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Birthday party

Zoink2008Zoink2008
in Blended Families

We're doing a joint party with BM this year for SD9. She chose a little girl-do-up-your-hair-make up place. Cousins and classmates invited. Really, it's BM planning this and we're paying for ourselves and attending. No "joint" about it. It's a first time so later on we'll weight in on things but sometimes going into a first joint venture, it's safer just to survive it at all without a fight.

She e-mailed asking if we're eating at the party. Well, it's our weekend with the kids and since they'll be eating, well,,,, so will we. WE wrote that if parents are eating...then we'll eat...then if parents aren't eating....we won't eat. Whatever the flow is. She wrote back that she's not trying to be rude but if parents are eating since it's a kids party, then they'll have to pay her back for the cost. She said it includes her own sisters, neighbors and classmates's parents.

IMO, anytime you say "I'm not trying to be rude," this means you know you're being rude and don't do it! Duh! It is rude whatever way you shake it.

So we're going to offer to pay for the extra pizza so the parents have food too. And bring extra juice so the parents have their own.

All the kids parties I've been to, there has been food for parents to so why should SD9's party be like this?

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Re: Birthday party

  • Zoink2008Zoink2008
    I should also add that we're paying our fair share of kids invited and party supplies but for the purpose of the issue, I just mentioned paying for ourselves.
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  • GSDloverGSDlover
    If SD is 9, I'd assume most parents won't stay at the party. Generally around here...party hosts will order some extra food, but most adults won't really eat any to be polite and most won't stay for the part either (unless it's right at dinner time and they were specifically invited). I always put on invites that parents are invited too and therefore plan accordingly, but I wouldn't assume that the parents who choose to stay will intend on eating...nor would I ever ask anyone for money (guests) to help pay for anything. So I guess I'd ask when you get there if adults plan to eat and then order extra if that's possible...but I think it's unlikely all the adults will stay.
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  • taagenttaagent member

    When SD had her birthday party last year we did a skating rink party.  There was pizza included in the price, we were prepared to pay for additional pizza but didnt end up needing to.  Most parents left after dropping their kids off and a couple stayed but away from the rest of the group.

    I do have to say one family brought additional children with them and those kids kept coming up to us asking for food, drink, cake, party favors, etc.  To be perfectly honest even though we obliged it was annoying as hell.  The extra (older) children, who SD didn't even know were not invited and although I felt guilty about saying no, I thought it was REALLY crappy of the parents to allow their other children to butt in on the party (maybe that is just me though).  Since we did have enough to go around we were able to offer the parents food and drink and I do think it is kind of rude not to.  Not many parents will stay and its not like they are going to eat a ton of food, they have all thrown parties before, I am sure they know the unwritten "rules", at least most of them do.

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