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Adoption
Extreme Anxiety over Foster/Adopt Homestudy
I need some serious advice. I'm having extreme homestudy anxiety. We are working through the Dept of Social and Health Services for foster/adopt in our state, and its very stressful. We've been assigned an inspector to check our home and do the homestudy, but she doesn't seem to be very invested in us. I requested another social worker, but was told I would have to resubmit all of our documentation and training if I did that (about 50 hours of class and paperwork). I don't know what to do. I'm not able to sleep, having trouble eating and have been nesting like a crazy woman. My doctor actually prescribed anxiety medication. I know I just need to calm down, but we've already dealt with infertility and 1 failed domestic adoption.....my nerves are shot! How did you cope??
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Re: Extreme Anxiety over Foster/Adopt Homestudy
We went into it knowing that no one was out to "fail" us in our homestudy, but wanted us to be good parents. We just made sure the house was in good shape. But we did domestic adoption, not foster/adopt.
I would think that you may get dinged for a few things, but they should be things that are easily fixable.
GL.
Ditto Dr. L. Unless there is something in your past that would raise a major red flag regarding the safety of children in your home (think past criminal history, violent behavior, etc.), you will most likely not be "failed." Any other concerns that arise will be brought to your attention, and you will be able to address them. As long as the social worker sees that you have fixed the problem or have a plan in place to correct/work on it, you will be fine.
People aren't perfect, and they are not looking for perfection. They just want to make sure any children placed in your home will be safe. If you don't have the right number of carbon monoxide detectors or something, they will just tell you, and you will have to install them before they issue their final report. This is a process, not a one time pass or fail inspection.
It sounds to me like your more nervouse because the SW isn't getting her butt in gear and making your family a priority.
I know how you feel- Our adoption worker is kinda doing the same thing.
I'd send her an email and just say- I'm looking for a time line when you might fit us in your schedual. We're very excited to get a placement and start being parents. Is there anything else you need us to do while we wait?
If you get no response or she continues to put you off, call her supervisor. Ask what the normal wait time is? explain the situation and see if supervisor can help you out.
Also, How long have you really been waiting? What stage are you at? have you filled out the paperwork and now are waiting to have your in person interviews? Have you taken the tests yet?
Are you my twin?
We are having our foster/adopt homestudy in 2 days and I just started meds for anxiety. I've actually felt very calm about the whole process and randomly get very bad anxiety, not sure what it's related to.
Today is Day 3 of the meds and I already feel more calm/sane.
Don't focus so much on the end result (adoption) and try to enjoy the journey. You will be able to help the children placed in your home and enjoy their company until your forever LO comes along.
If it's the SW causing you stress, just remember that they deal with a lot of families all the time and may not be totally invested in any of those families. Make sure you have everything ready in order to meet the home inspection standards and be honest during the home study. Try to make the best of the situation with your SW, it may make a difference in his/her attitude towards you.
Two Mommies Healing Hearts