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Wish I took the blue pill...

VeilSdeGTOVeilSdeGTO member
in TTC After a Loss

But it's too late to go back now. As much as I would like to just let things be, not temp, not use OPK's, or not be aware of CM, I still roughly know when I'll O and how many days my cycle should be. I will still know where I am in my cycle and whether it is too early to test.

There just doesn't seem like I'll ever be able to just "relax" about everything and let nature takes its course. I'm never going to be the one to have AF sneak up on me because I lost track. I'm never going to be the one to be a week late and not realize it. I'm never going to be the one that doesn't have sex during O time.

I'm sure after I have my take home baby, I'll be able to let some of that go, but if we ever decide to have more than one child, you better bet that I will know all there is to know about my cycle, even without all the other stuff. 

My Chart

My Life

BFP 7.7.09 - CVS 9.10.09 (Girl) - 9.24.09 Severe Fatal Malformation - D&E 10.7.09 @ 17wks
BFP 6.1.10 - 6.10.10 Ectopic M/C @ 5wks
BFP 10.26.10 - 10.29.10 CP
BFP 1.30.11 - CVS 3.28.11 (Girl) - EDD 10.11.11 - Born 10.6.11
BFP 12.18.12 - 12.20.12 CP
BFP 3.18.13 - CVS 5.21.13 (Girl) - EDD 12.2.13 - Born 11.24.13
BFP 6.10.14 - CVS 7.2.14 (Girl) - EDD 1.12.15 - Born sleeping 8.6.14 @ 17w5d
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Re: Wish I took the blue pill...

  • JulsWJulsW
    ((HUGS)) I wish we could all be naive again and have no idea the heartache that we have all had to endure. I sincerely hope that your day gets better.
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  • shanna82shanna82 member
    For reals.  We are twins!
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  • jertiejertie member
    I get it completely.  I would love to relax and let things "just happen" - but I can't anymore.  I started charting a couple of months back in the event that I had a hard time getting KU'd and I needed to provide my doc with some date.  Now, I'm caught in the web and I know too much.  I got the whole "maybe you're overthinking this" on Friday when I spent most of my afternoon going from drugstore to drugstore looking for preseed (no dice).  I hate this.  But, I'm really looking forward to your BFP post someday soon!

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  • ColleenS629ColleenS629 member
    Hugs! ITA... there's no way I could just lose track. I was even on the pill for the past week and will be starting a monitored cycle so I stopped temping but I still know what CD I'm on and what would be happening if this was a normal cycle.
    m/c 7/17/10
    Dx: MFI- 3% morph
    IUIs: Gonal-F + Ovidrel + b2b IUI= BFNs
    IVF with ICSI= BFP! EDD 11/25/11
    3/18- Beta #1 452! 3/20- Beta #2 1,026!! 3/27- First u/s- TWINS!
    Our twin boys arrived at 36w5d due to IUGR and a growth discordance

    FET: Medicated FET moved up to 5/23 due to ovulation
    Transferred a 6BB hatched blastocyst- genetically normal female embryo
    BFP! 5/28- 5dp6dt      
    6/1 Beta #1- 223! 6/3 Beta #2- 567!

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     Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.
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  • itsmeginitsmegin
    I get just what you mean, it's impossible not to pay attention now that you're aware. I am trying not to temp during my TTA cycle, but I still want to every few days so I can make sure everything is going okay and know when AF is coming. It's hard to go back to being naive.
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  • kmountkmount member
    I wish this all the time.  If only....
    m/c 12/20/09 @ 5 1/2 weeks ~ CP 1/25/09 @ 4 weeks ~ missed m/c 4/6/10 (stopped growing @ 6 weeks, stayed with me until 10) ~Foster parent to B, 9/10-1/12~ Proud Mother of Gage Stephen, born 12/26/12 Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
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