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D.C. Area Babies
confession
I want to bf polliwog when he arrives, of course, but after reading all of the posts about pumping and having to change diet b/s of LO's allergies, and eating oatmeal to keep supply up (oatmeal makes me gag), I don't know that I will have the emotioanl strength to fight to bf post-maternity leave, or if there are challenges.
I feel like this pregnancy has just been so tough with the GD and bedrest, that I just can't give anymore. I'm sure once he's here, my capacity for self-sacrifice will renew, but right now I'm kind of getting to the end of it.
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Re: confession
If a formula-fed baby is allergic to cow milk and soy, they have to drink expensive hypoallergenic formula, so it's not like that's a great solution either.
If you want to try BFing, get a tube of lanolin cream (the most common brand is Lansinoh - it comes it a purple package). It's essential for when you're sore at the beginning. Also get a box of nursing pads (for leaking) - I also like Lansinoh brand for those.
I was totally baffled postpartum that I spent all that time on childbirth classes when giving birth was over in a matter of hours, and not enough time on feeding the kid, which happens every 2-3 hours for weeks.
You will do the best you can and make the decision that's right for you and your family. Hopefully everything will go smoothly with BF! I'd budget for an LC appt or two your first week postpartum - that was very helpful for me.
You do what you gotta do. I wanted to bf and made it a very high priority. It was a ton of work, but I am so proud of myself for doing it. But, formula isn't rat poison and it's not necessarily an all or nothing situation.
That being said, IMO, bfing is like natural childbirth (which I didn't experience, so those that did can kick me if I'm out of line). If you really, really want to succeed, I think you have to do a lot of preparation and work and go into it with a certain mindset of "This Is What I Am Going To Do". If you go in all wishy-washy and not committed, you're more likely to reach for the formula.
Again, my opinion. I'm a big bfing supporter but I certainly don't judge those that ff. At all. You do what you gotta do. Bfing does not make me a better mother and I did not win any awards for it, but it's something I was really glad to do for C.
The harsh reality of motherhood is that there are a lot harder things you'll deal with than how you choose to feed your baby. Every baby is different and you may have one that takes easily to BF'ing, you may never deal with supply issues, or you may end up with reflux, allergies, or any other numerous issues. You will find the strength to give your baby whatever he needs because that's just what we do. Your pregnancy issues will pale in comparison to sleep deprivation or the first time your baby gets sick. Try not to overthink it but prepare yourself as much as possible like pp's said by having lanolin, nursing pads, cooling pads (for soreness in the hospital), etc if you truly want to commit to BF'ing.
For me personally, BF'ing was something I was extremely fortunate to not have to even think about, it was easy and convenient. I never dealt with supply or allergy issues. I can't imagine having to get up in the middle of the night to make a bottle when I could just roll over and nurse. There are enough things to remember to pack up when leaving the house, I was glad I didn't have to think about how much formula I might need.
Good Luck!
TTC #1 Cycle 14 - IUI#1=BFN, IUI#2=BFP | TTC #2 Cycle 8=BFP!!
This is really good to know ahead of time! I agree with the PP's to remind yourself that it gets easier. I never loved BF'ing because my DD wasn't great at it. I chose to stop around 6.5 months EBF'ing and at 10 months BF'ing in the morning and evening. At the beginning, I was surprised to find:
1. Just how much it hurt.
2. How hard it was to learn techniques (it didn't come naturally for us).
3. How tied I was to the baby and how much time I spent nursing.
4. How quickly all of that changed! Nursing times really get shorter, baby gets better, baby isn't so floppy so it isn't hard to get them in position, the pain goes away, and you start feeling more confident.
5. Pumping was not fun, but it also wasn't terrible. Like I said, in the evenings I hooked myself up in front of the TV. Other friends used the time for quiet "them" time on the computer, watching TV, etc. At work I used it to surf the net and avoid getting bombarded by colleague's requests. You can use it to your advantage.
And, to echo what everyone else said, don't beat yourself up either way you decide. Your baby will be healthy, happy, and be lucky to have such a great mom.
I sorta felt this way before DD was here. I was shocked that women gave up dairy for their LOs. And here I am now having given up dairy - and you know, it hasn't been that bad.
I was committed to BF (or pumping as it turns out) until I went back to work. And then it was just going to be a day-by-day thing. Turns out that I have major oversupply (not such a bad thing) and I only need to pump in the morning before work and in the evening after, so coming back to work hasn't been a big deal. My new goal is 6 months, but if I don't make it, that's OK too.
I will say that the first 8 weeks were HARD. It was painful, DD didn't latch well (so we ended up doing mostly bottles) and I had to pump even when DD was nursing because she didn't get enough from nursing. For some reason I didn't really consider giving it up then though. If you had asked me before having DD, I think I would have expected that I would have given up at that point. After 8 weeks, the pain just sort of disappeared.
**And my confession -- the weight loss aspect of BFing certainly didn't hurt with my motivation to keep going.
Hopefully you'll have an easy time with BFing. I went into it knowing that a few friends had to cut out dairy, and pretty much expected to have to do it. It sucked for a while, but it was just one of the things I did to get through the day. I went through weeks of pumping even though we were FFing to figure out what worked best with DD's issues, and even though I could have just decided to FF, I felt so guilty over the idea of not pumping in case that worked out to be the better option in the end. I think it's the guilt that really got me through the first month or two, even when I was drained by everything else. Not that I wish that for you, but it's strange to see in retrospect that some hard things seemed like the better option because I made myself feel too bad to do the easier thing.
This completely describes my relationship with breastfeeding the first month. I told DH a million times I wanted to do formula, but then I felt guilty (not because of anything he did, just myself!). I'm not saying this is a good thing - but I'm glad it got me through.
That being said, I had supply issues from 3 months on and finally stopped at 6 months because the stress over my supply was killing me actually enjoying DS. Stopping bfing caused so many tears, which I thought was hillarious considering how much I hated it at first. But I really grew to love it and love that connection with DS. Even pumping at work helped me feel connected to him somehow. But you know what? We went to formula and that connection was still there, he was still thriving, etc.
Whatever you do you will be a great mom. When I was so uncertain about things and even when we had to go to formula, my husband continually repeated to me: "What's the most important thing?" Answer that I had to continually repeat: "Feed the baby!" However you do it.
You've read enough here to know what issues can arise, but please know that not everyone has those issues and hardly anyone has all of them at once. The people with problems breastfeeding are just the ones you're most likely to hear from because they're reaching out for help.
Breastfeeding is one of the most natural things in the world, but if you (like most of us) haven't spent a lot of time seeing breastfeeding in action, doing it will take some prep/education. I took a class at the Breastfeeding Center and read Breastfeeding Made Simple, which is a book the LC there recommended. You can also schedule a pre-natal meeting with an LC there to talk about concerns. (They'll even do a nipple check to see if you're going to run into issues with flat nipples or something like that.)
I was lucky enough to have a baby like the one in the video they show at the Breastfeeding Center -- one who was pretty darn good at finding his way to the nipple once I placed him on my chest skin-to-skin. Even after a c-section and a couple of hours waiting in the recovery area (where I probably could have fed him but didn't really think about trying), he was a great little latcher. He did have some weight gain issues and a bit of jaundice, but overall, we've had a pretty smooth ride. (And I've been quite glad to avoid things like finding a sterlized bottle and mixing up formula in the middle of the night.)
ETA: Having a good, supportive pediatrician also helped for me. For example, some pediatricians would have recommended supplementing when DS wasn't back at his birth weight at two weeks. Our doctor just said to give it another week (and at that follow-up appointment, he was well over his birth weight). Then there's my nephew's pediatrican, who told my SIL that my two-week-old nephew was manipulating her because he wanted to eat so often. (Sigh.)
mssaint - you're using Capitol Medical Group, right? They have a GREAT LC there, Holly, and she was a total lifesaver for me.
BFing never hurt for me, although that could be because J had a hard time latching at first and we had to use a nipple shield. I also never got really engorged, although that might have been because I had supply issues . . . huh.
Anyway, it was tough at first getting the latch/supply issues worked out. There were definitely times that I would cry, but I never wanted to stop. I knew how great BFing was for both of us, and I really wanted to be able to do it for J.
Benefits: I lost all my pregnancy weight! And then some! I'm still down about 10 pounds below my pre-pregnancy weight and I'm only nursing every so often. And BFing relaxes you! Once you get the hang of it it's soothing for both of you. Like pp said, it's easy to just stick the baby on the boob when they're hungry or upset. And, while pumping is a hassle, it's a nice break during the day, and it really helps you feel connected to your baby when you can't be with him.
You're taking great care of your baby right now by making sure he bakes as long as possible. And you'll take great care of him when he's here, whether you BF or FF.
TTC #2: BFP 12/17/11, m/c 1/7/12 and D&C 1/12/12
baby blog/cooking blog
I went with the whole 'I will give it a try but if it does not work I am not going to beat myself up' approach. I know plenty of people who either never tried BFing, tried and it did not go well and plenty of kids who are perfectly healthy being formula fed (including myself).
I tried BFing in the hospital but it became apparent that I had a massive oversupply and DD has a very high palate. We met with the LCs on staff at the hospital and they tried different positions, a shield, pumping first and had recommendations for meeting daily after I got out of the hospital and all sorts of other things that seemed way time consumming on top of everything else involved with an infant. One really nice nurse suggested just pumping and feeding with a bottle so I started at the hospital. And, I did it for 8 months. I never felt like I missed bonding with DD and it also gave DH time with her. It was nice to be able to share those 4am feedings :-)
Everyone knows someone who has had their issues, however I really didn't myself! I really took the approach that I would do as much as I could and then I would stop if I couldn't. It took the pressure off and here I am at the 11 month mark doing well!
I plan to wrap it up here fairly soon-- I have lost about 5-7 lbs. more than my prepregnancy weight but at the same time my body is "done."
GL! Stress has a big impact and the more pressure you put on yourself, the more it may become a self fulfilling prophecy of not being able to continue.
Just wanted to add that right after you give birth you have a massive adrenaline rush - that is what got me through the early days of breastfeeding. I look back now and wonder how I did it - but your hormones are very powerful and will keep you going through the sleep deprivation.