I have lost my mind (Christmas rant, NBR)

Jram85 · December 2010

You all are going to think I am insane...

I feel guilty when I receive gifts around the holidays because I can't reciprocate. I have virtually no $$ to spend on gifts - my budget is just so tight right now and I'm trying to save for baby. I'm hardly scraping by! My hubby is deployed to Korea and I can't go due to it being a 'remote' base, and even though we are getting some money from the military, that goes directly to bills the day the $ shows up in the bank account. I've had a tight budget since I lost my job over 3 years ago... I still haven't recovered. Before I was able to give friends and family fairly expensive gifts, now I can't afford much of anything.

Anyway, when I checked the mail today I found I had two large size priority mail boxes from USPS and a padded envelope. I saw those and just started crying because I have nothing to give in return, except thank you cards. And, the gifts came from my husband's family - we're very newly married and I want to reciprocate the gift-giving as much as possible.

I really want the holiday to be over. I guess I feel like people will be disappointed that they didn't get gifts from me when they gave gifts to me. Anyone know what I'm talking about? Have I lost my mind? My hormones are going wacky.

tlxh7 · December 2010

I don't think you're insane at all, in fact I usually feel the same way (though I've never been able to give expensive gifts). Could you do homemade gifts? We usually do cookies/candies, or dips or dry mixes are always good. Either way, don't stress - if people only give to you expecting something in return, they're giving in the wrong spirit to start!

wolfchik9 · December 2010

I'm pretty sure they understand. It's his family so they have to know how hard it is for you to be alone, pregnant, and trying to do everything you can to make it on your own till he returns. Enjoy the gifts, call them and thank them in person, and explain how grateful you are for their generosity and one day you'll be able to repay them. I'm positive they will appreciate your personal call and thank you and will just be excited to hear how you and your baby are doing so far. Don't stress over it, if they don't understand then they need to reprioritize.

pandi02a · December 2010

I am sure they all understand. It won't always be so tough.

Growing up my parents had a lot of tough years. One year on Christmas day, my parents told us that they had received an anonymous letter containing $450 to buy us gifts. We still don't know who gave us that money, but someone obviously knew that we needed it that year. Some years you give, some years you are the receiver. Just make sure when you can that you give back.

I hope you have a Merry Christmas.

Jram85 · December 2010

I was able to make hand made things, but it just doesn't feel the same, you know?

My husband has assured me that his family understands, but I still feel bad about it. Sad

Mrs.McLovin · December 2010

You sound very kind. The family members who sent the gifts were kind and will understand. A nice card or phone call would go a long way.

Temp170555000002207 · December 2010

Your husband's family is probably happy to be able to do something to make the deployment easier on you. But as a former Army wife, I know how hard it is for us to accept help/gifts. I say enjoy their kindness and remember you will have plenty of Christmases in the future to give them bigger gifts to show your appreciation.

Jram85 · December 2010

Thanks the the kind words everyone

You were right - I was over reacting a bit. They just care about us and the baby. Can't wait for these hormones to calm down!

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