It feels like everyone is against me, long

chocopotamus · December 2010

So I am BF/pumping. As of right now I have a clogged duct with possible mastitis, which I'm currently on antibiotics for. If it's not better by Monday I have to go see a surgeon. Before this everything was going really well. Since the plug is so painful sometimes I get really emotional during nursing/pumping, and my DH has been supportive but he's getting tired of seeing me in pain and upset, and keeps mentioning formula. I want to do whats best for my LO, and I want to make it to 6 months. And it doesn't help that formula is SO expen$ive. And I don't want to quit unless I have no choice.

For some reason my mother gives me such a hassle about BF, especially since LO is in a growth spurt and I'm either attatched to him or the pump. And when she heard about the possibility of surgery she freaked. "All this b/c you want to BF!?!?!" And theres constant remarks about me being like a dairy cow.

I am sorry but I thought I was doing the best for my son, and to hear the negative remarks doesn't make this any easier, especially since I'm so sore and emotional. It's like my mother wants me to quit, I just don't understand why people don't support this? I feel so hopeless. Sad

callmebritney114 · December 2010

You are doing what right for your son! Keep going for as long as you can and don't let the people around you get you down.

humynone · December 2010

I'm sorry they aren't being more supportive. I've found the older generation that was all FF has a hard time understanding BF'ing and just thinks their way was better, even when it might not be. YOU CAN DO IT!!!! And it is worth trying

Hopefully you can get over this infection hurdle with brighter, warm nursing days ahead. In future, be sure to wash your hands after every diaper change and keep nice fresh, dry pads available and change them often, and get LO to empty the breast often during the day (even if that means feeding off one side at a feeding). Might help?

I've also heard warm compresses and massaging the lump can help (and no underwire bras or restrictive tops). Take a little ibuprofen for the pain if needed, it's compatible with BF'ing.

danienross · December 2010

i agree with PP. you are doing what is best. our mom's just grew up in a different generation. i'm sure as a mom she made some sacrifices to parent the way she wanted and took criticism. i just wish our parents would remember that before they open their mouths sometimes. hang in there for as long as you can! but try not to stress too much (easier said than done) because you need to be happy too!

dafodils_lament · December 2010

Sorry that you are going through this. Mastitis sucks. Definitely try warm compresses and massasging the breast if you can it really does help.

I do find it a shame that people are not more supportive of breastfeeding/pumping when that's what mom wants to do. You can do it.

mrsz2008 · December 2010

It must be a normal thing for moms who FF to not be supportive of their daughter Bf. My mom is the same way. Everytime I have a complaint or concern she immediately jumps and says I should just hive him formula. It's ridiculous!

ColoRxGirl · December 2010

I'm sorry you're struggling. This process is hard enough without adding clogged ducts and mastitis. In lieu of warm compresses, I just used a heating pad (on the lowest setting) against my breast whenever I laid down to rest. This helped with the pain and released the duct. Hang in there and I hope you feel better soon.

emriley84 · December 2010

I had mastitis when my son was 3 weeks old too. It sucks, but once you get past it, things should get much better! I'm sorry you don't have the support you need. You are doing a great thing for your baby! Hugs momma

wifeandmama · December 2010

OH honey, I'm so sorry! Hang in there! You are a rockstar! Keep up what you are doing... massage that duct as much as you can stand and keep nursing. Know you have a lot of support on here! Check out kellymom.com and tell your husband NOT to make mention of formula again if it's hurting you!

m&m2006 · December 2010

when i had trouble BF'ing in the hospital, my mom was all about formula. i was a formula fed baby, and my sister who has 3 month old twins couldn't bf, so used formula. it was hard to keep hearing that from my mom, especially when i was trying so hard to make bf'ing work. just try to put what your mom says out of your head...and do what's best for your family.

caityr · December 2010

I agree with m & m although my mom and MIL for that matter both were power bf-ers with dh and I so I had huge support-so I really feel for you as I know how rewarding this can be w a family who supports u. You need to trust that YOU know what right for u and lo. This experience is truly priceless-dont miss out on it b/c of some preconceived notions by family or friends. I have NO friends who BF, the one who did caved to peer pressure so I am the lone BFer but I dont care-she is my baby and I know I am doing the best for her. Good luck mama! And the women on this board are here for you.

Jessesgirl43 · December 2010

I agree with the PP who said that our parents are just of a different generation who think that formula is just as good for babies. Good for you for wanting to give your son the best (breast milk). You are at a super tough stage because you're still going through all those post partum hormonal shifts that make it tough to have a hopeful/normal perspective on things - I think you will emotionally feel more like your old self in a few more weeks (I did at about 6 weeks). Also, mastitis is awful! I had it when my son was 6 weeks old. I was EPing at the time, and I nearly gave up up on giving my son BM at that stage...but someone on here encouraged me to keep going as long as I could without any long range goals (I had wanted to make it to at least six months) and just look at it like this: every bit of breast milk I/we give our LOs is one less bottle of formula they're going to get. So from that point on I just took it day by day and said...I can give my son BM for today. I am so glad I didn't give up when I had mastitis because things did get soooo much easier after that. I had new clogged ducts every day during the first six weeks but since the six week mark, I've had barely any, and I haven't gotten mastitis again.

I'm sorry that you're going through this, and whatever you decide to do, things are going to get better. It's tough when the people around you don't support your choices! With clogged ducts I found that heat and massaging the sore spots (ouch!) did the trick most times. I hope it clears up and you feel better soon.

searcy7 · December 2010

You are doing great keep it up as long as you can.

I am glad my mom is supportive and so is my DH. I give myself enough problems for us all. Its not that I don't enjoy BFing its just sometimes I get down because I cannot take my antispasmotics for my stomach problem and stay in a lot of pain. On days I want to quit they both say you are doing good so far but do what is best for you.

Cheerio B · December 2010

I'm so sorry you're going through this. You're an amazing Mommy for working so hard to do what you believe it right for you baby. Maybe once everyone sees how hard you're willing to work for this they'll realize it's important and back off. I hope BF gets easier for you. Stay strong Momma.

FraggleRockin247 · December 2010

BFing is definitely a great thing you can do for your child. Even if your family doesn't support you, we definitely do here! Be proud of yourself, you are doing a great thing for your baby.

mesr · December 2010

keep it up! you are giving a wonderful gift to your baby! feel free to come here whenever you need a boost, because the ladies on this board will certainly support you.

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