I've deserted my friends

shoefreak85 · December 2010

I felt horrible tonight when I saw that one of mine and DH's close friends was in Charlotte. I said something to DH and he said, "Didn't you know? He's graduating tomorrow?" Oops! The friend finished classes in the fall, but couldn't walk until now. I totally forgot and I haven't really had a conversation with him in a few weeks. I saw him this morning and didn't say a thing about graduation!

DH told me that I had deserted most of my friends and I'm not the same lady I was before. He said I don't like anyone anymore and I don't ever want to have fun. It was the ugly truth. I usually host several holiday parties, and I haven't thought about the first one! The only people I communicate with any more are DH, my family, and my BFF. I guess my second New Year's resolution is to get out of the house more often!

Have any of you been in this situation? If so, what did you do?

thewayiam · December 2010

I can say that I've become pretty antisocial over the past two months. I don't want to see or talk to anyone. I don't want to go out much. I am avoiding family, too. I don't have a plan to fix this yet... We hosted a holiday party and I begged DH to cancel it beforehand. He said that I needed to see people (he was right) so we had it. It was uncomfortable but I got through. I guess that's what I need to do - force myself. New Year's resolution, good idea.

Cristine · December 2010

That's my new year's resolution too. I've never been all that social anyway but since the m/c I've found myself distancing myself from my friends. It wasn't a conscience decision I've just found myself in a funk and not in the mood to do anything. I'm so glad 2010 is almost over.

Valco · December 2010

Yes, I absolutely am there too.

I can barely cope with day to day necessities, nonetheless socializing. And the worst part is it just layers guilt for being a crappy friend on top of all your other bad feelings.

Cut yourself some slack and start off small - a quick email to say congrats, a phone message, whatever. Don't put too much pressure on yourself, its hard to think about others when your own life is almost too much to bear.

tigers413 · December 2010

I only have a few friends here and one that lives down the street. Seriously did not see her for about 2 months. I have been antisocial since my mc. I don't want to go out or hang out with anyone. I think this will be my new year's resolution. I mean I have 1 more year here in SC then we will be moving again.

Izabella22 · December 2010

I have pulled away as well, plus I get almost no downtime lately and I need all the quiet I can get. I figure after New Years I'll start getting out there again, but for right now I'm still not sure how Xmas is going to hit me so I'm not even going to allow myself to feel bad about pulling away, its self protective. I know your DH probably meant well by it, but that seems a little harsh right before the holidays. Of course you aren't the same person! *HUGS*

MandaS08 · December 2010

I think its normal to distance yourself some-your grieving and you have to take care of yourself. I have definitely done the same thing-I just don't have the energy to be social.