Working Moms
met DH 1995 ~ married DH 2006 ~ completed our family 2008
Life is good!
Poll: kids
1. What do you think is the best age to have kids and why?
2. What is the best number of kids to have?
3. How do you deal with other people imposing their mothering opinions on you?
4. Do you think it is important for your kids to have a close relationship with their extended family?
5. If you had the opportunity to guarantee the sex of your next child (say you really want a girl), would you do it?
6. How do you cope with the hardest part of being a working mom?
7. What's your best piece of advice for a new working mom?
8. What's the cutest thing your kid has done/said recently? Pictures if you have them!
met DH 1995 ~ married DH 2006 ~ completed our family 2008
Life is good!
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Poll: kids
4. Do you think it is important for your kids to have a close relationship with their extended family? Yes5. If you had the opportunity to guarantee the sex of your next child (say you really want a girl), would you do it? Not sure!6. How do you cope with the hardest part of being a working mom? Try not to sweat the small stuff
7. What's your best piece of advice for a new working mom? I don't feel bad about sending my son to daycare because he loves the other kids and has fun there!
8. What's the cutest thing your kid has done/said recently? Pictures if you have them! Started talking more!
1. best age: early 30's so you can get your career started and live your life before your life does a 180 with kids
2. # of kids: How ever many you can afford given time, money and patience restraints (for us, 1)
3. other's mothering opinions: I just smile and nod, like I did with wedding opinions. Everyone has their own family and is entitled to their own way to raise them.
4. extended family: absolutely. DD sees her 3 sets of grandparents at least once a week, cousins and uncles every other month, my/DH cousins every couple months. I loved my relationship with my extended fam growing up and hope DD has the same.
5. guarantee the sex: nope, like the roll of the dice. But I had DD first. If I didn't have a daughter, I might feel differently. I really wanted a girl.
6. hardest part: For me, sleep has always been a challenge. I sneak sleep when ever I can. When she naps on the weekends, on my train ride to/from work, go to bed when she does, etc. Sleep when the baby sleeps still applies to the toddler years, but not as much as it did when she was an infant.
7. best piece of advice: Take it easy on yourself. It's one of the hardest adjustments you will ever make, so don't beat yourself up if the laundry/dishes pile up or you let calls go to voice mail. Get sleep when ever you can, as it will effect every other part of your life. Enjoy every minute you can with your LO as they will feel too few as your LO grows too quickly. Embrace your caregiver as a part of your team, don't think of them as a stranger or someone trying to replace you.
8. cutest thing: Santa came to church Sunday while the kids were all at the alter for the children's sermon. DD couldn't stand the wait for him to walk down the aisle, so ran down give him a hug. She was shorter than the pews so I couldn't see her, but knew it had to be her giving out hugs to her favorite man. She LOVES Santa!met DH 1995 ~ married DH 2006 ~ completed our family 2008
Life is good!
1. What do you think is the best age to have kids and why? The age you feel prepared to have them.
2. What is the best number of kids to have? It depends on how many you can handle.
3. How do you deal with other people imposing their mothering opinions on you? I haven't really gotten this yet.
4. Do you think it is important for your kids to have a close relationship with their extended family? Absolutely.
5. If you had the opportunity to guarantee the sex of your next child (say you really want a girl), would you do it? No.
6. How do you cope with the hardest part of being a working mom? I say to myself "I'm doing the best I can".
7. What's your best piece of advice for a new working mom? Do the best you can.
8. What's the cutest thing your kid has done/said recently? Pictures if you have them! They're so excited about Christmas - we are sharing the story of Santa Claus (giving to others, etc...)
1. What do you think is the best age to have kids and why?
I think it all depends on how many you want and when you meet your spouse. For us, it was the "best age" to start when I was around 31. I didn't meet DH until I was 27 and we weren't ready before then. In hindsight, I wish we'd been ready around 28 b/c then I could have been done by 35 and spaced my kids out more, but that wouldn't have worked so well for us. And, starting at 31 allowed me to put some time in toward my career and be established before starting a family.
2. What is the best number of kids to have?
This is so individual, it's hard to answer. For us, 2 or 3. Probably 2, but we still want 3. We're masochistic that way.
3. How do you deal with other people imposing their mothering opinions on you?
I just mostly ignore them and give them the stink eye to warn them that they're getting into dangerous territory.
4. Do you think it is important for your kids to have a close relationship with their extended family?
I think it's important for them to know them. I think that if the family doesn't want to have a close relationship, it's their loss. What's most important is that the immediate family is happy. I've quit trying to make the extended family happy b/c it's impossible.
5. If you had the opportunity to guarantee the sex of your next child (say you really want a girl), would you do it?
Nope. I have one of each and that's great and all, but sometimes I wonder if DS would get along better with his sibling if he'd had a brother vs. sister (but maybe he wouldn't). Then again, I think he gets along well with females b/c he has a sister and I think that's great, too. I really would have been fine with all boys (DH is one of 3 boys), all girls (I'm one of 3 girls) and one of each is good too.
6. How do you cope with the hardest part of being a working mom?
Not sure what the hardest part is, for me it just gets hard if things aren't in balance. For those times, I just try to remember that transitions are tough and we'll get back in balance eventually ... or at least get used to the "new normal."
7. What's your best piece of advice for a new working mom?
See above. Transitions are tough, they just take time and eventually you get used to the new normal. Just be patient and you'll work through it.
8. What's the cutest thing your kid has done/said recently? Pictures if you have them!
I wish I'd taken a picture this AM. DS was writing on the dry erase side of his easel this AM and wrote "DS first name + BFF's first name" inside a heart. It was so damn cute! Of course, I had to ask him if she was his girlfriend. lol!
4. Do you think it is important for your kids to have a close relationship with their extended family? yes5. If you had the opportunity to guarantee the sex of your next child (say you really want a girl), would you do it? If it was a magical thing, like make a wish, yes, if it was a medical procedure no6. How do you cope with the hardest part of being a working mom? not being able to participate in all the baby activities that are held in the mornings and cancelled when schools (and me) are off
7. What's your best piece of advice for a new working mom? I really don't know, I'm home by 3, if I wasn't I'd have a much harder time dealing
8. What's the cutest thing your kid has done/said recently? Pictures if you have them! She's standing on her own!
1. What do you think is the best age to have kids and why? For us it is late 20's/early 30's. By this age we had been together long enough to have a solid marriage and we were financially and emotionally ready for children.
2. What is the best number of kids to have? Depends on your personality and finances. I think that 2 would be as many as we could handle easily. Although unless we are able for me to at least cut back to PT by the time I am 35 DD will be an only child.
3. How do you deal with other people imposing their mothering opinions on you? I just smile and nod and then do what I want anyway.
4. Do you think it is important for your kids to have a close relationship with their extended family? I think it is nice, but not necessary.
5. If you had the opportunity to guarantee the sex of your next child (say you really want a girl), would you do it? To be honest, I am not sure.
6. How do you cope with the hardest part of being a working mom? The hardest part for me is feeling like I am missing out on time, which is something you can't get back. I don't cope with this well, which is why my goal for 2011 is to find a way to go PT. Right now I try to take off a Friday here and there and pack in all the errands, cleaning, etc that needs to be done for the week so that I can relax and enjoy my weekend with DD and DH.
7. What's your best piece of advice for a new working mom? Find a DCP that you love and trust. It makes all the difference.
8. What's the cutest thing your kid has done/said recently? Pictures if you have them! I sneezed the other day and DD said, "Bless you Mommy." I didn't even know she knew to say that when someone sneezes. It was too cute.
1. What do you think is the best age to have kids and why? I think late 20s and early 30s is the best time.
2. What is the best number of kids to have? It depends on the family and their situation, of course, but 2 seems ideal.
3. How do you deal with other people imposing their mothering opinions on you? Having twins and being young, I've learned very quickly to ignore or say something sassy back to them.
4. Do you think it is important for your kids to have a close relationship with their extended family? Yes, I do. I think family is one of the most important things that a person can have and their love and support is beneficial. I grew up in a huge family and we were all so close and I still treasure and cherish them.
5. If you had the opportunity to guarantee the sex of your next child (say you really want a girl), would you do it? No.
6. How do you cope with the hardest part of being a working mom? It's very hard not being able to spend every minute of every day with them but I know I'm doing this, I'm working, for their lives to be better and for us to be all happy.
7. What's your best piece of advice for a new working mom? Enjoy every minute you have with them. Don't fuss or bother about cleaning or anything like that. Those things can wait. Play with your child, cuddle, laugh, dance, and just have fun.
8. What's the cutest thing your kid has done/said recently? Pictures if you have them! Ella lovessss to kiss her brother and even if he's trying to get away from her, she'll chase him down. Luke will do something naughty and then, gasp when I tell him to stop. He knows he's doing something bad but he's a devil.
1. What do you think is the best age to have kids and why? When you are established in a career and have a stable home environment (in an ideal world, of course).
2. What is the best number of kids to have? 2-3
3. How do you deal with other people imposing their mothering opinions on you? I just listen as if I care. I don't care to pick fights over things. Although I do request that MIL and DCP (take care of DD while we work) follow our parenting views.
4. Do you think it is important for your kids to have a close relationship with their extended family? Yes, assuming they are mature and 'good' people. FIL is an alcoholic, so DH doesn't want DD to be too close with him. I get that. Otherwise, yes DD will be close with MIL, other ILs and my side of the family.
5. If you had the opportunity to guarantee the sex of your next child (say you really want a girl), would you do it? Nope
6. How do you cope with the hardest part of being a working mom? Not having enough time to do house chores. Once I'm home, I rather spend time with DD not doing chores.
7. What's your best piece of advice for a new working mom? Have a great support system and accept that you can't do everything.
8. What's the cutest thing your kid has done/said recently? Pictures if you have them! She is starting to coo very loudly and clasp her hand together. (I'm at work so I can't upload any pictures.)
Please keep your LOs RF as long as possible
2. What is the best number of kids to have? 2
3. How do you deal with other people imposing their mothering opinions on you? usually just smile and ignore
4. Do you think it is important for your kids to have a close relationship with their extended family? sort of. I didn't have grandparents, and I really love the bond my kids will have with theirs. But day to day, I think they really just need mom and dad.
5. If you had the opportunity to guarantee the sex of your next child (say you really want a girl), would you do it? No-- I could see advantages either way. I'm glad we have a boy, but would have loved having another girl.
6. How do you cope with the hardest part of being a working mom? simplify and let things go and tell myself it won't be like this forever.
7. What's your best piece of advice for a new working mom? Get your DH on board with things! It has taken awhile, but I really feel like we have a great balance and distribution of labor!
8. What's the cutest thing your kid has done/said recently? Pictures if you have them!
1. What do you think is the best age to have kids and why? I think this varies per the individual. when you're financially capable and mature enough to care for children.
2. What is the best number of kids to have? again , varies. we have two. works for us for now...
3. How do you deal with other people imposing their mothering opinions on you? smile , thank them or laugh it off. just b/c someone offers advice you do not care for doesn't mean they are wrong, or that you have to take it, or that you have to be offended.
4. Do you think it is important for your kids to have a close relationship with their extended family? yes, but that doesn't necessarily mean they have to live in the same city. my kids do not live near their GPs and Aunts and Uncles. but they are close to them and are so excited when we do see them.
5. If you had the opportunity to guarantee the sex of your next child (say you really want a girl), would you do it? no
6. How do you cope with the hardest part of being a working mom? what's the hardest part? for some working is great. for some it's a stress. motherhood is full of stress and joy and frustration and happiness.... just focus on the good stuff.
7. What's your best piece of advice for a new working mom? don't beat yourself up over it. don't focus on you being a "working mom" ... just do what you can, do the best you can. sleep when you can.
8. What's the cutest thing your kid has done/said recently? Pictures if you have them! they've been singing Christmas carols a LOT... at the top of their lungs. who needs pandora when you have a 3 and 5 y/o to sing to ya?
1. What do you think is the best age to have kids and why?I think it all depends on how many kids you want, and where you are in your life. DH and I started early because we knew we wanted a large family and didn't want to risk of having possible issues with "advanced maternal age"
2. What is the best number of kids to have? for us? a house full, how ever many that is! I think this is a highly personal decision based on a lot of factors.
3. How do you deal with other people imposing their mothering opinions on you? As PP said, smile and nod, you can't argue with someone who thinks they are right. I do the occasional "that sounds great, but it's not for us, thank you for your suggestion though" I learned early that no one cares what your opinion is when they are giving you theirs.
4. Do you think it is important for your kids to have a close relationship with their extended family? For our family it is a necessity, but I know a few friends that it is better that they don't have a relationship with extended family.. sad, but better for them.
5. If you had the opportunity to guarantee the sex of your next child (say you really want a girl), would you do it?I I like to know, but I don't necessarily need to pick, I'd prefer knowing I had a healthy baby over picking sex.
6. How do you cope with the hardest part of being a working mom? The fact that my family will have a better life because I'm working. I'd LOVE to be a SAHM but that would mean major sacrifices for the family. I get to see my babies in the morning, at night (for dinner and bed), and all weekends, I make the best of the time I have with them, and I remind myself of what we have because I work.
7. What's your best piece of advice for a new working mom? Breath and relax, it doesn't need to all get done today.
8. What's the cutest thing your kid has done/said recently? Pictures if you have them! DS2 was on the phone with Mee Mar (grandma) and she asked him if he decorated the Christmas tree and if it was big, and he said "Yes Mee Mar, see!" and held the phone up to the tree as if she could see it1. What do you think is the best age to have kids and why? It depends on the individual. Older rather than younger would be my preference.
2. What is the best number of kids to have? Whatever works for you.
3. How do you deal with other people imposing their mothering opinions on you? They really don't - I have never really had someone be an a$$ to me. Or I don't remember. Can't argue with the results, I would say.
4. Do you think it is important for your kids to have a close relationship with their extended family? It is important that they have a close relationship with the people that are close to us - family, friends, etc. Not really concerned with extended family.
5. If you had the opportunity to guarantee the sex of your next child (say you really want a girl), would you do it? I am done but I would say no.
6. How do you cope with the hardest part of being a working mom? I choose to roll with it and be happy.
7. What's your best piece of advice for a new working mom? Guilt wates time and energy.
8. What's the cutest thing your kid has done/said recently? Pictures if you have them! The boys are just starting to "get" Christmas. They hadn't asked for naythign specific until 3 days ago when S said Satna was going to bring him a "Another Baby Mickey" which is a figurine that he loves. And B started saying Santa was going to bring him a "toy blimp".
Thank GOD for AMAZON!!!
Here is my favorite pic from two years ago and the reason we are staying away from mall Santas because we have PTSD:
OMG - LOVE this!
1. What do you think is the best age to have kids and why? When you are ready and able to provide for and take care of another person. I can't really give a specific age though.
2. What is the best number of kids to have? For me 1, possibly 2. I cannot speak for anyone else.
3. How do you deal with other people imposing their mothering opinions on you? I just listen and say ok. If it something that gets under my skin I tell them so.
4. Do you think it is important for your kids to have a close relationship with their extended family? Yes, I believe family is extremely important.
5. If you had the opportunity to guarantee the sex of your next child (say you really want a girl), would you do it? For my DH's sake I'd have to say yes (he has 3 girls), but I'd take whatever came.
6. How do you cope with the hardest part of being a working mom? I keep plenty of pictures of DD around at work and when I'm home I make the most of our time. I'm always thinking of different places we can go or activities we can do. And I cherish our quiet times together.
7. What's your best piece of advice for a new working mom? Breathe and relax. It will be fine and you can do it! Trust in your DCP and check in on LO if you can in the beginning, it will ease your mind.
8. What's the cutest thing your kid has done/said recently? Pictures if you have them! I don't have pics, but every once in a while she'll decide to give out kisses. She'll kiss you a million times if you let her and she tries to make the MWAH noise!
1. What do you think is the best age to have kids and why? i had my first at 25 and it has worked out just fine
2. What is the best number of kids to have? i have 2, my boyfriend has 2 and we want at least one more... but i only have one brother so this big family stuff is all new to me! i can see benefits to both small and big families.
3. How do you deal with other people imposing their mothering opinions on you? i'm just appreciative and then i do it my own way
4. Do you think it is important for your kids to have a close relationship with their extended family? my brother doesn't have any kids yet and he lives two states away, so i don't know how it will work out, but i'd LOVE for my kids to be close with their cousins. I was never close with mine.
5. If you had the opportunity to guarantee the sex of your next child (say you really want a girl), would you do it? nope, love the surprise!!
6. How do you cope with the hardest part of being a working mom? i work late one week per month and really depend on my boyfriend to help get the kids home and fed, and keep the house picked up.
7. What's your best piece of advice for a new working mom? be sure to take time for yourself... depend on your SO to help give you an hour or so a week at least where you aren't responsible for anything except making yourself relaxed and happy.
8. What's the cutest thing your kid has done/said recently? Pictures if you have them! no pics at work, but my 3yr old DS wanted to ask Santa for a 'helicopter' but he says it 'hoppy-copper'... too cute!
1. What do you think is the best age to have kids and why? I think any time. I do think it is a bit easier when careers are a little more stable and there is some money in the bank. Maybe early 30s.
2. What is the best number of kids to have? Whatever works for the individual. 2 works for us.
3. How do you deal with other people imposing their mothering opinions on you? I just smile and ignore. If pressed, I say "thanks for your opinion but as it is our decision, I ask you to respect it."
4. Do you think it is important for your kids to have a close relationship with their extended family? Yes, provided the extended family is not toxic or BSC. Ours aren't so that's not a problem.
5. If you had the opportunity to guarantee the sex of your next child (say you really want a girl), would you do it? No. I don't think I would have when pg with DS. We truly would've been happy either way.
6. How do you cope with the hardest part of being a working mom? Just remembering that I'd be a terrible SAHM. And that I am hoping for more flexibility in the future.
7. What's your best piece of advice for a new working mom? Find the silver lining. Look for your DC's enjoyment of DC and his/her new friends. Enjoy your time to yourself. If unhappy, work towards an end goal of eventually being PT when your kid is a tween and REALLY needs that parental presence.
8. What's the cutest thing your kid has done/said recently? Pictures if you have them!
DH asked DD where she lived last night. DD replied randomly "Hong Kong."
DD -- 5YO
DS -- 3YO
1. What do you think is the best age to have kids and why? Late 20s to early 30s.
2. What is the best number of kids to have? 2. I'm not opposed to having 3 but 2 feels complete to me.
3. How do you deal with other people imposing their mothering opinions on you? I nod my head and remind them that parenting decisions are very personal and everyone has to do what works for them.
4. Do you think it is important for your kids to have a close relationship with their extended family? Yes, but mostly because our extended family is very close. I don't know what I'd do without them!
5. If you had the opportunity to guarantee the sex of your next child (say you really want a girl), would you do it? Maybe. If I went for a third baby, I think I'd want a girl. I have visions of being "mother of the bride" one day. Lol.
6. How do you cope with the hardest part of being a working mom? I don't have a hard time coping with working outside the home. I really enjoy it but sometimes I have to remind myself that it's totally fine if the house isn't perfectly clean or I didn't get to check everything off my to-do list for the day.
7. What's your best piece of advice for a new working mom? I like the PP that said something about guilt being a waste of time. If you made the decision to work outside the home, own it and make the best of it.
8. What's the cutest thing your kid has done/said recently? Pictures if you have them! This morning as I was leaving for work my LO, who is usually fond of the phrase, "see you later" says to me, "bye mommy, have fun"...LOL.
1. What do you think is the best age to have kids and why? Late 20s, early 30s. For the most part, you've had time to develop your career, learn more about yourself before becoming a mom. Also, it leaves you time to space out births if you want to do that. I had DS when I was 34. I'm starting to question whether it's smart for me to even think about having another child now that I'm almost 37, and may even be closer to 38 when we're ready to have another one.
2. What is the best number of kids to have? I like 2, but I think everyone has their own number.
3. How do you deal with other people imposing their mothering opinions on you? Most likely I'd just give a vague response, and then go on my merry way. If it's worthwhile, I'll take it into consideration, if not, I'll vent to DH about how ridiculous it sounded. I'm kind of passive-aggressive that way.
4. Do you think it is important for your kids to have a close relationship with their extended family? Yes.
5. If you had the opportunity to guarantee the sex of your next child (say you really want a girl), would you do it? No. I'm kind of torn about what I'd prefer the next time around. In some ways it would be great to have one of each, but I've had so much fun raising my boy, so I can't decide!
6. How do you cope with the hardest part of being a working mom? I look on the bright side - DS is learning so many things, academically and socially, that I may not have provided him had I stayed home with him.
7. What's your best piece of advice for a new working mom? Enjoy your time away from your DC. I miss him like crazy, but I like being in an environment where I get to use the degree I worked so hard to achieve and get to be someone else other than "Mommy".
8. What's the cutest thing your kid has done/said recently? Pictures if you have them! Lately he's been very concerned about his lovey's welfare. On the way to daycare, if the car is still a little cold, he'll ask for a blanket "to keep my Guy (his name for it) warm". At bedtime, he'll tuck it under his blanket saying, "I keep my Guy snuggled up." Love it!
TTC #1- unexplained...lost left ovary 4/07 IUI #1 2/10/09-BFN IUI #2 3/5/09-BFN IVF # 1-BFP
TTC#2- FET 4/7/11 BFP, Natural mc 5/5/11 IVF#2 ER 9/13/11, ET 9/16/11, Beta #1 9/27/11 BFP 254 Beta #2 9/30/11 793 -Twins!
1. What do you think is the best age to have kids and why?
I think age has some importance, but stability as well. I think you should at LEAST be 22, but maybe an ideal age somewhere between 22-28. I would say that if you are between 22 and 28 you should be in a committed relationship, or married. Having your own place is a plus. Why for all this? Because some sort of stability is key. Even if your not on the top of the mountain financially, that doesn't mean you can't figure out how to make it work. Sometimes there wont be a "perfect" time, so you have to work with what you have.
2. What is the best number of kids to have?
2 kids.
3. How do you deal with other people imposing their mothering opinions on you?
They really haven't done that much at all, which is good. I'm pretty impressed with my mothering skills considering this is my first, but I will take everything with a consideration and a grain of salt if need be.
4. Do you think it is important for your kids to have a close relationship with their extended family?
I really do.
5. If you had the opportunity to guarantee the sex of your next child (say you really want a girl), would you do it?
I would. If you were going to have a set number of kids (more than one) it would be neat if you could pick one of the sexes, but not all.
6. How do you cope with the hardest part of being a working mom?
Walking out the door sometimes upsets DS, and that makes me sad to leave. But in the end, I know keeping food on the table and keeping a roof over his head is very important. I wish I could be part time, but i can't afford it.
7. What's your best piece of advice for a new working mom?
One of your priorities to your child(ren) is to provide a home and food for them. Its a top priority, and even though you might have mixed feelings, you're doing a great thing for them.
8. What's the cutest thing your kid has done/said recently? Pictures if you have them!
DS is only 15 months, so he doesn't say all that much yet. We tried to tell him the Christmas tree was "hot" so he wouldn't touch it, now hes calling "everything" hot. The dog, the snow, the tree, DH, etc etc!!