When to tell parents?

mrsdrmorgan · December 2010

DH & I are trying to decide when to tell our parents/siblings that we're expecting, and we're having trouble.

Right now I'm 4w4d, and I had always planned on waiting until I have my first appointment to tell anyone, but I called the doctors and they don't want to see me until Jan 31st (just over 10 weeks) My parents are leaving for a month long vacation on the 20th of January, and I really don't want to tell them over the phone. I asked if they could move my appointment up, but they said that they don't see patients before 10 weeks.

So I guess I have a few options:

1) Tell them before they leave (even though I haven't been to the doctor to confirm the pregnancy)
2) Wait until they come back (I'll be 13 weeks - I don't know if I can wait this long!)
3) Fly down for the weekend after my appointment (DH's idea - I think it's a little overkill)
4) Tell them now (my thought here is that if I'm going to tell them before my appointment, then why not tell them now)

What would you do?

magdalina.h · December 2010

With your circumstance, I would tell them now.

J9melissa · December 2010

magdalina.h:
With your circumstance, I would tell them now.

I agree with Maggie

Bride7-14-07 · December 2010

J9melissa:
magdalina.h:
With your circumstance, I would tell them now.
I agree with Maggie

I agree with Maggie and Melissa. :-)

gizmo909 · December 2010

I think it's a completely personal decision that depends on who all you would want knowing God forbid something happened.

With that being said, personally, I'd tell. We told family on Christmas day with DS (I was about 4 weeks) and we will tell them about LO2 this Christmas as well (I'll be 4 weeks 3 days). Also given your personal circumstances, I'd tell now because I wouldn't want to tell over the phone.

IndyPRGirl · December 2010

Based on what you've said here, I would tell them now. If, God forbid, anything should happen, you will want their support presumably.

We told our families right away and the rest of the world at 12 weeks.

SusieDMB · December 2010

We waited until after our first appointment when we heard the heartbeat. Granted our situation was a little different since we weren't married yet and knew it would be a shock. I personally didn't want to get my parents all excited until we knew everything was going okay. But, our family is local and we see them often.

lemen99 · December 2010

IndyPRGirl:
Based on what you've said here, I would tell them now. If, God forbid, anything should happen, you will want their support presumably.
We told our families right away and the rest of the world at 12 weeks.

ditto!

MommaMcG · December 2010

We told everyone at Thanksgiving, and I was less than 4 weeks. We figured that if something did happen, we'd want their support anyway. I'd tell them now.

irishbeffo · December 2010

We told our parents at 5 weeks, with the intention of waiting to tell everyone else after the first appointment at 10 weeks (DH can't keep a secret for anything...).

I will say, if you want to wait til after your appointment for others to know, definitely tell your family that when you tell them... we neglected to mention that (in the moment) and within 2 minutes my sister had it on facebook! I don't know that my mom could have kept it a secret that long anyway... she still tells anyone who will listen! Stick out tongue

ukannie · December 2010

I told my parents and sisters at 5 weeks. We told Jake's family at 11 weeks on Thanksgiving. But I'm super close with my family and wanted them to know incase anything happened again.

I would pick option 4.

kellywolf88 · December 2010

We told everyone as soon as we found out. I was about 6 weeks. I wanted to wait, but before we could really even talk about it DH was calling everyone he knew. It made me a nervous wreck, but I thought that if something went wrong I would need the support. I say go for it! What a great Christmas present!!!