2nd Trimester

the nerve of some people

So last night I posted a 22 weeks 5 days bump pic on Facebook.  Many people commented saying how cute it looked.  Then my Aunt posts the following "18 weeks to go.  hope you are watching your diet, if not you are going to have a lot to lose, be careful! I know you love looking pregnant but the weight is mostly yours at this time. Sorry. Don't mean to be mean I just remember how hard it was to get it off.  You look 6 to 7 months pregnant."

 Bullsh** you don't mean to be mean.  This coming from a lady who is not skinny or even just a little overweight.  It made me SO mad.  I have only gained about 10 pounds and I'm over halfway done.  I don't even know what to say to her.  It hurt my feelings SO bad.  Vent over thanks.

Re: the nerve of some people

  • This is exactly why I don't post on FB.
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  • Wow...definitely sounds like jealousy issues to me. Jealous that you are smaller than she is to begin with, and jealous that she probably gained more during her pregnancy than you will.

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  • I would delete her comment and then send her a PM expressing how inappropriate it was for her to say that. 
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  • I'm sorry!! What a crappy thing for someone to say. I would delete the comment, and possibly send a private message asking her to mind her own business from now on.
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  • What a horrible thing to say.  Sounds like she is projecting her own insecurities onto you.  I wouldn't take it personal.  I honestly think that most people do not know how a pregnant woman should looks full term. They see  a woman who is 5-6 months pregnant and assume she is full term when she  is not.  Also depending on how you manage your diet it is not mostly yours to lose. 

    Send her a message saying " Do you know what the best advice is?  The solicited kind."

  • imageams8099:
    I would delete her comment and then send her a PM expressing how inappropriate it was for her to say that. 

    Ha, I just saw this- we must have posted at the same time. I agree!

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  • I hear ya! People are so freakin sh!tty! My grandma told me last weekend how I just looked fat and not pregnant and I better be careful gaining so much weight. According to my doctor, my weight gain is right on track and I am having a completely normal pregnancy so far. I hate people and their big mouths.
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  • Just delete he comment and move on. She sounds mean and nasty.
  • OMG - that is a horrible thing to say.  I'd comment on it for everyone to see and say "you knew exactly what you were saying and that hurts". 
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  • I don't think I'll ever understand why some people view pregnancy as a free pass to make any stupid comment that might pop into their head regarding a pregnant lady's weight/shape/size/general fitness. You're still a woman, after all, and you deserve the same respect that you get when you're not pregnant.

    I'm seeing my own grandmother for the first time since I got pregnant, and I fully expect her to make a comment like this to me. It sucks. I'm sorry you're having to deal with this. 

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  • As Stephanie Tanner would say, "How RUDE!" Yeah that's off the charts rude.  I would delete the comment.  If you want to say something to her, that is up to you....I don't know how close you are with her.  But like PP's said, it sounds like she is projecting onto you. 
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  • That was really rude of her.  I have sisters that would say that but less likely over facebook.

    That comment, just left me speachless.

    I'm sorry she said that.  It's really not nice at all.
  • imageams8099:
    I would delete her comment and then send her a PM expressing how inappropriate it was for her to say that. 
    agreed!!!
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  • That's a real sh!tty comment no doubt, but I'm sure she's projecting, as many women who have battled weight loss issues all their lives do. For example, I'm 26 weeks and have gained only 6lbs (and was normal BMI before BFP) and still, my mom, who's always fighting her weight, keeps telling me to be careful. I think it's just so ingrained in their heads, that they can't help but provide that "public service," but of course it just comes across in totally the wrong way.
  • WOW. some people are really something.  i would comment after her and say "wow that was harsh"

     

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  • I wouldn't delete the comment personally. Just leave it so that she can be embarrassed by the rudeness of her comment. Everyone gets to see it so likely someone else will say something to the contrary and then she can have fun feeling like a big jerk.
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  • I don't actually think I would delete it. I'd probably post after and say something about how harsh and untrue it is, and your doctor said you are fine.

     Then I'd post on her wall for everyone to see and say something about how you understand that it might have been hard for her to loose the baby weight, but please keep all future medical advice to herself. You haven't gained more than 10 lbs, and your doctor says your fine.

    But I'm a *** like that. 

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  • If it was just a couple of words like "wow you look 6 months pregnant", It probably wouldn't bug me,  just like whatever, people are dumb.  It's the fact that she rambled on about it with a "Sorry, don't mean to be mean". She obviously knew what she was writing was rude.

    I would just ignore it or delete the comment.  I wish I could think of a witty comment to respond with. 

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  • I'd have some really sharp comments to say back to her. What a b*tch. Seriously, if somebody said that to me I'd flip out!!! Especially someone who wasn't thin themselves. Makes you upset no matter how mad you are, I totally understand. Just delete the comment, it will get the point across. Or block her from reading your wall :) She will wonder why but not want to ask. That's always fun.
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  • unfriend.

    You're not obligated to keep anyone on Facebook.

  • I would probably delete her message and send her some pregnancy facts so she can study up before making more comments.  Rude rude rude!!!
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  • imageJaqiDec04:

    I don't actually think I would delete it. I'd probably post after and say something about how harsh and untrue it is, and your doctor said you are fine.

     Then I'd post on her wall for everyone to see and say something about how you understand that it might have been hard for her to loose the baby weight, but please keep all future medical advice to herself. You haven't gained more than 10 lbs, and your doctor says your fine.

    But I'm a *** like that. 

     Yes. Exactly. Facebook is pretty public, so if you're going to post a comment like that, you better be ready to get flamed by all the victim's friends. Devil

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  • imagetokenhoser:

    unfriend.

    You're not obligated to keep anyone on Facebook.

    This.  Wow.  What a nasty woman.  I'm so sorry she said that!  Delete delete delete.  I bet you look beautiful! 

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  • I'd post below hers: "I didn't realize you had got your PHD since I last saw you."
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  • imagetokenhoser:

    unfriend.

    You're not obligated to keep anyone on Facebook.

     

    Like.

    Seriously though, it's not like any of us need any help feeling insecure about our bodies right now. If she's been pregnant, she oughta know that at least. I would leave it up and see if any friends comment on hers and if not I would PM her to let her know she was out of line and insensitive.

  • don't delete it. comment on it, call her out in public for the rude fat b!tch that she's acting like!  I know it's hard with family, so feel free to add me as a friend and I will gladly do it for you! hahaha

     

    sorry she upset u  :(

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  • I hate it when ppl feel they need to comment on things like that. I hear it all the time from my family and it ticks me off I would message her and tell her how inappropriate that was and demand an apology
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  • Unfriend her and delete that comment.  You don't need that kind of negativity in your space, and just because you're family or whatever doesn't mean you have to be Facebook friends.
    When it's all said and done, what matters most is your relationships with other people; without good friends and family, what's the point?
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  • If I didn't know better I'd think we have the same aunt.  Mine started with these kinds of comments back in my freshman year of college and has never let up.

    So sorry she was so publically b*tchy to you.  I really think it goes back to insecurity issues. 

    You've got to remember - they're HER issues not YOURS. 

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