Introduction and Advice on when to start TTC — The Bump
TTC After a Loss

Introduction and Advice on when to start TTC

Hello Ladies,

I've just spent a good amount of time reading through this board and it feels like a wonderful place.  To start, I am sorry for all of your losses. <hugs>

I am here because DH and are seriously considering TTC after our first MC in October.  We had a BFP 9/15/2010 and an U/S on 10/19/10 confirming our loss at 8 wks 4 days.  I had a D&C on 10/27.  I was pretty torn up by it b/c we were very excited to be expecting and the May 2011 due date was going to be perfect for me since I am a teacher but do not currently have a permanent position.  DH and I just moved to Chicago in August and I have only been subbing - so a 5/11 due date would allow me to look for a job for the next school year and stay at home for 3 mo. after DB was born.  Now I am having a hard time deciding when to start TTC. 

AF just came for the first time since August this weekend and it has gotten me obsessed about the possibility of being able to TTC.  But, the decision is harder this time b/c it means I wouldn't be able to start a new teaching job since I would be due in the fall.  The options are to TTC as soon as possible and be a SAHM for atleast the first year, or wait to see if I can find a full-time job.  It is something DH and I are seriously discussing, but I think I'm leaning toward the idea of TTC.  Why does this have to be so hard?

I look forward to hearing from and talking with all of you :)

Re: Introduction and Advice on when to start TTC

  • TTCAL is a hard decision to make, only you and DH will know for sure when you are ready.  I am so sorry for your loss, welcome to the board.
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    TTC #1 since 6.10
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  • If it were me, I would TTC as soon as you are emotionally ready to be pregnant again, which it sounds like you are.  You never know how long it might take and as we all know now, we are not in control of anything!  We cannot plan our families as much as we priorly may have thought we could. 

    As for being a SAHM for the first year, if that is really an option for you, I say go for it!  I work part-time from home and get ot be home with DS full time.  It is amazing!   

    G/L with your decision! 

     

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  • I got pregnant in May, miscarried at 7.5 weeks, got my period in 6 weeks and then got pregnant on that cycle. So far I'm 16 weeks and I'm praying the pregnancy  goes well. My doctors say it is looking great so far.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • Your story sounds exactly like mine. I am a teacher without a permanent position yet too. I've been subbing and interviewing for a few years now, and the district I'm in is just not hiring. Well, nobody else is really hiring anywhere else either.

    I recently had the same thoughts with a September due date coming up. I talked to one of the principals that I'm close with and asked her about the upcoming school year and what it looked like. She said that she was pretty sure they wouldn't be hiring anyone, maybe 1 or 2 if they're lucky to get money.

    I have been waiting for a job for a long time now, so the thought of them hiring me and having to take the first weeks off really bothered me.

    I finally came to the realization that we want a baby so badly, everything else can wait.

    I hope you and your DH can come up with something that works with you.


    BFP#1 {Cashew} - 9.19.09 EDD 5.26.10
    The day you first lay in my arms, you made my life complete.
    Aurora Rose born sleeping at 35w on 4-21-10
    BFP#2 {Almond} - 2.1.11 EDD 10.12.11 C/P 2.11.11

  • Im so sorry for your loss {{{HUGS}}}

    Welcome to the board. All the ladies here are very supportive and give great advice.

     

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers ANGELS ARE GIVEN WINGS AND TAKEN BACK TOO SOON --- We love and miss you soo much Kacie Rae --- 9/11/10 --- born sleeping at 29wks2d
  • image scvaldez:
    I got pregnant in May, miscarried at 7.5 weeks, got my period in 6 weeks and then got pregnant on that cycle. So far I'm 16 weeks and I'm praying the pregnancy  goes well. My doctors say it is looking great so far.

    Um??? Huh?


    BFP#1 {Cashew} - 9.19.09 EDD 5.26.10
    The day you first lay in my arms, you made my life complete.
    Aurora Rose born sleeping at 35w on 4-21-10
    BFP#2 {Almond} - 2.1.11 EDD 10.12.11 C/P 2.11.11

  • I think you said your D&C was 10/27. Me, too. And I believe AF is beginning now. We are on the same page. But I am not waiting. We're going to try asap as far as I'm concerned. Fingers crossed. T&P to you. Best of luck.
    Lilypie First Birthday tickers
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
    BFP#1 - 8/27/10 - D&C 10/27/10 @ 13 weeks to Trisomy 18
    Missing our Angel Baby Gabriel
    BFP#2 - 3/18/11 - CP 3/19/11 BFP#3 - 4/27/11 - Due 1/9/12
  • image Luv4Minnesota:

      You never know how long it might take and as we all know now, we are not in control of anything!  We cannot plan our families as much as we priorly may have thought we could. 

    This is one thing I have definitely learned!  Which is why I want to TTC b/c who knows what will happen with that or finding a job!

    Thank you all so much :)

  • image thewayiam:
    I think you said your D&C was 10/27. Me, too. And I believe AF is beginning now. We are on the same page. But I am not waiting. We're going to try asap as far as I'm concerned. Fingers crossed. T&P to you. Best of luck.

    We are on the exact same page!  Good Luck!

  • Welcome to the board. It's such a hard call. I waited to TTC the first time until my due date would be towards the end of my pediatric residency. I'm so desperate to be pregnant again, that I wish now that I hadn't waited the last 3 years at all. The bottom line is there is no right answer. It may also take a while to get pregnant again. For me, I wouldn't want to miss out on that opportunity at this point. Good luck with your decision.
    BFP#1 9/14/10 (EDD 5/21/11); no fetal pole 6w6d, 7w4d, d&c 10/8
    BFP#2 3/16/11, beta 138; 4/12 Baby/HB DS born 9/10/11 at 29w4d due to partial abruption and PTL
    Lilypie Third Birthday tickers
    BFP#3 8/19/13 Another boy! 17P, modified bedrest and Nifedipine helped us have a termie! DS2 born 4/19/14 at 38w5d.
    image
  • I am so sorry for your loss and welcome to the board.

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    I had natural miscarriage on 6/23/10 at 6weeks 1 day.
    In 2010 Diagnosed with 2 Blood clotting issues MTHFR and Factor V Lebien. Also have a progesterine issue.
    BFP #2 4/27/11 Dd born 12/22/11
  • image CashewsMommy:

    image scvaldez:
    I got pregnant in May, miscarried at 7.5 weeks, got my period in 6 weeks and then got pregnant on that cycle. So far I'm 16 weeks and I'm praying the pregnancy  goes well. My doctors say it is looking great so far.

    Um??? Huh?

    umm is right....

  • image CashewsMommy:

    image scvaldez:
    I got pregnant in May, miscarried at 7.5 weeks, got my period in 6 weeks and then got pregnant on that cycle. So far I'm 16 weeks and I'm praying the pregnancy  goes well. My doctors say it is looking great so far.

    Um??? Huh?

    Ditto...

    OP- It's really only a decision you and your DH can make. We were told to wait a cycle after each loss and we decided it would be best for us to try as soon as possible. We've been wanting a family for a while. All of the other stuff didn't matter. Plus, this might sound horrible btw, after the 2nd loss I had the mentality that "if we're going to lose another one I'd rather get it over with ASAP so we can get testing done." My doctor refused to do any testing after the 2nd loss because a CP "doesn't count" Huh? Best of luck to you! I am sure whatever you decide will be the best decision for you and your DH.

    I married a ginger.
    m/c 12/25/09 (5w5d) mm/c D&C 4/9/10 (11w1d) Take home baby 2/22/11
    My boobies belong to cour10e
  • I'm so sorry for you loss.  I was also due in May.  I'm a planner so I wanted to plan for a LO in a specific month, but DH told me how crazy I was and that we can't plan for a family, so I finally gave in and we'll be trying again soon.  Good luck with your decision.  Make sure you're emotionally ready to start TTC again.
  • Welcome! I'm so sorry for your loss honey, and I hope you find this a helpful place -  I really have.

    I can relate on both the job and the waiting issue. After my MC in September I thought that we would wait maybe 6 months or so before TTC again because I figured I would need the time to be emotionally ready. Then I started thinking that we really aren't in control, as PP said, and have no way of knowing what may happen, and if I have a really hard time getting pregnant I would be so mad at myself for wasting all that time.

    And about work - we moved to Cleveland a year ago, and finding a job has been extremely difficult. I also thought about waiting TTC until I found something permanent. But DH and I decided that a baby was the most important thing and I will just stop looking for work now and be a domestic goddess, then  a SAHM, which is what I wanted to do anyway.

    Best of luck to you, and keep us posted!

    BabyFruit Ticker imageimage
  • Welcome and I am so sorry for your loss.
    BFP May 2010 - July 6th no HB at 8 wks
    D&C July 9, 2010
    BFP December 2010! Best Christmas Gift EVER!
    Baby Girl Born August 19, 2011 and she is PERFECT!!!

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    -----

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  • I am very sorry for your loss - welcome to the board.

    I hope that you and your DH can figure out something that works for you.

    * PAL/PgAL Bumpie & NBC-Twi Nestie * image Bloggity Blog BFP #1 in 2001 ? natural m/c @ 9w4d ? TTC our first since 2009 ? BFP #2 on 8/25/2010 ? natural M/C @ 7w6d on 9/25/2010 Clomid cycle #1 @ 50mg = BFP #3 on 1/1/11 ~ EDD 9/14/2011!!! Lilypie First Birthday tickers
  • Welcome to the board.  I am so sorry for your loss.  It is very hard to know when the right time to TTC is...I was an obsessive planner before my loss so I know what that feels like.  I hope you and DH are able to make the decision that is best for you. 

    Also, I would say if you can afford to be a SAHM for the first year - do it!! I stayed home with DD for 2 years and loved every minute of it!!

    BFP#1 - 6/06 - DD - 2/07 BFP#2 - 7/30/10 - missed m/c 9w5d - D&C 9/15/10 @ 11w1d
    BFP#3 - 6/5/11 - DS - 2/10/12
  • I am also a teacher and was due in March which was perfect for me because I wanted to take 6 months off to be home with the baby. Now that won't happen, but I am not changing our TTC plans. We have been waiting too long and want a baby too much to put it on hold for work... our family needs to come first. That being said, we also can't afford to live on DH's income so if I didn't have a permanent position we would have to TTA. You need to make whatever decision is best for your family. I'm sorry for your loss and welcome to the board!
    m/c 7/17/10
    Dx: MFI- 3% morph
    IUIs: Gonal-F + Ovidrel + b2b IUI= BFNs
    IVF with ICSI= BFP! EDD 11/25/11
    3/18- Beta #1 452! 3/20- Beta #2 1,026!! 3/27- First u/s- TWINS!
    Our twin boys arrived at 36w5d due to IUGR and a growth discordance

    FET: Medicated FET moved up to 5/23 due to ovulation
    Transferred a 6BB hatched blastocyst- genetically normal female embryo
    BFP! 5/28- 5dp6dt      
    6/1 Beta #1- 223! 6/3 Beta #2- 567!

    image

    Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.
  • I dont get all the 'um's, was that because I wasnt making sense or because I got pregnant after only 1 cycle? If it's that I wasnt making sense, to clarify I got pregnant after my 1st period. I got my period 6 wks after the miscarriage, conceived 2.5 weeks after that.

    My doctor said it was ok. Plus I read this recent study which made my hub and I decide to go ahead and try. http://www.webmd.com/baby/news/20100805/study-no-need-delay-pregnancy-after-miscarriage

    I feel judged...

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • No It was an umm because your posting on a loss board with a GIANT pregnancy ticker and we have no idea who you are.

    I could care less the ongoing activity with your ute.

  • my bad! I didnt mean to offend. I must've thought I was on the m/c board. My loss was only 5 months ago so it still feels really fresh and I'm terrified it can happen to me again any given day. Best wishes to all of you.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
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