feels a bit of pressure every year to get me a surprise or two. Maybe your DH genuinely thinks he's giving you stuff you will want; I think some men really aren't very good at coming up with gift ideas. Maybe he needs more direct guidance?

Just to share, when we first started dating, DH returned a few of my "surprise" gifts from our first Christmases and birthdays together. I was really hurt because in my family no one ever would return a gift even if they don't want it or don't like it; we just put it away and bring it out when the giver is around, LOL. In his family, it is normal to keep all receipts and for people to return the items they don't really want or like, so he didn't think anything of it. Anyway, I am very proud of myself that I have learned his tastes and such and he hasn't returned anything from me in a long time (although he did return a shirt from his mom a couple years ago - hah!). Since he's kind of picky I consider it a real accomplishment!

kimisuejoia · December 2010

That makes me sad for you! We always exchange gifts, and sometimes I like the things he gets me more than others just like I'm sure sometimes the things I get him aren't in his top ten... But it really is the thought that counts and I love that he thinks enough of me to try to find something I'd like.

Pesky · December 2010

We do. Sometimes we put the money towards something big for both of us (one year it was a TV) and sometimes it is gifts that are more for one or the other.

Pesky · December 2010

B&C03:
It is not really the money. I return things he gets me .... it is sad but true which is why I do not want to exchange anymore.

The list! This is why you go with the list! There are VERY few things I could get for DH and rest assured that they would not be returned. Same with me. So we draw up lists of things from "if you've recently won the lottery" to just pennies (Neo to Go, stamps, etc.). Surely there are some inexpensive things you would like and could steer him towards. Books, bath gels, comfy slippers, etc. Be very specific in your list (I've learned the hard way that is key) and you'll likely end up with what you want.

Peppernut · December 2010

Awww! That makes me sad for you guys, and it sounds like you could use a mood lifter!

We do gifts. Rom is pretty good at them! I feel weird spending money because this is the first year we are on his income only, but I am working on it.

LyndaCarter · December 2010

We don't exchange gifts either. If we want something we just go get it ourselves. We do exchange cards with a promise of something in it. Usually something fun and sexy for just us.

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