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1st Trimester
freaking out about becoming a mom
This is my first pregnancy and I am 9 weeks today. I'm 29 years old and have been waiting to have children because I have never been sure I wanted them. My husband really wants kids and now we are expecting. I have days where I am okay with it and then others when I am completely freaked out. I don't really like kids. I hear babies crying and I panic about how I will be able to take care of one. I have never even been around a baby in my entire life. I don't know what to do! Has anyone else gone through this? Any advice?
Felicia
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Re: freaking out about becoming a mom
You've got nine months to sort out all of your feelings-no need to freak out! But, really, for the greater part of my pregnancy I was tossing around the idea of adoption. DS was unplanned and I had NEVER ever wanted kids. Looking at us today, you would never guess that. I still don't have an overwhelming fondness for children and babies in general, but d@mmit, I love my kid more than I could have ever imagined. Maybe kids really aren't for you, but there is a very good chance that you will come to fall in love. Also, instincts are amazing, you will do just fine with baby care as long as you take a class or read up on it a little bit. The mother in you should come out OR you and DH will have a time to remember in figuring it all out. Take your time warming up to the idea of a little and Good luck!
I was terrified of having a baby when I was pregnant. I was one of the few teens who hated baby sitting and had only one diaper change under my belt. I think I had held maybe two newborns in my life before Katie, (my husband was even more inexperienced). I was affraid of holding babies because they are so fragile, I envisioned their heads popping off like grapes or dropping them and breaking them...lol. I went to a baby shower a couple years ago which was held after the baby was born (a Sip n See) and the mother pretty much plopped her son right in my arms, I seriously felt my arms start to shake and my heart started racing, I couldn't get rid of him fast enough and gave him to grandma.
There's some people who are naturals around kids, I on the other hand don't know how to relate to them or what to say when we're stuck in a room together. I just feel awkward.
That being said, and I don't speak for everyone, but when I first held Katie everything sort of clicked and the mothering instinct came out of no where. I found that it's a lot different when you are dealing with your own child. I had the thoughts of, how will I know when to feed her, when to bath her, change her, what do I do if she's crying. It's all just a big game of trial and error. If one thing doesn't work, try the next and repeat if necessary. Eventually you will get it and learn their signs and it gets easier.
Things are different with you own children. I could never stand to be around my nieces and nephews for very long an dhated baby sitting but with DS I can't seem to get enough for him.
I think feeling this way is normal though, hang in there!
I can't even count how many times after I found out I was pg with DS that I thought, I don't want to do this. I didn't want to have kids, neither did DH. Then, surprise, we found out we were pg, and DH is like, It is what it is. And, I sat there shaking on the bed. I loved kids, but I didn't want to have any part in having my own. I went through my entire pregnancy thinking about how this kid wasn't going to change my life, he was going to be an accessory - I could carry him around everywhere like Paris Hilton carried Tinkerbell (her chihuahua) around.
I was DEAD wrong!! DS was born with a birth defect that required immediate emergency surgery. Never in my life could I have imagined that I would want anything so badly. It has been a very humbling experience, this mom thing. I can't imagine not having him around, and I'm so unbelievably thankful that I was granted a second chance to prove exactly how much I really do want my son. He amazes me everyday, and has changed my outlook on family. I can't wait to give birth to our second.
Hi Mommy to be!
I am 23 and expecting my first in July. I have been around babies my whole life, babysitting since I was 12 for all ages and between one to four at once on my own. So you may not take my advice too easily but I just wanted to be honest with you before I began. I may have a ton of experience, but there are days I too just want to cry. I feel sick watching a birth on TLC and they don't even show much on there! Just watching how much pain the moms are in I just can't believe they just say it's all worth it and you don't remember afterward. They have to be paid a lot to say that! haha But I do feel that will be the truth. Your body was created to go through childbirth, so although it may hurt, your body will lessen a lot of the pain for you. I've been told it happens in levels. It hurts a little and you think it can't get worse, then it does and you think it can't get worse then it does and so on and so forth and then it's done and you say that wasn't too bad!
As for raising a child, that will come! I still freak out holding newborns. I'm afraid I will drop them or they will break on my lap so I am waaaay nervous about having to hold one every day for months! Every day will get easier though. You will have your first horrible HORRIBLE diaper, and then the rest will seem easy! You will probably have a night or two of no sleep but then nights with 4 or 5 hours will seem magical and 7 or 8 hours will be heaven! There will be bumps in the road you could never imagine yourself handling, but they will make the rest so much easier. And I hope that I can say with confidence, that since your husband wants children he will be there to support and help you!!! Diapers, food and late night wake ups should be shared (minus the breast feeding....sorry that is up to you, unless you pump then give him a bottle!)
You will be an amazing mom and if you are a praying woman ask God for guidance, reassurance and serenity. He will certainly bring you peace during all of this if you ask 
Good luck!
I know what you mean. I got pregnant when I was 18 and went from considering abortion to considering adoption to freaking out because I'd never liked or wanted children and didn't know how to care for them. Fast forward to the day my daughter was born, and it was like something just *clicked*. There was this surge of motherly instinct. And even though I had a tough time of it, being as young as I was when I had her, I learned quickly how to handle the best and the worst of mothering, and to this day I know exactly what my daughter needs just by observing her and I usually know exactly how to provide her with whatever that is.
Best part? Now I'm all for having a family. My daughter is three and a half now, and I'm totally open to the idea of having another.
I think you'll be just fine. It's totally natural for you to feel the way you are feeling. I wish you lots of good luck!!
// I love you too. //