Hormones or justified PO'd (vent kinda long)

tandb2010 · December 2010

Hey Ladies,

Lets start from the start. I am about 4 1/2 weeks along. DH quit his jobe 2 weeks ago. I am ok with this he wasn't happy there and it was going bad and fast. Now on to my hormonal issues. Today is my only day off in a week and my only day off for the next week (excluding christmas day) I am working 2 jobs. Before one was for bills and the other was for my own pocket money, gifts, movie nights ect. Now all my cash is going to house stuff. Cool with that too. We have lots of savings and ends are meeting and then some. My issue is that the DH asked me if I was going to clean the house today. I said probably not. I am going to do laundry but that is all I am plaing to do today. He then got right pissy at me and told me that I didn't want to do anything anymore. I told him that I have been at two jobs for the lats two weeks and he has been home sitting on his butt and he could have cleaned the house AND done laundry so we could relax together on the only day off I have. He then turned into the 4 year old I married and stormed outside to snow blow the inch of snow out of the driveway.

GRRRRRRR sorry for the rant but am I justified in being PO'd because I don't have time to do "wife" work when he is sitting at home playing with his power tools? Thanks for letting me vent.

Tigerlilym15 · December 2010

I would be annoyed too! I think it might help if you guys have a talk about who will handle what responsibilities at home now that so many things are changing. It sounds to me like you have been working very hard at work, not to mention making a human! You deserve to rest on your day off and if your hubby is not working, there is no reason why he shouldn't help out more around the house. Getting upset won't solve anything though, but having a heart to heart about how you are feeling and what you can both do about it may help you feel better and keep this from happening over and over.

tandb2010 · December 2010

Heart to herat is on my list for dinner convo tonight. He will be fine with doing chores I just need to cowboy up and tell him that I need help. (a very hard thing for me to do) I am sure it will all work out.

MamaKayTee · December 2010

Justified. You shouldn't be expected to also do all of the household chores, especially if he's home all week. Sounds like it's time for a sit-down to make a chore chart or discuss expectations for who does what around the house. Everyone in the household needs to contribute. His "job" while he's unemployed is to look for work and keep up the house, so you can focus on keeping the bills paid and staying healthy.

angiek1 · December 2010

I'd be pretty pissed if I was in your shoes as well. I would have a follow up convo telling him that if you were staying home you'd be expecting to keep the house clean and do the laundry. Since at the current time you are the one working it is his job to do the house stuff. I know it'll hurt his pride, but he chose to be at home. If he doesn't want to clean then tell him to get a job. A housewife is expected to keep her house clean, that is part of her responsibilities, the same goes for a guy.

NurseLaLa · December 2010

Story of my life right now, haha

I'd be okay with him being a complete slob -- enjoy the very little time he'll ever get to not work in his life, but the minute he starts complaining about me not helping out around the house, the deal is off. I would be livid in your situation.

jmurphy1864 · December 2010

I would have flipped out way more than you did ...pregnant or not.... what the hell is he doing all day??? oh man i wouldve lost it

Jessibell · December 2010

Seriously? Unless you did, in fact, marry a four year old, that is absolutely reprehensible behavior. Tell him to get off his dead ass.

kathymarie · December 2010

Let me see if I have this straight...his pregnant wife is working two jobs while he sits on his arse all day and is is mad that she didn't clean the house? F that noise. I agree with PP; tell him to get off his dead ass. You should be coming home to a clean house AND a home cooked dinner. Possibly a pie made from scratch too. Men!

preg_amy · December 2010

Jessibell:
Seriously? Unless you did, in fact, marry a four year old, that is absolutely reprehensible behavior. Tell him to get off his dead ass.

Mmhmm...

CCinLove · December 2010

What?! I would have already notified him that as long as I'm working 2 jobs (and creating life) and he's working none, 100% of the housecleaning duties belong to him. You need to nip this in the bud before you find yourself responsible for all of the wage earning, child rearing, and household responsibilities while he sits back on his a$$.

sleepingbeauty825 · December 2010

Well, I would have been mad in the first place that he quit his job with no back up job- savings or no! But since you don't take issue with that, I will say that I would have straight up laughed at my husband if he asked me that. Sorry, but your hubby is acting RIDICULOUS. For reals.

Duckieer · December 2010

Totally justified. I don't think the men understand just how tired you can be when growing a baby especially when you're as busy as you sound. Try talking to him and maybe working out some kind of plan. Before I even got pregnant hubs and I worked out our "chores" just like we each had growing up. As my life got busier he took on some of my chores and his life gets busier I take on some of his. It helps us to have a list of what needs to be done in order to split it up.

P.S. I LOVE that you said " He then turned into the 4 year old I married..." Such a perfect description of DH's sometimes. Smile

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