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2nd Trimester
sohappy14
member
Talk me into NOT finding out gender!!
sohappy14
member
I really did want to be surprised, but the u/s tech wrote the sex down for us and sealed it up in an envelope... I am so curious to know and also want to decorate the nursery, but I am having trouble with neutral bedding I like... It seems like such a great surprise if you wait (at least that's what people say) SOO can anyone tell me how wonderful it is to not find out!! How did u do your nursery? Thanks!!!!
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Talk me into NOT finding out gender!!
No way, Open it!!! I have never had a baby, but I am thinking seeing the baby will be a great surprise even if you know the sex on delivery day.
I can't wait to find out so I can bond more with my little boy or girl growing inside of me.
I also want to be able to buy cute boy/girl clothes, etc, if I see something I like before the baby comes. You must have some will power if you do not open it. I do not think I would last more than a couple of days.
Good luck with your choice!
Think of it this way, it is like losing your virginity. Once you do it, you can't get it back.
If you are not ready to know, then you need to get that envelope out of your possession. Either burn it or give it to someone you can trust to keep it.
You can bond with the baby just fine without knowing and brown/ green nurseries are very in. When the baby comes then you can just add some blue or pink to give the nursery a punch of color.
A kiss he will never forget- Disney World 2014
If you truly don't want to know yet, then get rid of the envelope. Shred it, burn it, whatever.
Why on earth did you have the u/s tech write it down for you if you didn't want to know???
Anyway, good luck holding strong.
Lurking...
But...I'm no help. I would open it on Christmas morning! There was actually a girl on one of the boards who wished she found out so she could have bonded better with her baby before he got here.
I am by no means saying it is less bonding. For me personally, I want to know and start trying out names, etc. and planning for my girl or boy.
To each their own. I do think it would be a great to surprise to wait, but not the choice for me or my husband. = )
It's totally personal preference. Here's why I love(d) being team green:
I love the suspense and anticipation. I love hearing people's guesses. I love having a baby pool for friends and family that includes sex as one of the variables. I love that I didn't get buried in girly stuff and/or boy-ish stuff before Drew arrived. I loved that all the nurses and doctors were excited to found out the sex too. I LOVED the moment when the doctor said "It's a boy." I loved that DH got to walk out to the waiting room and announce that we had a boy.
I didn't (and haven't) had any trouble "bonding." We refer to the baby as "baby" or "newbaby" or "orangejello" (Drew was lemonjello). I didn't and don't care to buy a whole lot of stuff that is one color or another. I am a planner but don't feel any less prepared.
If you decide to stay team green, I'd throw that envelope out. If you decide to open it, don't second guess yourself. There's no right or wrong answer. Do what you want!
Do NOT open it! Burn it, in fact...
We didn't find out with DD and it was the most incredible experience you could ever imagine. The anticipation leading up to the birth day alone was incredible. But in that moment of giving birth I cannot even explain how much harder I pushed and how excited we were when the dr said, "It's a girl!" I cried and cried and we laughed and it was so exhilarating!
We did the nursery in green and bought neutral bedding (cream with green, yellow and brown polka dots.) After she was born we girlied it up with pictures and accessories.
I held out on finding out but I am a HUGE planner so it was a little difficult. But I looked at it as planning for a baby, not a boy or a girl. Trust me, you will not regret it!
/page.aspx?username=BabyBurns" href="http://littlebabyburns.blogspot.com/">My Blog
First, throw out that envelope if you don't want to know!
I agree with all the reasons pp have mentioned for being team green. Also, I would prefer my baby not have all pink or all blue stuff--I like gender neutral better. Plus, the big things like a stroller and car seat and pack-n-play I think you want gender neutral so you can use them if/when you have another LO.
We are doing the nursery with an Australian animals theme since our LO was conceived in Australia. I think any animal theme (jungle, barnyard, etc) theme is gender neutral and really cute! You could even go with just one animal you like--ducks, bunnies, etc. Good luck!
This may be 100% true for some women, but for me it is NOT. I just need to know! Not in an "I can't wait" kind of way, but in a specific bonding and emotional way. Both times I have struggled with a little depression and difficulty bonding or even really seeing my pregnancy as a solid reality. Both times I didn't really care what the gender was, but the moment I knew, everything turned wonderful for me. I just psychologically need to know. I am one woman who cannot call my baby "it," and no matter how many nicknames I use, that feeling is always there. Once I can attach some info to my pregnancy, I really start to enjoy it.
There is nothing shameful or wrong about finding out about the gender. People make it sound like some horrible thing and that you are ruining your pregnancy. I know that some people greatly enjoy finding out in the delivery room and that might be for you, but finding out is not a bad choice. It doesn't ruin anything, it is just different. For me it's better. Go with your gut and make your personal choice!
We didn't find out with our first and it was an INCREDIBLE experience. We found out with our next too and guess what? It was also an INCREDIBLE experience! lol!
It's a surprise no matter when you find out. If you want to wait, then through away the envelope. I'm not talking you into either way, because both ways rock and neither is more of a surprise than the other - just surprised at different times.
We are team green... some of the reasons that pp gave really rang true... I am excited for DH to be able to announce it to everybody. It is also really fun for everybody to guess (although general consensus says boy... I keep laughing and saying how surprised everyone will be if Baby is a girl.)
We have a winnie-the-pooh theme, and honestly are planning on painting the walls blue. But I think it will still be fairly neutral, and we can always add extra piglet stuff if Baby is a girl.
Honestly, I would rather plan to be surprised then be one of the (very) small number of people that have a surprise girl or boy when they were expecting the other. I can plan to not be able to plan, if you know what I mean.
I don't believe this comment to be true. Seriously- either way you find out- it is still a "true" surprise. We found out with our first and it was just as much a wonderful surprise as it would have been in the hospital. Especially since I was drugged up and having an emergency c-section....
We haven't decided if we are team green or not so I can't help...I can say that if I had the envelope I would probably look, so if you are like me- you should probably give it to somebody else or burn it.
Here is my reply from this post https://community.thenest.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/46562409.aspx last week...I really don't have the energy or brain power to retype it at this "late" hour (it's all of 9:41pm!)
We have always been Team Green, even before we were married and there were any hypothetical babies in the near future. This will be our first. Like PP have said, I think it will be the ultimate surprise and special moment for DH and I after a long journey, and will make all the pain and work worth it. There are only so many surprises in life these days.
Recent events that have reinforced our decision: We had friends this summer who had 3D U/S and were expecting a girl, had a pink-themed shower, handmade pink gifts, painted nursury pink, etc...and brought home Nathan. Then, our nephew was born in August and she received very few gender-neutral shower gifts from her registry...everyone wanted to buy cute boy things, I guess. That's great if they never have another kid or only have boys in the future. Also, when our nephew was born I found the whole thing pretty anticlimactic (granted, it wasn't our kid, but we have 4 other young neices and nephews to compare it to), and we knew it was a boy, his name, etc. DH: "SIL had the baby." Me: "Oh, what did...what's his...ummm, how big is he?" Finally, a co-worker said her DH was bummed for a few days that they were having a girl and he'd had all these guy-like plans for his son. Naturally he was smitten the moment she was born, but they regret finding out and going through those emotions and say they wouldn't find out in the future.
Funny, I think she was asking for reasons NOT to find out. Of course even with that there have to be posts about why she should find out. We read the "its a ___" posts or the "do you think this is a ___" posts everyday without chiming in and saying you should be team green. Can't there just be a post about the positives of not finding out without having to hear about "not bonding" and "wanting to be prepared" and "its a surprise either way" and what not. Sheesh.
Rant over. I completely agree with PAmiller and Babyburns. It was an amazing experience and having DH tell me its a boy and having that moment for himself and then telling our family was incredible for him as well. On the "practical" side, it was great to not get slammed with gender-specific clothes and what not. My best friend and I had our showers together and she received pretty much nothing but girls clothes. Afterwards she confided with me that she didn't know what she was going to do with all this stuff...taffeta and dresses and tutus galore. She didn't get hardly any of the essentials and ended up donating a lot of the clothes. The gender neutral stuff doesn't last forever. Just the first few months and I love that I have plenty of new baby stuff for #2 because it is neutral. I did the room in a lovely green and planned to add blue or pink curtains, depending. Haven't done #2's room yet, not sure the plan.
In all honesty though, you shouldn't need convincing. I think people who are team green know it an own it. You couldn't convince me to find out. If I had an envelope, it wouldn't get touched. I would do anything to be sure I didn't find out. But if you don't want to know and are too tempted, get rid of it. I don't know what your u/s tech was thinking giving you that envelope.
*Edit* I got so caught up in my rant I didn't really answer the nursery question. I didn't have a theme and didn't plan on buying a bedding set, so that was never an issue. We did black furniture, some different color sheets, white crib skirt and regular blankets. DS didn't move into his room until he was 3 months old so I had plenty of time to "boy-it-up". And that is still an on-going process. I'm glad I didn't really do a theme because he is his own boy now and picks out stuff for his room. Animals, cars, baseball. He's made it his own.
Why does everyone live with so few surprises in life? I feel so bad! My life is jam packed full of surprises -- we try to keep things interesting that way. I assume what you really mean is that this is one of few life-changing events that you can voluntarily limit the details on to surprise yourself at the end. I hope that's the case!
For me, I can't wait to find out - it's going to be a very special (surprising) Christmas gift. I can't stand referring to the baby as "baby" or "it"...excited to be able to say "he" or "she" and I think it will help us bond by referring to their name at some point. I am not into a ton blue or pink anyway, so a lot of our stuff will be neutral (especially so we can use it again in the future in case we have another kid of a different gender).
Ultimately it's up to you. If you truly want to wait until birth to find out, make the decision and be firm with it. You still have a long way to go and you'll drive yourself crazy if you continue to second guess yourself
~*~*May 2013 Moms Website*~*~
I would never be able to stand it if it was in an envelope. Give it to someone who you know won't give it back if you really don't want to know.
That said, while I'm sure it IS a great surprise in the delivery room, its a pretty darn great surprise whenever you find out. So if you want to know then find out
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Obviously it is a personal decision, and whatever you choose will be right for you
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Having said that... BURN THE ENVELOPE!!!! We were team green with DD and will be again. I can't imagine it any other way. Like PP's said all the anxiety and guessing are so much fun. The doctor announcing 'it's a girl' and DH getting to go tell all the grandparents during those amazing moments following the birth... magical!! As far as the nursery my advice is don't even waste your money on bedding... buy a neutral crib sheet and a bumper (if you want one). You can add anything else after the baby comes.
I'm not going to lie, the thought has crossed my mind (finding out) this time, mainly because it would make me much more motivated to go through DD's things and organize better if it were to be another girl... but I just can't imagine knowing. I'm sure it would end up being just as 'magical,' but it's just not for me
Good luck, and no matter what you decide it will be the right decision for you!!
We loved being team green. The moment of "it's a girl" in the delivery room was amazing. Throw out the envelope!
Our nursery is green and blue with frogs. Kate loves it!
We didn't find out for our daughter. We did the nursery in a light green, yellow and white curtains and bedskirt. I made a crib bumper in boy and girl depending on which we had. My lovely neighbors set it up for me before we came home with her. I bought a rug for her room (tile floors) after we were home. I added pink curtains and pictures later to girl it up. It wasn't that hard. Really all the baby needs is a safe place to sleep. =D
The way we found out was awesome. I kind of want to do it again but DH already wants to know this time. I told my doctor and nurses I didn't want them to announce it. I wanted my husband to be able to look down and see what the baby was. It was AWESOME having him look down after I pushed her out and say "It's a GIRL!" To see the expression on his face as he discovered that. It still brings tears to my eyes.
I'm not a sentimental person normally, but I really love that we did it that way. We probably will do it that way again with #3. It was great.
My Ovulation Chart
I want to know how people bonded with their babies in utero before the mid-late 80's when ultrasounds became common. I don't get the "I want to bond better" thing AT ALL. I did know what we were having last time and the bonding at birth was completely different than beforehand. I don't see how knowing the sex or not changes that. We are not finding out this time partly because I might have a scheduled c-section and if we don't know the sex it will add some excitement. Last time it was like "oh, its a baby, hold my hair so I can barf". This time there will be some kind of anticipation there. Also it is our last child, we will never get this chance again. All of the real surprises I have had in life have been bad ones. I want great anticipation leading up to a good surprise.
They could possibly be wrong....and then have fun with all the pink or blue you have! My brother and a close friend were both told it was a girl and it ended up being a boy! What a headache!