I have failed at the first birthday party

livvielo · December 2010

Her birthday is next Friday and there is no party planned. I can't find a space in our town that doesn't cost an arm and a leg, and "entertainment" also costs a lot. We're talking $300-500 for spaces and/or entertainment, and we have to provide all the food, etc.

I am not that mom who has her theme all together and her gift bags and themed invitations in order. I am the mom who is overwhelmed with work and everything else and who is now stressed to the LIMIT to try to plan a party with little notice to guests (so who knows how many could come). I kind of just want to have cake with M and her dad on her bday and celebrate it ourselves, you know? But I feel the pressure--yes, it's starting this early!--to have a party and invite all her little friends just like all her little friends moms' have done.

Something that should be a happy occasion has now turned into one filled with stress and anxiety. It's my own fault, but geez.

snwfields · December 2010

Don't feel bad. It's her 1st birthday! If you want to have it just the three of you then do it! She won't remember and certainly won't be upset that her friends aren't there. Take a few pictures, let her eat cake and enjoy!

daisydana · December 2010

No, you haven't failed. Really! If it makes you feel any better, we aren't doing any more than lunch and cake here at the house. It will just be a couple of close family members. Probably eight people TOTAL. I haven't ordered the cake yet and we aren't doing a theme. She likes Elmo, so I will get her an Elmo cake.

I suppose the difference is that Sydney doesn't have any little friends. I would probably feel the pressure if I were in your shoes and all the other (daycare?) Mommies were doing big theme parties. But know that they all did the same because of the pressure and they will probably be secretly jealous that you aren't doing what they did

superaunt · December 2010

I hear you. Loud and clear. That's why I'm glad we went with a pizza party on New Year's Day. It's not the cheapest route but with 50ish people coming, there was no other choice but to do it out of our home. And I just don't have the time or energy to do all the set up, cooking, clean up, etc myself to go cheaper than pizza. So we booked a room at a pizza joint and EVERYONE is coming. There will be a shitton of different pizza's to choose from- and pop. That's it. And then cake will be a big sheet cake from Costco. No decorations other than the restaurants. No party favors. No goodie bags. No entertainment. Very little children in fact- the 50ish who are coming are ALL family and I think of that amount there are a total of 3 under 5 who will be there.

I'm very nervous as to how it will all play out because DH's side tends to show up extremely late to things and we have the room from 3-5. So with eating and late guests and that many guests and a 1 year old... not sure how opening gifts will work out but what happens happens.

I'm looking more forward to her actual birthday- one week from today. It'll just be me, her dad, and her. Dinner, cake, singing, presents, playing, tons of hugs and kisses. I'm so excited for that because that's what it's about to me... the three of us. Our little family celebrating our little sweet girl's 1st birthday.

peeper72 · December 2010

Oh gosh, go easy on yourself!!

We had a cake at our house and a few people came over. It was a big deal to us, but celebrated simply. There was so much love for that baby in our tiny apartment that I get teary just thinking about it.

Remember the golden rule: keep it simple. It'll still be great!

superaunt · December 2010

... and now I'm crying. I'M SUCH A WRECK THESE DAYS!!!

Piranha54 · December 2010

We decided to have a little party for Ellie rather at the last minute, other than the family cake we did at Thanksgiving, and did it at a local pizza place that is extremely kid friendly. We invited 4 families, I ordered cupcakes and brought them, and we ordered several pizzas and salads for the table and it was fun and easy and yummy! Oh, and a beer or two for mom!!! Ellie was a happy camper until it was time to go - the siggy picture with Fiona. Success. Oh, and leftovers for dinner the next night too, woowoo. Do what you want to do! We didn't even attempt to have her open her presents at the party. GL

BrideBuddies · December 2010

There is no way in HECK I would go crazy on a first birthday party.. especially during the crazy holiday season already. $500 just to rent a room.. no fricken way. We had a cake and invited local family and a few neighbors and a handful of friends.. that's it. No pony rides. No clowns.

Cake with immediate family is PLENTY. It's a baby's birthday party for goodness sake.. .not graduation or a wedding!!!! I've always maintained that celebrations like this are WAY more important to the parents than anyone else...except for maybe grandparents.

livvielo · December 2010

Ladies, thank you! You make me feel much better and slightly more sane.

What do you think of inviting (last minute!) people over on New Year's Day for cupcakes and a glass of champagne, open-house style? Super small, no pressure, simple.

Piranha54 · December 2010

livvielo:

Ladies, thank you! You make me feel much better and slightly more sane.

What do you think of inviting (last minute!) people over on New Year's Day for cupcakes and a glass of champagne, open-house style? Super small, no pressure, simple.

Love it. I'd come!

daisydana · December 2010

That is a great idea!!! But you must pinky swear not to add it because you start to over think it. Cupcakes and champagne.... YUM! Can I come?

dkays · December 2010

livvielo:

Ladies, thank you! You make me feel much better and slightly more sane.

What do you think of inviting (last minute!) people over on New Year's Day for cupcakes and a glass of champagne, open-house style? Super small, no pressure, simple.

I think this is a wonderful idea.

FWIW, Teagan's birthday is two weeks from today and the only thing I have committed to is the cake. Her sitter makes wonderful theme cakes so she volunteered to make a Ladybug cake. We will just do some thing small at the house with our family, Grandparents and her aunts.

Secretly, I have been hoping that if I don't plan anything then she won't turn 1 because I'm not ready.

KirstieC · December 2010

livvielo:
Ladies, thank you! You make me feel much better and slightly more sane.
What do you think of inviting (last minute!) people over on New Year's Day for cupcakes and a glass of champagne, open-house style? Super small, no pressure, simple.

Perfection!!! Do it!

YaraC · December 2010

Don't feel bad at all. No way should you be putting out a lot of money. We are just having something simple at our house. I have several friends with babies around Caroline's who we invited and family members. The only family member we expect to show is my mom. Food will be from Costco and there is no theme other than it's Caroline's birthday.

Other than invitations I have done nothing as far as planning.

YaraC · December 2010

livvielo:
Ladies, thank you! You make me feel much better and slightly more sane.
What do you think of inviting (last minute!) people over on New Year's Day for cupcakes and a glass of champagne, open-house style? Super small, no pressure, simple.

You had me at champagne, what time should I be there? j/k That sounds perfect.

vanverth · December 2010

Sounds perfect. The party is about her, not all the craziness you can inject into it. Martha went to prison for doing way too much (Stewart that is. But I heard from clients who were in prison with her that she sends the nicest Christmas Cards.)

Pesky · December 2010

Hon, there is no failure here. Realize that for her, all she wants is you guys. She has no idea it is her birthday. Here's how my two had their first bdays:

* DD: we had some neighbors and family over for a BBQ. She got a cake. That was about it. We had an even smaller GTG for her 2nd bday because I had just gotten home with a newborn DS.

* DS: It was us, the ILs (who were in town) and that was IT. We had an ordinary dinner and he got a little cake. I didn't even bother with cake for the rest of us because most preferred ice cream.

Neither of my kids seem scarred for life. Just because you aren't going to excess does not mean you are a failure. I often remember fondly the smaller and more intimate family GTGs more than the big blowouts.

ETA: and the cupcake and champagne idea is great! You might want to consider limiting the hours a bit unless you want the doorbell ringing during naptime. Other than that, go for it!

mtnrider · December 2010

livvielo:

I kind of just want to have cake with M and her dad on her bday and celebrate it ourselves, you know? But I feel the pressure--yes, it's starting this early!--to have a party and invite all her little friends just like all her little friends moms' have done.

I did the big party, tons of people, lots of baking, decorations up the wazoo, weeks of planning, etc. and it was a bust because Simon got sick and slept through most of his party, then he was fussy and clingy and wouldn't play with the kids, wouldn't touch his smash cake...total party-pooper! In hindsight I wish I had just done a little private party. Party!!!

fiazo · December 2010

I hear ya. With the holidays it's got to be impossible to find a place. Can you put it off til mid-January if you go that route?

I also procrastinated throwing her a party. It was because I didn't know if I should do like everyone else did & have it at a restaurant or hall or do low key. Eventually I decided to do immediate family only, being about 15 people. We had it at a lake & half hour into it, it DOWNPOURED for a couple of hours straight. It was a disaster, soaked to our underwear. Maybe we;ll throw her something bigger for her 2nd, when she'll at least know what's going on & be able to particiapate.

lasirene · December 2010

livvielo:
Ladies, thank you! You make me feel much better and slightly more sane.
What do you think of inviting (last minute!) people over on New Year's Day for cupcakes and a glass of champagne, open-house style? Super small, no pressure, simple.

I am a sometimes lurker over here (but I should probably join you since I am 35!) and I wanted to let you know that a friend of mine just did this the other day for her little girl's 1st birthday and it was great! We all had a really nice time and the babies all got to play and eat some cupcake. I think that it's a really good plan and super low-key!

leffe1 · December 2010

Please don't stress about this. It SHOULD be a fun occasion. We kept ours simple. We only had close relatives, good food, some balloons and a cake. I figure there will be lots of bigger parties in her future with friends. Good luck with whatever you choose!

ateytelb · December 2010

Tske it easy. We just had a couple of friends and family members with their kids of different ages over at our house for Jason's 1st, 2d, and 3d birthdays. Did the cake, took pictures. Jason didn't care.