WWYD, going back to work related.

hooliface · December 2010

Ok, here is the scoop. I stopped working about 2 months before DD was born. I worked LONG hours and it SUCKED commuting from the burbs to Chicago everyday. The weather was horrible, etc. I have not gone back since.

DD is 3 now and I have thought about going back at some points over the last few months but never really thought too much about it. We are in the process of doing IVF with donor eggs, which is all OOP. We live very comfortably on DH's wage but the IVF with donor eggs is going to be a ton of money oop.

I called an old work friend to see if she knew of any available positions and she had one. It would be Mon-Fri 8-530 and weekends as needed. So, my concerns are as follows:

1. Full day preschool will cost $1400 a month and if you are late it is $1.00 a min for the first 5 min and then $5.00 a min for each min after that.....YIKES. Driving from the city is a pain in the ASS so I could be late a couple times a week.

2. Leaving poor DD all those hours and getting her at 630 each night and she goes to bed at 7. I would hardly see her at all.

3. DH travels for work here and there so I could be really pushing it some nights to get her, I would have no options.

4. I would have to pay for parking ($20.00 a day), Dry cleaning, lunches, train tickets if I did not drive, gas money, etc.

I feel really sick about all this, seriously. I have not told DH about it yet. What should I do. Forget the entire thing or go next week and meet with them to see what it's all about?

CHI-06 · December 2010

Well if it were me and we were living comfortably on DH salary and just needed help paying for IVF I would get a part time job closer to home.

I commute to Chicago everyday as well and get home 6:15 and it is hard and tiring and I wish I could be at home with my girls.

Good luck!

OrangeSmoke · December 2010

I guess the question would be - how much are you going to be making? (and I don't really want to know, but you list a lot of $$ related things, so if you aren't coming out ahead, there is really no point, right?)

Is there a way you could work from home a few days a week? Even one day would help so you wouldn't have to stress about picking up DD.

sommerrayne · December 2010

Is the IVF something you could save for or pay off monthly? I think jumping back into work full time (to the point where you see your kid less than an hour a day) for a potentially one-time expense seems a bit drastic.

If you think about it this way: Are you going to go back to work for 4 months (or whatever time would be required to pay off IVF debt) and then quit? That's not good for networking, future opportunities, or future need (as in, if you ever REALLY needed to go back due to massive hardship and you screwed the pooch on this company who clearly has immediate openings).

If you intend to stay longer than the IVF debt timeline: When you get PG from this IVF, what if its multiples? What if you're put on bedrest? Are you going to be wanting to commute massively tired, not seeing DD, and paying all of that $ out in childcare?

Furthermore, you can say "I might have to pay more money because I'm late sometimes" but a lot of childcare places only allow late a few times and then un-enroll you. I used to run (director level) childcare programs and would be massively P!SSED off when parents would use our "punishment for being late" policy as extended-extended care.

Just a few things that immediately came to mind that ought to be given a thought or two

NOT an easy decision by any means!

choco_lab · December 2010

I think it just comes down to .. do you want to work full-time or do you want to SAH? But personally, if I was planning on starting up an IVF I wouldn't get into a discussion of going back to work right now. You say are you OK with DH's wage so cut back on stuff while you do the IVF and you will find the $. Why the interest now if you haven't worked for 3 years? Just because there's a job available? I'd wait until you see the outcome of the IVF and then re-explore.

hooliface · December 2010

Thank you to those that answered me. I know this is a rather drastic difference in what I am doing now. I LOVE LOVE LOVE staying at home, but it is the guilt of not "making money" on my own that I could be contributing for the IVF costs.

We have done a ton with TTC #2 that we spent a ton of money, maxed out all insurance money, etc. We have done 12 IUI and 3 IVF that were oop after about the 6th IUI, so you can imagine what it has cost. Thankfully we have not really tapped into savings for this at all.......until now.

I just wanted to some way give towards this IVF. I am so glad that I have written the post because it really does not make much sense to do, I guess I just needed someone else to tell me that!

Thanks ladies

BoxTer · December 2010

It sounds like you don't really want to go back to work. If it were me, I'd at least meet with them to get more details, but I'm probably biased because I work and would go crazy SAH. I figure it can't hurt to just see wha they have to say - you're not obligated to take the job and it might help to justify your decision more either way.

charmcitygirl · December 2010

CHI-06:
Well if it were me and we were living comfortably on DH salary and just needed help paying for IVF I would get a part time job closer to home.

This!

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