TTC After a Loss

My new Christmas plans-selfish or necessary?

We were going to go to ILs in the AM for presents + breakfast, then to my parents for presents + more breakfast, then back to the ILs for dinner #1, then back to my parents for dinner #2.

MIL just called and instead of early present opening she wants to do it at 11:30/12:00 and just have lunch/early dinner and be done.

So now I'm thinking, would it be wrong for DH and I to just stay home until then, have our own breakfast and open presents here together alone before going out? It sounds so nice and relaxing but I feel guilty since my mom is sick, that I should go over there in the morning and spend as much time as possible with them. We're already ditching both families on Christmas eve to go to DH's boss's birthday party. 

WDYT? Everyone lives relatively close it's about 10 minutes to ILs/parents and they live 2 minutes from each other, so it's not a big deal to do all the driving, just a lot of back and forth. 

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Re: My new Christmas plans-selfish or necessary?

  • I would stay home and deal with everything later in the day.  That is how we do it, and it is just so much more relaxing.  I understand where you are coming from about wanting to spend time with your Mom, that is a tough call.  Talk to your Mom about it and see what she says.  If it means a lot to her, then that will answer your question.

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  • imageRawr08:

    I would stay home and deal with everything later in the day.  That is how we do it, and it is just so much more relaxing.  I understand where you are coming from about wanting to spend time with your Mom, that is a tough call.  Talk to your Mom about it and see what she says.  If it means a lot to her, then that will answer your question.

    This, good answer!Yes

  • imageshelshel79:
    imageRawr08:

    I would stay home and deal with everything later in the day.  That is how we do it, and it is just so much more relaxing.  I understand where you are coming from about wanting to spend time with your Mom, that is a tough call.  Talk to your Mom about it and see what she says.  If it means a lot to her, then that will answer your question.

    This, good answer!Yes

    Thanks. If I ask, my mom will not say it bothers her, even if it does. She's just like that.

    I see my mom all the time as it is, so I don't feel that guilty for missing a few hours. I had lunch with her today and Tuesday, and we go to dinner at their house nearly every Sunday, so it's not like we don't see them. It would just be missing the whole Chirstmas morning experience with them, which kind of sucks since they actually get us stuff and ILs do not. 

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  • imageRawr08:

    I would stay home and deal with everything later in the day.  That is how we do it, and it is just so much more relaxing.  I understand where you are coming from about wanting to spend time with your Mom, that is a tough call.  Talk to your Mom about it and see what she says.  If it means a lot to her, then that will answer your question.

    Yes

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  • I don't think you are wrong for wanting to stay home. I'd go to my parents house because that's just what we always do.
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  • I don't think you are wrong to want to stay home, although I can understand feeling guilty about it.  DH, DD and I just open presents at home - even if DD wasn't here we would do that.  It's nice and relaxing.  Then we will go to my parents for brunch and presents and then to DH's aunt's for dinner and the evening.  I don't think there is anything wrong with taking some time for just the two of you. 
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  • Thanks for the advice ladies, after thinking about it and talking to my mom, I decided to go to my parents for breakfast/presents, then ILs for lunch, then dinner with my parents. It just means so much to my mom I didn't have the heart to tell her we weren't going to open presents with everyone. And at least there are no LOs in either family, other than my niece and nephew but they live in Hawaii and won't be coming, so the youngest kid is almost 9. At least I don't have to deal with babies.

    I feel so bad for those of you that have to be around babies and pregnant bellies, that has to be rough. 

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