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2nd Trimester
Anyone finding out the sex, but not telling?
Is anyone else doing this? We would like to find out, but we want to keep the sex a big secret from everyone else. I don't know one person that has done this. My friends are already giving me flak for not telling them, and my mom is in denial that we're going to actually keep it a secret.
Just wondering if there are others out there like us!
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Re: Anyone finding out the sex, but not telling?
sorry.. your post made me think of this video I saw yesterday.
Can I ask why you want to know but NOT tell anyone else?
I thought about not finding out, but decided I can't wait. And if I knew, I can't imagine keeping it from anyone else for that long. But, that's just me. If I had someone through me a shower, I might as well get gender specific things than gender neutral.
We thought about doing this - but if you do it means you can't put any color/gender-specific things on your gift registry, and end up having to possibly do a lot more shopping later on than you planned.
What we did with DD was tell the gender, but didn't tell anyone the name (even though we knew it months in advance) until she was born. That sufficed as the "big surprise" for everyone.
A friend of mine has maintained that they don't know IRL, but I found her on thebump and it seems pretty clear that they know which team they are on! I'd say the best way to pull this off is to not tell anyone that you even know, that way they can't guilt you or try to 'figure it out.'
Good luck!
We know and arent telling!! We didnt find out the first time around.. But this pregnancy we decided to find out.. Any one who asks we just say we told the ultra sound tech that we wanted to be surprised...Which isnt a lie because we did tell her that and we asked her just to put it in an envelope and we would decide to open it or not..
I like the idea of people not knowing.. It gives everyone something else to look forward to.. For us personally we dont share our names with anyone.. We just like the idea of everyone being surprised!
HAHA I have a coworker who follows me around singing this!
I'm keeping quiet on names, but not gender. Personally I think it's kinda silly to find out and not tell anyone - it's a total smug moment. I'm not sure that the world is as excited as we are to find out...kinda like what the song says
Exactly. As much as I love my baby and my mom and dad are going to love it, I'm don't feel the need to 'surprise' them.. like they have nothing else going on in their lives and my baby is the ONLY thing that matters.
I know our family and friends were excited to find out the baby's sex, but I can't imagine they were excited enough to the point to need something "to look forward to" by us not telling them. Seems ridiculously silly. I'm glad they know. I'm not a very good secret keeper, and since this pregnancy seems to be all either of our families want to discuss, it'd be way too hard to keep from them.
Plus, my MIL made a sadface when we announced it was a girl. Better in her kitchen than at the hospital.
DH really did not want to find out teh sex, and I did. So this is our compromise. We also have always been dead-set on not telling our names to anyone anyway. I don't really want too many gender-specific things, to be honest. I want as many gender-neutral things as possible so I can re-use them for future children. Plus we have so many hand-me-down clothes to choose from. (Also, I really really can't stand overly girly or boyish things - pink everything or trucks/sports on everything = gag! just my own tastes)
I'm not doing it to be smug, I just think that it's fun to know the sex and pick a name and bond with your daughter/son. And, to me, it's also fun to let it be a surprise for everyone else. Just my opinions.
A friend did this, but then she called a week after they found out and was telling me that "she kept karate chopping her bladder" with all her kicks and movements. DUH!!!
So, you obviously have to be very careful.
I agree with one of the above posts, don't tell anyone that you know... or better yet, just be surprised, being team green is truly amazing.
I definitely don't expect anyone else to be as excited as we are (except maybe our parents?). When I hear a friend is having a boy or girl, I always think, "oh, that's nice." Which is pretty much what I would expect other people to think if we told the gender.... which is why I think keeping it to ourselves is no big deal. (We're not trying to shove it in people's faces that they can't know LOL)
I think what we're doing is at least better than a "gender reveal party" or making a cake with pink or blue on the inside. I know some people really like that stuff, but it's totally not my style at all.
We plan on using both pronouns - he/him and her/she.
To each their own, just my opinion. The only reason I keep names a secret is because people are mean and judgy and I want that to be a fun decision for my fiance and I - not where we get hurt and second guess ourselves. I think the little holiday gender-reveal stories I'm hearing about are very cute, and I agree with the people who have said to pretend you haven't found out yourself. I'm sure I'm not the only one who gets the squinty eyed looks and they faux-offended huffs when friends/co-workers ask: what are you going to name it? and I say I'm not telling. I want to hide under a table! I swear I'm not doing it to be like neener-neener I know something you don't knowww! ...I just don't want any comments
As for the gender - I still don't know. That much is true.
My only advice would be to not tell anyone that you know the sex. (but it sounds like you already told your friends/ family your plan so this might not work). If people know that you know, they're going to be a PITA and constantly trying to get it out of you/ reading into everything you say in order to try to figure it out. If they think that you don't know, they probably won't bug you as much.?
We're Team Green, but I considered finding out and just not telling anyone for a little bit. I don't think there is anything wrong with doing that, and I don't think it's smug or AWish to do it that way. Just do what you want!
We did it with the twins. We never told anyone and honestly, I loved having it that way. It only got difficult around 30 weeks when Ella was diagnosed as IUGR and I kept having to refer to her as baby B.
We're team green this time but if we do end up finding out, we're going to do the same thing and not tell anyone.
I would echo the pp who said to not tell your family/friends that you've found out. We had friends who found out, but didn't tell anyone. In fact, they kind of did rub it in everyone's faces that they knew. And it backfired on them. Their families, especially, bugged them non-stop to spill the beans. They told us that if they had to do it over again, they would find out, but not tell anyone they did.
We're team green, but considered finding out and not telling. It wasn't about being smug. 1st - like OP, I didn't want others to know because I don't want an explosion of pink or blue. I'd rather get the neutral things now and be able to use them with future babies, plus the pink and blue is inevitable when baby arrives. 2nd - I think it would have been really nice and sweet for the baby's sex to be DH and my little secret, something that we shared only with each other.
In the end, we doubted our ability to keep the secret, so we decided not to find out.
I would agree that if you go this route, DON'T tell people that you know the sex.
That is sooooooo AWish.
I mean, I can imagine valid reasons for wanting to find out the sex and not tell others, but I can think of no good reason (besides being a smug AW) to do the whole "we know but we're not telling!" thing.