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Phantomgirl
member
SS and the oversized coat WWUD?
Phantomgirl
member
We had SS last night (wed) and he came with a 'new coat'. BM buys all SSs cloths as she prefers SO to give her cash in Jan and July for cloths. Anything we have ever bough - we simpy never see again. She goes to NY every Jan to do her shopping and buys his cloths there. She does not buy cute cloths. She buys everything several sizes to big so he can grow into them, including shoes. We have often picked him up to go somewhere and i am telling you it is embarressing.
So yeasterday he came in his new school coat (uniform) - he is 6 it is age 11/12 and fits me perfectly. I am 5ft7in tall. It is a blazer but touches his knees and he has to roll the sleeves several time. SO called her and asked about the coat as we figured it was not SSs despite his name being on it. It is and she picked it that size so he can grow into it. ???
SO was furious, you cannot just buy these coats, they are ordered through the school. He told her it was ridiculous looking. His shoes are also hugh on him. I am going this weekend to buy cloth for SS (SOs instructions). He is not giving her cash anymore he we will buy the cloths. But i really don't see the point in us keeping them all as SS only spends 4 nights out of every 14 with us. Anything i have ever bough i have sent home with him - cloths, toys you name it. I just figured they are for SS.
The option are...
1. He will have cute cloths at our house that he wont really get to wear and then still go around in really big cloths the rest of the time.
2. We send them to her house and risk never seeing them again.
3. Give her the cash but condition its use.
I always like to state that she is not a bad mother or crazy or anything like that. Infact quite the oposite - its just some of her decisions baffle me. When it comes to SS she has no sense of style and has regulary put him in oversize cloths with several colors going on at once. Actually its become a bit of a joke in SOs family. Not about SS just about what she'll dress him in. Eg. For his bday last jan he had really baggy blue jeans (that kept coming down), a green and white plaid shirt and a wine swetter.
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Re: SS and the oversized coat WWUD?
I would take the jacket and get it tailored-if that is even possible since it is so big. I would also go buy his clothes from now on, school clothes go home to BM's, fun clothes stay with you. And honestly, if he came over in the too big school clothes, I would keep them, and tell BM you will send them home when they fit him properly-it really is not safe for him to wear clothes that are that large on him. Poor guy.
I'm just boggled by the lack of common sense. Really!
I would do what Xmary said. Maybe your SO and you could keep repeating to her - "these clothes are really big on him - do you want us to hold onto them until he's big enough"? Maybe being a broken record will smack some sense into her?
My SS's mom is a bit similar - good mom overall, with a little bit less common sense than the average person. SS wore the same winter coat for 4 years because she bought it "a little" too big. Fortunately, it's not very cold here so he didn't look goofy all the time (and his regular clothes she buys the right size, maybe one size big, but that's ok)
1. I would definitely buy him stuff to wear at your house.
2. Take the money you normally spend and buy him clothes. Some go home and some stay with you. This is assuming that the clothing money is above and beyond anything that is court-ordered.
3. No way would "conditions" on the money work. You have no way to hold her to this.
I think you should also call the school and order him the right size jacket - if they ask any questions just say that the one he has seems to be a bit big and don't say anything about crazy ladies ordering 5 sizes too big.
We have SS pretty much every weekend and he has a pretty good selection of clothes to wear. The clothes he's wearing on Sunday go home with him and what he wore on Friday stays here, so there's no separation between what his mom bought and we bought.... which at times has been frustrating, but if he keeps wearing clothes that are crappy or too small over here, then DH will say something to his ex about checking that his clothes aren't the right size (SS is almost 14, he will squeeze himself into things that are too small and never think anything of it and his mom doesn't pay attention to what he's wearing)... or sometimes we just fill his Christmas stocking with underwear that actually fit sand tell him not to wear any that are size X or smaller.
Poor kid.
Yeah, he can't really learn sports or be confident about dressing himself if he's drowning in all his clothing.
Have you asked if maybe she kept any of the clothes she bought for him when he was 4 years old? Maybe he's grown into those by now.
Click me, click me!
See the thing is she shops in NY - so she buys all Timberland, CK, Polo etc cloths in Woodbury Common outlets. Just several sizes to big so by the time he grows into them there all faded and worn looking. He will have all name brands just a multitude of colours and huge sizes. Those labels are so expensive here. BUT you can get really nice/cool cloths in the stores here that are European brand / no brand (who cares) but in his size.
Last night i bought him a really cute sweat suite and sneakers for wed nigh martial arts and i am going to pick up some other things over the wknd. I am going to start sending them home with him and possible trying to explain to him that he needs to say something if his cloths are to big.
Poor guy - he will eventually get teased over this.
The most hilarious thing was - after i tried it on and it fit me. I said to SS don't worry you'll grow into it eventually. He just looked up at me and said 'yea when i'm about 30'.