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It's the most awful time of the year

bryanandkatrinabryanandkatrina member
in TTC After a Loss

I have been trying sooooooooo hard to get into the holiday spirit lately, but after this weekend I have just lost all hope Sad

I forgot how many FHs surface during this time of the year and take the opportunity to rub their FHness in my face. Since last Thursday I have been subjected to 7 pg announcements and 3 births, not including the countless FB posts and then all of the children and babies being paraded around in their "adorable [friggin] holiday outfits" so that everyone can ooooooooooh and coooooooooo over them Sad

We celebrated Christmas with my ILs and DHs grandmother yesterday (she's the most insensitive biotch in the entire world) and of course she couldn't keep her fvcking comments to herself.

To top it all off, I am feeling so incredibly fat and unattractive lately - I literally do not event want to go out into public, I feel so gross.

AND my stupid body won't get it's fvcking act together - I have no idea what's going on again this cycle and it looks like the Clomid may have been a total bust Crying

I'm so sorry ladies - I know that this time of the year is rough on all of us. I hate it, it's so unfair. I cannot imagine a more deserving group of woman and it just sucks that we're all in this situation.

((((HUGEHUGS))) for everyone.

/ventrant

* PAL/PgAL Bumpie & NBC-Twi Nestie * imageBloggity Blog BFP #1 in 2001 ? natural m/c @ 9w4d ? TTC our first since 2009 ? BFP #2 on 8/25/2010 ? natural M/C @ 7w6d on 9/25/2010 Clomid cycle #1 @ 50mg = BFP #3 on 1/1/11 ~ EDD 9/14/2011!!! Lilypie First Birthday tickers
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Re: It's the most awful time of the year

  • CashewsMommyCashewsMommy member

    (((((hugs)))))

    I know exactly how you feel.

    As for your cycle i'd give it a few more days. Have your OPKs looked like they've been getting darker? I was made aware that when people have long ass cycles as we do that sometimes it can take up to CD 26 - CD 28 for something to happen. I hope that O starts soon!


    BFP#1 {Cashew} - 9.19.09 EDD 5.26.10
    The day you first lay in my arms, you made my life complete.
    Aurora Rose born sleeping at 35w on 4-21-10
     BFP#2 {Almond} - 2.1.11 EDD 10.12.11 C/P 2.11.11

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  • cubsgirl13cubsgirl13 member
    Oh I am so sorry! I've been thinking about you. I saw yesterday that your temps weren't cooperating. And so many pregnancy announcements...it is so hard to deal with those. Big hugs!! I hope today is a little better for you!
    imageimage
    M/C #1 2001 (6w1d); M/C #2: 10/02/10 (4w4d); M/C #3 05/26/11 (4w3d) Clomid BFP #4 7/18/11 @ 9DPO Please baby stick! Beta #1 (11DPO)=51; Beta #2 (13DPO)=170; Beta #3 (19DPO)=2659!! EDD: 03/31/12
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  • bryanandkatrinabryanandkatrina member
    imageCashewsMommy:

    (((((hugs)))))

    I know exactly how you feel.

    As for your cycle i'd give it a few more days. Have your OPKs looked like they've been getting darker? I was made aware that when people have long ass cycles as we do that sometimes it can take up to CD 26 - CD 28 for something to happen. I hope that O starts soon!

    Thanks for the good thoughts Smile

    It's actually funny you should ask - I have been obsessing over my OPKs looking for a "fade-in" to my surge and for a while there is looked like it might happen... but lately, nothing. The test lines have become pretty much non existent the past few days Sad

    Before the loss I was a fairly regular O'er on CD28, so we were hoping that the Clomid would help to induce an earlier O - sadly that doesn't look like it's going to be the case, at this point I guess I am just hoping to O at all since I didn't O last cycle either.

    Sigh - is it 2011 yet?

    * PAL/PgAL Bumpie & NBC-Twi Nestie * imageBloggity Blog BFP #1 in 2001 ? natural m/c @ 9w4d ? TTC our first since 2009 ? BFP #2 on 8/25/2010 ? natural M/C @ 7w6d on 9/25/2010 Clomid cycle #1 @ 50mg = BFP #3 on 1/1/11 ~ EDD 9/14/2011!!! Lilypie First Birthday tickers
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  • bryanandkatrinabryanandkatrina member

    imagecubsgirl13:
    Oh I am so sorry! I've been thinking about you. I saw yesterday that your temps weren't cooperating. And so many pregnancy announcements...it is so hard to deal with those. Big hugs!! I hope today is a little better for you!

    Thanks lady Smile

    I get so excited when I see your ticker, you're so close to start testing!!!! I've got everything crossed for you, good luck tomorrow!

    * PAL/PgAL Bumpie & NBC-Twi Nestie * imageBloggity Blog BFP #1 in 2001 ? natural m/c @ 9w4d ? TTC our first since 2009 ? BFP #2 on 8/25/2010 ? natural M/C @ 7w6d on 9/25/2010 Clomid cycle #1 @ 50mg = BFP #3 on 1/1/11 ~ EDD 9/14/2011!!! Lilypie First Birthday tickers
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  • Izabella22Izabella22 member
    I'm with you, there is nothing easy about this time of year *HUGS*
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  • jen629jen629 member
    I am sorry {{{HUGS}}}
    Hold On ....Michael Buble
    MTHFR 2 copies of C677t mutation homozygous 2/2010
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    BabyFruit Ticker
    Baby A born via c-section 1/10/12 @38w3d
    BFP #1 11/4/09 m/c 4w3d baby crab
    BFP #2 12/4/09 m/c 9w3d baby lion
    BFP #3 7/1/10 m/c 4w1d baby fish
    BFP #4 5/8/11
    BFP #5 8/17/12 10dpo beta 7
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  • cutebride73cutebride73 member
    ((((hugs))))  I am so sorry.  I know it is so hard.  I dreaded opening up the Christmas card from Vince's cousin with the pictures of their brand new baby inside (that I knew would be there!).  It is just so frustrating!  More ((hugs)) for you. 
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  • ColleenS629ColleenS629 member
    I know how you feel. I can't even think about enjoying the holidays because every place I go, my 9 months pregnant cousin will be, reminding me that I should be over 6 months pregnant. Hugs!
    m/c 7/17/10
    Dx: MFI- 3% morph
    IUIs: Gonal-F + Ovidrel + b2b IUI= BFNs
    IVF with ICSI= BFP! EDD 11/25/11
    3/18- Beta #1 452! 3/20- Beta #2 1,026!! 3/27- First u/s- TWINS!
    Our twin boys arrived at 36w5d due to IUGR and a growth discordance

    FET: Medicated FET moved up to 5/23 due to ovulation
    Transferred a 6BB hatched blastocyst- genetically normal female embryo
    BFP! 5/28- 5dp6dt      
    6/1 Beta #1- 223! 6/3 Beta #2- 567!

    image

     Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.
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  • EricaK28EricaK28 member
    I am sorry you are going through this. Huge Hugs.
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  • LilMaggsLilMaggs member
    *huge hugs*  I hate this time of year, it's brutal for TTCAL'ers.
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  • jolieandscottjolieandscott

    (((Hugs)))

    If I could hibernate right now, I totally would.

    BFP #1: 5/3/10 Natural MC: 5/11/10 BFP #2: 3/24/11 C/p: 3/29/11 BFP #3: 5/17/11 C/P: 5/20/11 BFP #4: 11/13/11 Daisypath Anniversary tickersImage and video hosting by TinyPic imageImage and video hosting by TinyPic ~*~Congrats to my TTCAL buddies toshbosh233 & clairenmonique, EDDs 4/2011; bekahjen, EDD 5/2011; MCH77, EDD 7/2011; HokieMomma, EDD 8/2011; shanna82, EDD 9/2011; Rachel4127, EDD 10/2011~*~
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  • PachitaPachita member

    Hang in there. Don't lose hope on your cycle yet.  You  might be ovulating late....it seems that  A LOT of us Oed late this cycle. 

    ((HUGS))

    BFP#1: 7/14/10.  EDD: 3/19/11--MMC-- D&C 9/2/10.
    BFP#2: 12:22/10.EDD: 8/30/11 C/P 12/25/10
    BFP#3: 10/26/11 EDD: 7/2/12-- Daniel born 7/14/12. My rainbow baby!                                                                                                                                           BFP #4:  2.22/15 EDD: 11/4/15 C/P 2/28/15                                                                                                                                                                                      BFP #5:  4/5/15   EDD 12/11/15 (Ectopic Pregnancy)

    BFP #6: 3/2/16 EDD 11/5/16
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    <a href="http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Baby Names"><img src="http://global.thebump.com/tickers/tt1cfe4e" alt=" BabyFetus Ticker" border="0"  /></a>


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  • Gilgenbach2007Gilgenbach2007 member

    ((big hugs))  I'm so sorry, I know how you feel.  Feel free to vent away here.  I hope you O soon.

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  • damabo80damabo80 member
    Huge hugs, I'm so sorry Sad


    BFP #1 via IUI ~ L (Fatal Birth Defect) 4/7/10
    BFP #2 via IUI ~ m/c
    BFP #3 via cancelled IUI ~ C (2lb 3oz; HELLP) 5/16/11
    BFP #4 via the natural (free!) way ~ E (8lb 11oz) 9/13/12
    image







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  • TeamR&BTeamR&B member
    (((Hugs)))  When you're TTCAL, it's definitely not the most wonderful time of the year.  At least it's almost over and 2011 is almost here!!
    Anniversary BFP #1: 5-20-10, m/c 5-29-10 @ 5w6d BFP #2: 8-04-10, missed m/c discovered 8-31-10, d&c 9-02-10 BFP #3: 4-08-11 ~ EDD: 12-16-11 Praying that the third time's a charm... Please get comfy & stick around LO!
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  • butterfly843butterfly843
    Sending big hugs.

    Jenn

    image 3 IUI's all BFN

    IVF#1 BFN IVF#2 BFP, loss at 19 weeks FET#1 BFN IVF#3 BFP, m/c FET#2 BFN

    Missing our twins Zachary and Madison, lost at 19 weeks on 11/13/09, edd 4/9/10

    BFP 7/17/10, m/c 7/25/10, edd 3/25/11

    Ectopic, lost left tube 4/20/11, edd 12/6/11

    my blog

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  • blondie2167blondie2167

    I am so right there with you! This holiday season has been the saddest one ever... my DB and I MC right before thanksgiving and I was so excited AF arrived and we could TTC again but my body is not cooperating and I think I Oed already and missed it??? But I have no clue cuz my CM is not changing?? Ugh! Now I get to go to visit my IL's and listen to both my SIL's talk about being PG and hold their bellies.. it doesnt help that they dont tone it down or talk less about it when I am there! Its like they dont even care I am hurting! and FB is the worst I have seen more baby pics with little santa hats then i need to see in a life time! Ba Hum Bug! :(

     

    ((((Hugs)))))

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
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  • SheriBTSheriBT member
    I am so sorry *hugs*. 
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