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Working Moms
audrey79
member
Thought's re: gifting a full week's salary for DC provider...
audrey79
member
in Working Moms
I've read on this board and a few others how some are planning to give a gift of a full week's salary to their child's DC teacher.
Personally for ME, that is absolutely ridiculous! The teachers at my center get FREE health, vision, dental, life, and STD insurance policies, 100% paid for by their employer. It's also a requirement they have bachelors degrees- most have masters degrees. They make well above minimum wage- most make around $13.00 an hour, so $520 a week.
If all the parents (about 24 in each class), gave a "full week's salary), a teacher would get $12,480 in "gifts." Seriouslly...
I certainly understand if you have a nanny or au pair, or even if you go to a VERY small in-home center of only 5 to 8 kids... but come on, if you go to a national chain center, a week's salary is INSANE.
Aside from the Mommy's with au pairs/nannies/or who go to an in-home center, is anyone else giving their DC teacher this type of "present" for Christmas?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Thought's re: gifting a full week's salary for DC provider...
Honestly, our teachers don't make a lot of money and the benefits are very expensive. So if another parent wants to give them a full week's salary for each one (because there are multiple caregivers in a center setting), more power to them!
Me personally, I can't afford it. So I don't. But I think it is great if someone wants to and can afford to do that.
DD -- 5YO
DS -- 3YO
This is very true. How nice to be able to afford something like that!!! My 2 sons have 4 teachers a piece- Close to 2 GRAND on teachers gifts is SO not in our Christmas budet. our Christmas budget for our family and extended family was half that this year... Our providers are getting cards and and a coffee mug filled with candy and a $5 Starbucks gift card...
If you can afford it, that's awesome.
But seriously, we might spend that much on all the Christmas presents for both of our families combined. Maybe.
There's no way I'm giving one person, whose salary I'm already paying, a gift whose sum exceeds the total dollar amount of the rest of our gifts combined.
When you see people posting about "one week's salary" I think they are primarily referring to nannies and in-home providers. I am sure it happens, but I have never heard of someone gifting a center-based teacher one week's tuition.
Honestly though, If you had your Masters Degree - would you want to work for $13/hour? We won't be giving Livie's teacher a full week's tuition, because it isn't in our budget. Not because I don't think she deserves it.
We will probably do gift cards to various locations and some classroom supplies for all of the toddler teachers, and bring in treats one morning next week for the whole center staff to share.
A Little Bird and a Monkey Butt
I have never either when we used a DC center nor since having nannies gave a weeks salary as a gift. I understand some former nanny's say it's expected, but I find that insane that anyone - regardless of profession or income EXPECT a gift of a certain amount at the holidays.
A gift is that...a gift to show your appreciation, care, love. It is the thought, not the amount
A bonus is earned in some fashion - based on performance, productivity, tenure, etc.
**Edited to add** I also would say that if we gave a week's salary to our nanny, that is more than I spend on DH and vice versa at the holidays. It's also a lot more than I spend on my mom, who raised me and is a widow (thus she doesn't get presents from anyone else!). I agree it's not about lacking appreciation or seeing the value in a nanny/DC provider.
People are referring to giving their in-home nanny/au pair a week's salary as a Christmas bonus/present. Those are people that are generally not getting insurance, 401K, etc. Also - they are generally only caring for one or two children.
I am giving DD's main teacher a $100 GC and the rest of the girls in the room 10 GCs to Dunkin Donuts.
This.
We're giving a total of $360 to mt DD's teachers at a daycare center. I wanted to give double that but DH disagreed.
exactly.
they are talking about a nanny or sole provider. One week's salary is pretty typical for that. its what we're doing.
Your "they make well above minimum wage-most make around $13/hr" statement makes me sad. Do you really think that's a good salary for someone with a master's degree? I think I'd cry if I only made $13 an hour with my master's degree (and I do have one). I get that it's a bit much to give center employees a week's salary (and I agree with previous posters that this is more commonly done for nannies or one-on-one care). As far as them getting "FREE health, vision,etc" I'm thinking that you don't know the details of their policies. It may be FREE health care that pays 80% of claims with a $10k out of pocket max or STD that covers next to nothing. Maybe they have to pay $35 for each prescription they get filled. $520 a week means that they're probably taking home $750-850 every two weeks after taxes...and possibly repaying student loans for those degrees you mentioned out of that $1600 a month in addition to putting a roof over their heads and feeding their family.
My point is, give what you feel comfortable giving but don't try and make it sound like daycare providers have it so great. I think it's one of the most important but most thankless jobs out there (and I am in no way affiliated with the industry). A good daycare provider truly loves her job and certainly doesn't do it for the money...and our kids know who the good ones are.
I got each of DD's teachers (there are 5 in her room) a $25 gift certificate to a grocery store and wrote a nice note.
Most of the ladies w/Masters work there as side income to supplement their retirement & SS pay, they're retired. A lot of people in America have difficulty with paying their co-pays, prescriptions, etc... I'm in healthcare, I know this. There are also programs out there to help. Yes it's a thankless job, they should be thankful to have one as I am thankful to have mine. If they despise their income and their jobs, get a new one... quit... If they are there for the right reasons, their love children, awesome. MY point is, daycare teachers who work for national centers are employed by someone else, NOT by me. There should not be all this darn pressure to stretch ourselves thin and buy them gifts. I am not their boss, I have no reason to become obligated to buy them anything. It's sad that in some daycare cultures (NOT at my center thank God), families feel the pressure to buy a gift for each teacher... ridiculous.
Wow. I am glad I am not your child's teacher.
I feel absolutely no pressure to by my DD's teachers something. I do it because I genuinely appreciate every second of their time that they put in every day.
They are under-paid (reality of childcare) and stick it out because they love the kids, but loving kids doesn't pay the bills.
I over-pay when they baby-sit for me, and give gifts at special times because I want to. It is just one of the ways that I try to show DD's teachers how much I appreciate them.
I am not quite sure I get what your issue is. You say you don't have pressure at your center to buy teachers gifts - so what are you upset about? That other parents choose to do so?
A Little Bird and a Monkey Butt
My issue is really rooted in the whole sense of entitlement some service workers have- like waitstaff, drivers, etc.- they have to EARN tips, they shouldn't expect them. They make a base salary- if it's too low for them or "doesn't pay the bills," get a new job. If you truly love your job then you should love the salary that goes with it too.
Like I said, I think it's ridiculous to pay a week's salary to someone else's employee at a national franchise daycare center where the staff gets ABOVE minimum wage and 100% employer paid benefits. And I am giving my sons' teachers (all four of them), small tokes of appreciations, Christmas cards w/personal messages and a starbucks mug w/gift card. They EARNED that, they shouldn't expect that and I shouldn't be expected to give that... it's crazy to think that people believe they are entilted to it...
Well, I know plenty of professional workers who expect a YE bonus and are mighty crabby if it doesn't come. A sense of entitlement isn't limited to the service industry.
And as far as, " If you truly love your job then you should love the salary that goes with it too. " - that is pure ridiculousness. People may need to learn to accept and live on the salary they earn if they choose a lower paying profession, but to expect people to 'love' a low salary because they love their job is just silly.
I am sure you aren't meaning to, but you are coming across as quite a scrooge. No one is being forced to give any more than can or want to. I am sure your child's teachers will LOVE (and as a former toddler teacher, I am being serious) the heartfelt note. And they will also appreciate any monetary gift that comes their way.
A Little Bird and a Monkey Butt
I think you are ridiculous to think that service workers feel entitled for any gesture of gratitude. Anyone I know of that works in the service industry of any kind works their AS$ off for what they get no matter what degree they have.
I also think it's ridiculous to give a caregiver a full weeks pay as well. Not because I don't think they deserve it but because most people can't afford that. I do believe they all deserve it. They take care of the most precious person in my world. If I could, I'd be sure that I took care of them in the best possible way. For most, that isn't a full weeks pay.
I think you don't give your child's caregivers enough credit or appreciate for just what they do for you. They care for your child & ensure your child's safety & well-being in your absence. That makes them pretty f*ckin entitled if you ask me.
I'm not going to go into how upset I am about some of these comments, but want to point something out.
If people with in home providers are giving a week's salary, that doesn't mean people in centers EACH have to give a week's salary. Using that guideline (and I'm not saying they're entitled to it, but our whole culture includes guidelines for tipping), if each of the 5-8 families in the class gave $100 the total gift would exceed a week's salary. So if you take that into account it's a perfectly reasonable guideline.
Audrey, let me get this straight...you don't feel pressured into giving them anything @ your center and you're choosing to give them what you feel comfortable giving (and there is nothing wrong with that). Therefore, what others choose to do for their providers has no impact on you, your center, or the care that your children receive. The issue is, you're mad/upset/etc. that others may choose to do something different. While trying to support your initial post, you then compare the person who watches your kids to the barista at Starbucks and the fact that they expect tips (wonder if your daycare providers will tip when they use their gift cards???). Again--whether or not you choose to tip the barista or some other service person is your choice. How you can compare the person who cares for your kid day in and day out to the girl who makes you a latte is beyond me. Why do you care so much about what others are doing? Personally, I usually don't tip at Starbucks, but if someone else wants to that is their decision. I'm not worried about my hot chocolate being made differently because I don't tip at the drive thru and nor do I think my child will receive less care because of what I do for Christmas.
Are you bitter that you pay so much for childcare, or just bitter in general?
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This may be the most asinine post on here in months.
OP:
#1 - you totally misunderstand what people are doing (as I stated earlier) the people who give their DCP a week's salary as bonus/Christmas present do it b/c they are providing sole care to their LO; this is not related to large corporate, for profit daycare centers.
#2 We go to a large corporate daycare center - I'm giving gifts to DD's main teacher and the other 3 teachers in her room/group taht give her care at various times. I'm giving what I am comfortable with - and certainly not a week's tuition to each lady - which would be almost 400/pp.
#3 No one is required to do anything and I agree the tipping situation in this country is a little out of control and I get annoyed that I am expected to tip for many things and made to feel guilty if I don't - however - one of the few things I am genuinely happy to reward for exceptional effort is the person/people who take care of my daughter all day long. My daughter has a loving strong bond, the DCPs comfort and cuddle my daughter when she's hurt or grumpy, they are teaching her manners, they are teaching her to read, and count, and potty training. They do all these things with a level of love and patience that I am constantly amazed by. I can say thank you everyday, but I also want to put my money where my mouth is and show them that I notice EVERYTHING they do and how much it benefits my daughter and me.
#4 where do you live that 13/hr is good money for someone w/ a master's degree and they have to wipe poop everyday?
Look, everyone is entitled to their own opinions and we are all free to agree to disagree. I posted here my thoughts and opinions- which many don't agree with, and many DO agree with portions of what I had to say. Don't read it and don't reply if you think it's completely ridiculous.
No one can argue that there is a sense of entitlement in the US- I personally feel like tips, gifts, and bonuses to service employees need to be earned. I also feel like giving a week's salary as a bonus to YOUR OWN EMPLOYEE (i.e. your nanny or au pair), is totally acceptable, and I would probably do this if I had either. However, I feel like people who work for national franchise daycare centers are NOT entitled to a gift, tip, or bonus since I am NOT their employer. It must be earned. Again, my sons' 4 teachers ARE getting small gifts from me, I spent about $25 each. The gifts are out of appreciation, not obligation and pressure- they earned it and frankly, that's all we can afford this year. If you think I'm a scrooge, cool, you're entitled... I think I'm reasonable...
dup
...
nest burp
OMG you are awful. I hope it's the pregnancy hormones that are making you so biitchy, and that you aren't like this all the time.
And, for the record, I use an in-home daycare and am giving my DCP a check for TWO WEEKS salary. She's fantastic, and she deserves it. I'm spending more on her than I am on anyone else on my list.
dup dup
stupid nest!
haha.. I am laughing AT your close-minded and judgemental comments, not with you.. let's get that straight. I find it interesting that I've been called, a "biitch," "awful," a "scrooge," "ridiculous," etc.. yet, I'm the only one who has refrained from name calling and stooping down to that level. You know why, it's called wisdom, maturity, and OPEN-mindedness. yes I'm opinionated, but apparently, the rest of you are as well.
And WHY is it that I'm a biitch again, because I GAVE my boys' daycare workers gifts for Christmas?
haha.. I continue to laugh AT you..
Hmmm... yeah, this response isn't helping your case at all.
How am I being close minded and judgemental? Please, educate me.
And why do you care what I, or anyone else on this board, decides to tip? How does it affect you?
Here's an idea... if everyone else in the world disagrees with you, maybe, you're the one in the wrong.
How about you go back to whatever random board you came from?
FWIW, I was the one that used the words scrooge and ridiculous, and they weren't used to call you names.
I told you that you were coming across as a scrooge (due to your reaction to what OTHER families CHOOSE to do in regards to gifting) and even wrote that I was sure that wasn't your intention to come across that way.
I also wrote that your comment that people should love their low pay was ridiculous.
Others may have used those words too (I didn't re-read every post) but I don't think you were called as many names as you are representing. And I apologize if you took my comments in that regard. I may have been bluntly honest, but not with the intention of hurting anyone's fee-fees.
You of course are entitled to your opinion, but so is everyone else. Don't post your opinion on a message board if you don't want people commenting on it.
Good luck and Merry Christmas!
A Little Bird and a Monkey Butt
If you wanted to start a discussion about the issue of entitlement in the US than thats what you should of started. You didn't. You started a post about how much to give as a gift for DC caregivers. Than you went on about how people in the service industry need to EARN their tips. Saying that is like comparing your waitress at Denny's with the women/man who takes care of your child. Although the pay scale might be comparable the caliber of care for those they are serving is incomparable.
I personally don't care what you give your DC caregiver. Thats your choice. It's just your thoughts behind coming to that decision. Your view about the people who care for your child is a bit skewed. I don't think you give them enough credit for all that they do. Because if they aren't caring for your child enough so that you WANT to give them a weeks worth of pay maybe you need to find new child care. I just know that those that do good by me & my should be rewarded highly. I might not be able to do that but I sure wish I could. I can't so I won't but I wish I could because I know that their jobs are not easy & they have earned it.