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Babies: 9 - 12 Months
SAH vs working...best timing...long post
For those of you with older kids (in addition to your 9-12 month olds) or those of you who have sisters/friends with older kids, I am soliciting your advice!
I am a working mom, and work because I choose to. I enjoy what I do and am good at it, and working gives me a much needed outlet from just being a wife and mom; I also enjoy making my own money and having my own retirement account. I've been lucky that so far our child care situation has worked out - when I went back to work after maternity leave, my mom watched DD for a few months, then I started working at home and we have an FT nanny. Shortly I will go back to the office FT and DD is going to a day care that I am very happy with, and I think she will love it. So, for this child, so far, it is working out.
However, at some point, I feel that I will need to take a short (2-3 year) break from my paid work. I had been planning to do this when we have baby #2, simply because I can't bear the thought of putting a 3 month old in day care or having an in home nanny when I am not here (my mom or others won't be available again for FT child care). In sharing these thoughts with a girl in my neighborhood, she said "oh no honey, keep working! It's much harder to work when they are older and need to be driven to ballet, soccer, etc!"
So that got me thinking. Is it easier to take a break when they are very small, or when they are school age?
You are probably wondering why I'm thinking about this now, when we don't even have another baby yet. Well, I need to make some long term career decisions shortly, and those decisions will impact if I can take a break or not. If I choose choice A it would mean that I really couldn't take a break for about 5 years. If I choose choice B it's more flexible, meaning I could take a break sooner if needed, but it's not as interesting or lucrative.
Any advice you all can share would be really appreciated. TIA!
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Re: SAH vs working...best timing...long post
I'm taking my "break" now... BUT... I also have a career that lends itself to being available for driving kids to practice, appts, etc. Being in sales, (as long as I get back into field sales) I can make my own schedules.
For me I wanted to be here to see all the firsts, and that I will. I don't even know that we'll have more than one LO, so I figured I better get my staying-home on now. ;D
GL in your decision!!
I don't have older kids, but I chose to take the break now (although I continue to work on a very part time basis). I plan on returning to full time work when LO #2 starts full time school. However, I have grandparents that live close by and are very involved, I have a career where flexible hours are possible, my DH doesn't work a traditional work schedule and is home one day during the week and gets home by 3pm some days, etc. I like that I'm here when they're young since they need me 24/7. That wont be the case when they're in school. Plus, from a financial standpoint I love that I'm not paying tens of thousands of dollars a year to put my child into daycare.
It's tough to say what is right for your family/your situation. From my family members that do have older kids and work full time, it seems like they are able to balance work and activities just fine since most things don't run during the workday (or it's easy to find activities that aren't around those times).
If I had the choice I would stay home while my children were young and return to work when they are school age.
I would enjoy seeing all of their firsts. It would be fantastic to save thousands on childcare. I would feel more confident about trusting someone else to look after my child when they have stronger communication skills. I LOVE DS's babysitter, but I know he cannot tell me what goes on when I am not with him.
When your children are old enough for school and activities you will have added expenses and working at that time would help with that. Also while your children are at school you will have several free hours each day. I agree that you are busier transporting kids here, there, and everywhere when they are older- but you will deal with that while working regardless unless you are taking off 10+ years.
I have two older children that, at the time, I had to work full time both while they were younger and when they were is school. Now I am a SAHM with the triplets (my 16 year old is still at home as well). I would much rather be home while they are younger and work when they are in school. Either way, when they get into school there will be a lot of running around. The older they get, the more hectic the schedule seems to become. You also will see them less and less as they get older between friends, school, sports/ extracurricular activities, and then when they start driving they love to be out.
It's a personal choice though. I missed all the little things with my older children because I had to work all the time, and am very lucky and grateful to be able to enjoy it with the triplets.
Good luck on whatever you choose.
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