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need help with behavior...

sara1014sara1014
in Multiples

I haven't posted in AGES as I've been kinda busy...moving with toddlers, etc....

We've been having some undesirable behaviors in our house.  M finds it REALLY funny to hit H on the head or where ever with whatever he may be holding...or his hands.  H likes to hit M (though she at least always waits until he provokes her in some way).  M has also taken to *some* biting...but that's nowhere near as frequent.

Those of you who have been here before...how do I make timeouts work at this age?  Or will they even work?  What else can I do to let them know that this is NOT ok?  Today while I was cooking dinner, M whacked H super hard in the head with a maraca.  Screaming ensued and things just went downhill from there.

I feel so outnumbered and overwhelmed dealing with this.  It seems to be an endless battle...and it hasn't even been going on that long.  I also feel like I"m failing in this department.  I teach middle school for crying out loud!  I can handle 23 7th graders in one room but not my own 2 toddlers???  

 

 

Thanks for ANY advice or even resources I could look into.  :) 

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Re: need help with behavior...

  • Temp159135562506975Temp159135562506975 member

    it's a tough age - they don't understand ENOUGH but can do so much!

    when my boys hit - i just say "NO HITTING... be GEEENNNNTLLLE" and show them how to be gentle (basically, petting the spot they just hit).

    Gibby is getting better with it - he likes being "geeennnntle" now.  Gray is still a work in progress- but his hitting JUST started while Gibby has been doing it for a couple months.

    I then give the one crying more attention - hugging, etc.... so they learn that hitting doesn't get you much attention- and only gives it to the other one :)

     

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  • DEPDEP
    It's always harder to see things clearly when you are in it!  I give a forceful "no" with eye contact, and then I separate the one that's misbehaving into our gated playroom and keep the other with me/comfort them.  I think the key thing is that you remove them from the situation/distract them away from the misbehavior;  a modified time out sort of!
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  • sara1014sara1014

    Thanks.  I've been removing the offending twin from the "fun" and comforting the other.  And we've been doing a lot of "be nice" "be gentle" especially when the dog is the victim - poor thing.  

    I'm so amazed at how quickly we entered this phase!  It seems like just yesterday all they wanted to do was give kisses.  Sigh. 

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  • nolachick11nolachick11 member
    Hey! Mine already "fight"over toys.  They have been doing this for about 2 months now. I also do the strong "NO" and say gentle and tell them to share....but I feel they are way to young to understand what share is, lol!!  DD also when she doesn't get her way, likes to throw her self or her head on the ground and cry...or pretend cry.  I have no idea how she knows how to act like that already. And I also don't know how to correct that behavior?  DH and I are very calm people too. She has a mind of her own. 
    Lilypie Third Birthday tickers
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  • lgurianlgurian

    i say "X behavior is not acceptable for Y reason, if you continue to do X then mommy will take away the toy for misuse." and i take the the toy away if they do it again. if they keep repeating the undesired action i give them a time out. a lot of people say they "dont understand at this age" but mine do. if we get to that point i will say it is time for a time out, and they will go to the time out corner on their own (they wont stay there on their own, but they certainly understand whats happening). redirecting doesnt work around here, it just becomes a game to them.  i dont like to console the victim too much because i dont want them to play up being the victim. so i make sure they are ok and then just play with them as if nothing happened (got this idea from the TWINS mag child psych book). obviously it is all very complicated because all of our children are different and will act/react differently. it is very frustrating for me because they seem to do things in spurts, like they are testing me to make sure i react the same way each time (at least thats how it seems to me). but now i say to them what i said above if i head toward them they scatter off. so at least they KNOW what they are/arent supposed to be doing. i guess its a start. GL to us all!

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  • sara1014sara1014

    imagenolachick11:
    Hey! Mine already "fight"over toys.  They have been doing this for about 2 months now. I also do the strong "NO" and say gentle and tell them to share....but I feel they are way to young to understand what share is, lol!!  DD also when she doesn't get her way, likes to throw her self or her head on the ground and cry...or pretend cry.  I have no idea how she knows how to act like that already. And I also don't know how to correct that behavior?  DH and I are very calm people too. She has a mind of her own. 

    YES.  H is such a drama queen.  She used to throw her head back...then did it once on the kitchen tile...now she sloooowly lowers herself down while fake crying.  It's actually kind of funny.  

     

    NO clue how they've learned this stuff.  It's amazing. 

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