Parenting after 35

Non-clicky poll: Ask your DH if they would be ok...

if you bought your son a doll for xmas.  Or better yet go buy one and bring it home.  And for those of you with only girls, ask your DH how they would react if you gave a boy a doll.  The responses to my thread yesterday got me wondering how well we really know our husbands on this issue.  My DH is really reasonable, not homophobic or prone to gender stereotyping, and I was shocked by his reaction to the doll.  I'm just curious how his reaction compares to others...well, that and I'm trying to find ways to pass my time stuck indoors this weekend with a bored toddler while we get 3-6 feet of snow! Crying
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Re: Non-clicky poll: Ask your DH if they would be ok...

  • My DH and I talked about this already--there was thread on the toddler board once that prompted the discussion.  He's fine with a boy having dolls, play kitchens, etc.  S plays with trucks and dinosaurs all the time. 

    We were actually going to put the new baby in a pink room whether it was a boy or a girl because we rent, so we can't paint the extra bedroom, and we didn't want to make S switch rooms (her room is sage green).

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  • I just asked my DH and he said "NO BABY DOLLS!"  Action figures are OK but no dolls. Apparently nurturing a baby doll will turn Aaron gay. But nurturing a stuffed Elmo doll won't.  And now DH is worried that you'll all think he's a nut?and he is. (But he's MY nut.)

    I don't get his mentality. HE was hands on with Aaron from day one. Changed diapers. Rocked him. Fed him.  (Though he gets frustrated more often and today he snapped at Aaron when he fought a diaper change.) DH is a great cook. He'd be fine with a play kitchen and plans to teach Aaron to cook at an early age. But he is against baby dolls

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  • My DH and BiL are both sitting here so I asked them. Neither would have any issue it.

    BiL's comment was- "Would you rather have him grow up wanting to nurture or kill stuff?"

    DH said "It might be a little weird if it was one of those dolls with the matching dress for him to wear, but if he's having fun with it who cares. Is he homophobic?"

    As a side note though- one of their other brothers is gay, so they are a little more open minded and aren't of the opinion that gay is the end of the world. 

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  • imagekimisuejoia:

    My DH and BiL are both sitting here so I asked them. Neither would have any issue it.

    BiL's comment was- "Would you rather have him grow up wanting to nurture or kill stuff?"

    DH said "It might be a little weird if it was one of those dolls with the matching dress for him to wear, but if he's having fun with it who cares. Is he homophobic?"

    As a side note though- one of their other brothers is gay, so they are a little more open minded and aren't of the opinion that gay is the end of the world. 

    No he is not!  That's what so wierd.  He's socially very liberal (pro-choice, anti-Prop8, etc.) and my best friend is a gay male so I just don't get DH's reaction.  However, he is 53 years old...

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  • It's easy for your DH to say "no dolls" now when your DS is under two, but what about when he's older?  What if he asks for a doll when he's four?  How will your DH explain his "no dolls" policy to your DS then?  And how will you feel about that?

    If S asks for a play workbench when she's three, I'm fine with getting her one, and I would be really upset if DH had a problem with it.  FWIW, we have a toy stroller and every little boy that comes over for a play date plays with it.  Little kids like to push things around :)

  • imagemrszee2b:

    My DH and I talked about this already--there was thread on the toddler board once that prompted the discussion.  He's fine with a boy having dolls, play kitchens, etc.  S plays with trucks and dinosaurs all the time. 

    We were actually going to put the new baby in a pink room whether it was a boy or a girl because we rent, so we can't paint the extra bedroom, and we didn't want to make S switch rooms (her room is sage green).

    I don't remember that thread...so what was the consensus?

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  • Rom has no issue with it, but he's not 53, either.  He's a sensitive, non-traditional European, though.
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  • imagemtnrider:
    imagemrszee2b:

    My DH and I talked about this already--there was thread on the toddler board once that prompted the discussion.  He's fine with a boy having dolls, play kitchens, etc.  S plays with trucks and dinosaurs all the time. 

    We were actually going to put the new baby in a pink room whether it was a boy or a girl because we rent, so we can't paint the extra bedroom, and we didn't want to make S switch rooms (her room is sage green).

    I don't remember that thread...so what was the consensus?

    It was on the 24+ board.  A little boy would only drink out of a pink Dora sippy cup and when his dad found out he got upset and wanted the mom to take the sippy cup away and give the kid something more boyish.  It turned into a discussion about gender stereotyping.  The consensus on that one was that the DH was being ridiculous and that letting the little boy drink out of a pink cup was not a big deal at all.

    Every couple of months there's a discussion about dolls or playkitchens for boys on the 24+ board because the older toddlers start asking for specific items or showing strong preferences for things sometimes.

  • I asked DH and his response was, "No! That would be totally gay. Dolls will make him gay. He can only play with guns. Guns and speedboats." Wink

    That was DH's way of saying it was a stupid question and he would be fine with M playing with dolls.

  • imagePeppernut:
    Rom has no issue with it, but he's not 53, either.  He's a sensitive, non-traditional European, though.
    Hehe... So is my non-doll hating Steve.
  • all 3 of my boys have their own CPK doll that loooks like them- they love them!

    we had a stroller for them, too, but it broke - so santa is getting them a new one... it's blue - not pink - nothing girly about it.  they have pretend baby bottles, too and love to "feed" the babies.

    what is girly about being a daddy??? My husband has no problem with it. my DH is a great, involved dad - he loves seeing the boys pretend to be one, too!

    we also have a play kitchen with tons of pretend food.

  • Yeah DH has no problem with a play kitchen, and S even has a Dora sippy cup so I don't know what the issue is with dolls!  I asked him if he'd have a problem with a girl playing with traditional "boy" toys and he said no way...double-standard much?
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  • imagerobynlesley:

    I just asked my DH and he said "NO BABY DOLLS!"  Action figures are OK but no dolls. Apparently nurturing a baby doll will turn Aaron gay. But nurturing a stuffed Elmo doll won't.  And now DH is worried that you'll all think he's a nut?and he is. (But he's MY nut.)

    I don't get his mentality. HE was hands on with Aaron from day one. Changed diapers. Rocked him. Fed him.  (Though he gets frustrated more often and today he snapped at Aaron when he fought a diaper change.) DH is a great cook. He'd be fine with a play kitchen and plans to teach Aaron to cook at an early age. But he is against baby dolls

    Well Robyn I guess our husbands are the old fogeys of the group! Embarrassed

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  • Oooh, Cabbage Patch kids!  Would that fly, do you think, replacing the "creepy" baby doll with a cpk for christmas?
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  • Grant is getting a CPK for Christmas. Its already wrapped & under the tree! DH does want LO to have a variety of toys. If a doll is one of his toys, that's okay. He also has a kitchen set.

    FWIW, there will be TONS of guns and blowing stuff up as LO gets older. . . . LO will want to pretend to be daddy (who is in explosives disposal).
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  • Yeah I guess I could get him a CPK.  I have a feeling the creepy Chucky doll is gonna end up out in the snow soon anyway.  I was carrying it around in my arms this morning along with S and it looked like I was carrying twins (doll is the same size as S)...just to get a rise out of DH...and he was not amused!   Big Smile
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  • DH just came home after shopping for Matt and was all excited the local toy store had a section on cooking and cleaning. Matt is still a cleaning fanatic and DH was thinking of getting the Dyson vacuum cleaner and a mop. 

    I tried to buy Matt a doll once and DH had a problem because it was a darker skinned doll. DH said I was trying too hard to make sure Matt didn't grow up with any racial biases.  DH said Matt needed a couple of dolls with different skin tones.

    So this is my long-winded way of me saying my DH is totally open minded about toys for Matt.

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  • I just asked my DH and he said "Aren't those My Buddy dolls for boys?"  So I asked him if it would be okay if it were a boyish doll and he said yes.  I just stared at him for a few minutes and he said he didn't think he'd really have a problem with it, didn't think it would affect our son much.  I am reading this as he is sort of instinctively uncomfortable with the idea but aware that it is silly and stupid to be uncomfortable with it so is saying he is not.
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  • imagemtnrider:
    [Well Robyn I guess our husbands are the old fogeys of the group! Embarrassed

    I'm glad I'm not alone being married to a caveman. Oy.

    He is ridiculous sometimes.

    I'm going to have to buy Aaron a Cabbage Patch Kid (took me a while to figure out what CPK stood for) or something just to annoy him. And if I bring it to the office, he'll never know.

    Mwahahahaha!

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  • Tim does not have a problem with dolls.  He had one as a child and we bought my nephew his first doll, who he named Bagel.
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