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Multiples
I need some advice (MIL-related)
I'm going to try to make this as short as possible.
Quick background: MH's mom lives about 40 min. away, and is single. I've never been her biggest fan (just don't really love her personality) but have always been friendly. In fact, I'm usually the one saying, "We haven't seen your mom in awhile, we should get together with her," and not MH (they just aren't super close).
Since I got pregnant, she's been over-the-top pushy (lots of "This is what I did when I had children,") and trying to tell me how to do things, etc. She's very passive aggressive, and does this gross sugary-sweet voice with everything, so she thinks it makes her sound better...if that makes sense. Some recent incidents include telling me I shouldn't cloth diaper because I'm going to be overwhelmed enough as it is, telling my mom that she's concerned about MH's and my relationship (because we're going to be so overwhelmed with the babies), telling my mom that she should try to convince me to hire a mother's helper (I'm a SAHM), and then last week, the icing on the cake: She referred to my IVF babies as ARTIFICIAL.
That was the last straw. I confronted her about it (perfectly calmly, I made myself wait a few days) and informed her of the correct terminology and explained that it hurt my feelings. She tried to backtrack and pretend she didn't say it, blah blah blah.
Last night she called MH to tell him that she thinks I don't like her, that I don't trust her with the babies, and that the babies will not get to know her or spend time with her because we don't let her spend enough time with them. We (and the babies) see her every other week, for at least 4-6 hours at a time. I have never left her alone with them (but I haven't left anyone alone with them...why do I have to do this if I'm not comfortable?). I dont' invite her to spend days during the week with me (she works part-time) because I really don't need the help...sometimes having someone here is just more work than it is help.
I'm just so frustrated. How would you respond to this? I have to see her this weekend, and can't pretend that nothing's going on. What would you do???
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Re: I need some advice (MIL-related)
I have a similar situation w/ my MIL. My MIL swears i dont like her an di dont trust her and does the same BS about us not seeing her.
My MIL has said numerous things that have gotten under my skin but to keep the peace... but if she ever said anything about my LOs i would loose it so you are better than me!
I personally think either you need to clear the air. i have bee letting my sour realtionship sit too long with my MIL and now i cant figure out how to fix it.
As far as leaving the LOs with her. She sounds like my MIL. Difference is i WILL NOT leave my LOs with MIL bc she has that COPD and cant go more than 3 hours w/ o needing a nap. Physically she cant be trusted and DH and i think she is starting to get alhzimers (sp?) so we dont trust her for an hour! Only 2 people watch the LOs. My mother (who raised my twin brothers) and my good friend who was the LOs DCP.
GL... MIL that are crazy suck!
I havnt had my twins yet, but my MIL is VERY similar to this! I am curious to see how people answer this question for you. Mine is very sensitive and dependent on others.....if I dont entertain and talk to her the ENTIRE time she is even close to me she thinks I dont like her and cries to my FIL, who then tells my husband, who complains to me that I didnt talk to her enough! Makes everything SO awkward!
Anyway, would your husband help in saying something to her...since they arent as close? Just about how you guys are doing great and really dont need the help most of the time. But If you ever do, you will give her a call. Do you feel like she is just jealous that your mother gets to watch them? My husband wouldnt say anything to her if I wanted him to.....he's a mommas boy, and all his brothers live out of state so he feels like he has to go the extra mile with her! Maybe yours will....