- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
2nd Trimester
Freaking out
I haven't posted here before, but I am so completely stressed out, I have no idea what I'm going to do. It may not seem like a big deal to some people, but it's very important to me...We moved a little over a year ago from northern ab to vancouver, and it was a struggle at first but now we're starting to do a little bit better. We're supposed to be leaving tomorrow for the last trip back home before baby comes, and now all of a sudden my boyfriend doesn't want to go. We have all of our gifts bought and ready to go, everything was planned, my family is even throwing a baby shower for me while I'm going to be there...he says he doesn't want to drive that far and he would rather stay home and save the money...he says i should just fly up there and he can stay home. It costs the same for me to fly by myself as it would for me and him to drive up there together...I can't drive there by myself, it's too far (16 hours) and through the mountains..this is our last christmas together with our families before the baby comes and it was going to be special...we're getting family pictures done in ab as well..I just have no idea what to do, I don't want to leave him, I want to be with him during the holidays ..I just feel so completely depressed because I have a feeling I'm going to miss holidays with our families...does anyone have any thoughts on what they would do in situation such as this? I have no idea how I'm going to handle this next week at all...
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Freaking out
He's being a douche. How are you supposed to find a flight 2 days before Chirstmas? And does he have any idea how much more that would cost? He needs to man up and stick to the original plan.
What the hell is wrong with him?! I couldn't even IMAGINE my DH pulling a stunt like that. You have baby shower plans, holiday plans and photo plans with your family. You cannot back out the day before.
Why would he put this kind of stress on his pregnant gf? I am going to guess this isn't the first time he pulled a stunt like this? What a child. I'd consider booking a one-way flight and I don't say things like that lightly.
This. How exactly are you suppose to raise a child when your boyfriend is still a child himself. It's no longer all about him.
Booking a flight now is going to cost so much more than driving there, and I won't be able to bring back almost anything from the baby shower...I don't make a ton of money, so I can only afford to buy so much for the baby, so I really needed this shower. His family is counting down the days until they get to see him again...we've only been home once since we moved here last november...he used to get like this somestimes, but we broke up just before we found out about peanut because he had his issues, but begged me to take him back, he realized everything that he was doing wrong, he would change, and after a few months of holding him off, I did finally take him back. And he did change for a while, but this...this just feels like the old him...only thinking about himself....not about me, our baby, or our families...I even had a hotel booked halfway there, so we could spread out the driving, 8 hours one day, sleep, and then finish the trip the next day...I don't understand what the hell he is thinking...the stress of this situation is so painful...I'm trying to calm down for the baby, I don't want anything to happen to my little guy...his dad is being such a d*ck, and this has ruined my holidays completely..
It feels like you have learned the hard way...that people don't really change. He is a total douche.
Find a way to go without him. And seriously consider not coming back or when you do to move on.
My DF and I would never treat eachother like that. DF's immediate family lives in Michigan and his children live in Washington. We are pretty much in the middle of both of them.
We consiously made the decision that being in Minnesota (the middle of everyone) is what works best for everyone involved and is what is financially more stable and secure for us and our immediate family. With that, we also understand there comes a need to make every effort to see and spend time with his family when we can and to have his children during the summer and long breaks. Its a sacrifice at times ecspecially financially to figure it all out but it is what needs to be done. He needs to just suck it up and not be son inconsiderate and selfish. My guess is he will end up going, he is just being a baby about it for some reason right now.
i am just sitting here thinking about you! are you okay? is there someone who could come and take you out for lunch or something! stress isnt good for you let alone the babe and your BF needs to man up! i would be livid! you need to see your family and have that baby shower! if he doesnt understand that maybe you should really consider your future with him! find a way to get home and stay a while! you need to feel safe and happy! please let me know if there is anything i can do... if you need help looking into flights or wtv!!! try and see a friend or something today and have a good chat about the whole thing!
i am sooo sorry he is being such a loser!
That's terrible! He's being incredibly selfish and he needs to man up and go with you. It makes no sense that he made a comment about 'saving money and staying home' if it would cost so much more for you to book a flight by yourself... it's the holidays and he should want nothing more than to spend them with you and your families... especially since it will be the last Christmas before the baby comes.
If I were in your situation, I would let him know how serious the whole situation really is and how upset and stressed he is making you. I would also find a way to make the trip- and if it was without him I would seriously consider not coming back. If he's pulling stuff like this now, what is it going to be like after the baby is born? You would be better off having the support of your family- and his- than dealing with the lack of support he is giving you.
Good luck! I hope everything works out okay. =(
I hate ultimatums but I'm agreeing here. I would tell him you're going and if he really sends you alone, he should be prepared for you not coming back. I can understand that he is dreading the trip. 16 hours driving sounds miserable but he is taking it too far. Telling you to go alone, that's not good. The fact he is willing to spend the holidays without you...is really not good. He is texting asking what is wrong...are you sure he isn't just venting? Maybe completely annoyed and overwhelmed with the long trek you have ahead of you? He should want to see his family, he should want to go even if the trip there is hard to make.
Don't miss this time with your family. Find a way to go...with or without him.