Christmas - I hope DH heard this wrong!
This past weekend was BM's with SD, but BM called and said she was too sick so SD needed to stay here. We are trying to keep a relationship between the 2, but BM is helping in no way!
Monday SD had counseling and DH heard BM tell the kids that she'd see them Christmas Eve. It is our week to have them for Christmas and exchange is usually 12pm on Christmas Day, so we were confused. DH asked her about it and she was like well I made plans for Christmas Eve, so I'll pick SS up at 4pm on Christmas Eve and drop him off at 12pm on Christmas Day then get him again on the 26th. See anybody missing from this? That's right, sounds like SD will not see her mom at all for Christmas.
We asked when she was taking SD for her week of vacation and she said "oh I wasn't planning on keeping her that week, but if she wants to come have her call me to set it up." SD called BM and it sounds like she might be going to her grandma's next week, but BM wasn't sure yet. SD wants to do that and go for New Years Eve at a house that they go to for a party.
I am really not sure if BM wants to see SD at all over this holiday. And not to see her kid on Christmas, when she has that opportunity is just wrong.
BM shouldn't be so scared of DH keeping SD away from her, as we are bending over backwards and throwing all our plans out to accomadate things right now, but BM is the one keeping SD away and if she keeps this up SD won't want to go there at all.
We also filled out a new parenting plan and asked BM to read over it but she said it was too complicated so she needed to get a lawyer to explain it. If it isn't done in a month then we will just file for mediation because we're tired of waiting to get custody of SD when her mom doesn't even see her. She has seen her 3 days in over a month.
Re: Christmas - I hope DH heard this wrong!
This way we actually get SS longer, so I guess that is good. She called SD tonight and said SD would not be going over there till sometime in January and started telling SD how she was ruining her life. DH took the phone and talked to BM because SD was in tears. SD has done absolutely nothing wrong since she's been here to anybody so I am not sure where this woman gets off being so hateful to her!
If I thought it was smart I would let anyone call and chew her out, but it will just backfire onto SD, which is why we are trying to be so accomodating. I hate that SD is the one being blamed for anything and everything. I guess neighbors are giving BM dirty looks and she is blaming it on SD. SD hasn't been over there except for 3 days in a month and a half, I check her FB and email, she has done nothing wrong. BM just needs to realize that she is the problem not SD.
This way we actually get SS longer, so I guess that is good. She called SD tonight and said SD would not be going over there till sometime in January and started telling SD how she was ruining her life. DH took the phone and talked to BM because SD was in tears. SD has done absolutely nothing wrong since she's been here to anybody so I am not sure where this woman gets off being so hateful to her!
If I thought it was smart I would let anyone call and chew her out, but it will just backfire onto SD, which is why we are trying to be so accomodating. I hate that SD is the one being blamed for anything and everything. I guess neighbors are giving BM dirty looks and she is blaming it on SD. SD hasn't been over there except for 3 days in a month and a half, I check her FB and email, she has done nothing wrong. BM just needs to realize that she is the problem not SD.
BFP 11/23/10 MMC @ 7w3d Discovered @ 10w2d D&C 1/12/11
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SS has told us that SD does nothing wrong, but gets yelled at a lot. We did ask how he was doing and he said it can be rough sometimes, but didn't elaborate. He said J's kids treat him bad about half the time. I think part of the problem is SD wants attention and gets absolutely none now from her mom. We have tried to tell her mom this, but she says SD is just trying to break them up. BM also constantly asks DH what is doing to fix all this, yet how is he supposed to fix it when she calls once a week yelling at SD? BM even told SD's counselor that she and SD will both be working to fix this relationship and try and be better. I have seen SD being great (she even helped pick out and wrap presents for J's kids) We will be getting SD a new counselor or therapist, nobody seems to like this one.