August 2011 Moms

POLL: To tell in this situation?

As quickly as I can: DH & I moved from Texas to Pittsburgh a little over a year ago, and we're on our way back home for Christmas. We will be seeing a lot of good friends in person (who I likely won't see again for the remainder of the pregnancy). They all know about my previous miscarriage/complications (we told everyone what was going on). If we miscarry again, they will all hear about it; DH & I are very open about everything. Would you go ahead and tell them in person, or still keep it a secret?

I'm really leaning towards telling (but emphasizing that we could still lose the baby- don't get too excited). I figure I don't want to live this whole pregnancy in fear... wouldn't it be better to enjoy it while I can & deal with heartache when/if it comes? Am I crazy??? Thoughts?? 

(Might be a P&R! We're about to head to bed before finishing the drive to Texas!) 

[Poll]

Re: POLL: To tell in this situation?

  • I would tell but I have not had any losses.  We are telling our family on Christmas day and our friends will probably find out shortly after that.  I'm not sure when we are going to start posting on FB though.  Maybe once I have an ultrasound picture.  

    We told with DD right away and everything turned out okay, but for some reason, I'm being super cautious telling people this time around.  Maybe just because we decided to wait for Christmas to tell our family (almost a month after we got our BFP.)

    Whatever you choose, I hope you have a great holiday! :o

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  • If you'll tell them about any possible complications, then why not share the joy now? Really, other than trying to not let the world know if a m/c happens, I don't see any reason to keep a pg secret.

  • imagetheresat858:

    If you would share bad news with them (or have), certainly let them enjoy the good news!  Let them celebrate with you.

    This is exactly how I feel.We told a lot of our friends at 5 weeks. They all know we have struggled with IF for 2 1/2 years and have been there for us. If something happens this pregnancy they would be my support system so I didn't see a reason not to tell.  

    imageBaby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • I would tell. My opinion on this has changed over time after having IF and an m/c over the summer.  I would rather have people know so they can share the joy and also if anything bad were to happen.  I feel more comfortable with people knowing so they can ask questions rather than insensitive comments.
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  • We were wondering this too.  We're going to see DH's parents, brothers and their wives for Christmas - I'll be 6 weeks by then.  I don't know the next time we'll see them in person since they all live so far away - probably next summer sometime.  We're leaning more towards telling them in person - I just hate that it's so early!
    Married 7.5.08
    BFP 12/10/10 - DD1 8/16/11
    BFP 10/29/13 - c/p 11/2/13
    BFP 11/29/13 - DD2 7/18/14
    BFP 3/20/18 - DS1 due 12/2/18
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