If you are having sleep troubles, may I recommend...

AutumnBride81 · December 2010

"The Baby Sleep Book" by Dr. Sears. I'm a little in love with him right now. DS had been sleeping so horribly that I read the Ferber book and was about to try it when a friend gave me a copy of the Sears book. OMG I've had the best sleep this week since LO was born.

Why is Sears so great?

He has a FABULOUS chapter on nighttime fathering, which was what finally convinced DH that he needed to do more, and gave him suggestions on how to do it.
His strategies for teaching baby how to fall asleep on his own were gentle and sensitive. They had DS falling asleep by himself in his crib in two days with very minimal fussing.
He makes the point, repeatedly, that if something doesn't feel right to you, that's because it's probably not right for your baby, and you know your baby better than anyone else. This should be common sense, I know, but reading it over and over again really drove home the point for me. Ferber didn't feel right for us, and I didn't want to do it, but I was desperate. Sears advises us to give ourselves more credit as mamas and listen to that gut feeling!

If your LO is having some sleep issues, become BFF with Dr. Sears ;-)

TeacherTiff · December 2010

Can I ask what sleep problems you were having? Our main problem is that DS is a bear to get to sleep then wakes multiple times before finally being out for the night. (Of course, he still wakes up 3x+ to nurse overnight.) Is that addressed?

Dobie_Mama · December 2010

I really liked it, too. I seem to always forget about it because we had so much help later on with the NCSS but the BSB was really invaluable, too. Particularly the nighttime fathering chapter you mentioned. It helped DH understand the difference in CIDA vs. CIO and "wearing her down" became the key to having DH take over some of the nighttime parenting with DD #1. I also felt like the book just gave me a lot of reassurance and a sanity check that, no we weren't alone in our sleep struggles and no, there was nothing "wrong" with us. Good stuff.

ladybug8510 · December 2010

Dobie_Mama:
I really liked it, too. I seem to always forget about it because we had so much help later on with the NCSS but the BSB was really invaluable, too. Particularly the nighttime fathering chapter you mentioned. It helped DH understand the difference in CIDA vs. CIO and "wearing her down" became the key to having DH take over some of the nighttime parenting with DD #1. I also felt like the book just gave me a lot of reassurance and a sanity check that, no we weren't alone in our sleep struggles and no, there was nothing "wrong" with us. Good stuff.

This, minus the DH stuff since he isn't here.

It helped me to accept that I wasn't doing anything wrong and this is just how babies are. I've asked for more os his books for Christmas

AutumnBride81 · December 2010

TeacherTiff:
Can I ask what sleep problems you were having? Our main problem is that DS is a bear to get to sleep then wakes multiple times before finally being out for the night. (Of course, he still wakes up 3x+ to nurse overnight.) Is that addressed?

Our top two problems were that DS required extensive walking/rocking/patting in order to fall asleep (sometimes putting him to sleep took longer than he would actually sleep for) and he was waking a crazy amount of times at night, not to nurse, just to be awake. What I learned from Sears was that I was probably missing his "tired window" - the time during which it would be easy for him to fall asleep, and that he had a sleep association (being walked/rocked/patted was the only way he knew how to fall asleep) that needed to be corrected. Sounds very similar to your DS and yes, both of those issues are addressed. We moved his bedtime an hour earlier and figured out how to help him fall asleep on his own in his crib and he's been like a different baby since he started getting enough sleep. Both naps and nighttime sleep have improved and I feel like a new mama!

Good luck with everything! Maybe check BSB out of the library so you'll know if you like it or not.

tanislynn · December 2010

How did it address the waking up several times at night? I put DS down to sleep when he starts showing signs of being tired, usually between 6:30-7:30pm. He has no problems falling asleep on his own and is usually out pretty quickly. But he wakes up a lot at night, sometimes to nurse other times he fusses and put his paci in and he goes back to sleep and other times he just wants to be near me and I've been making the mistake of letting him lay in bed with me until he falls back to sleep well and then I put him back in his bed. He usually sleeps till 6:00-7:00 every morning.

AutumnBride81 · December 2010

tanislynn:
How did it address the waking up several times at night? I put DS down to sleep when he starts showing signs of being tired, usually between 6:30-7:30pm. He has no problems falling asleep on his own and is usually out pretty quickly. But he wakes up a lot at night, sometimes to nurse other times he fusses and put his paci in and he goes back to sleep and other times he just wants to be near me and I've been making the mistake of letting him lay in bed with me until he falls back to sleep well and then I put him back in his bed. He usually sleeps till 6:00-7:00 every morning.

Sears is a big proponent of cosleeping, so he definitely would not say it is a mistake to bring DS into bed with you. In fact, he makes the point that some babies may be waking frequently because they need the close contact with mom throughout the night and sleeping with you may help them sleep better. This made me feel a lot better because I frequently bring DS into bed with us if he's having a rough night and I was having guilt about it. Now I just look at it as a need like any other nighttime need - he needs to be close to me just as much as he needs to be fed, changed, etc. Responding to that need by welcoming him into bed with us isn't wrong and helps everyone get more sleep!

Also, if your LO is not hungry, have you tried letting him fuss it out for a couple of minutes to see if he will fall back asleep? I find that if our DS is fussing (not crying or screaming) more often than not he can put himself back to sleep in 10 minutes or less. One night I sent my husband in as soon as I heard him fussing and it made DS SO mad. As soon as DH left the room he calmed down, babbled for a few minutes, and fell asleep. It was almost like he was saying "It's ok Dad, I can handle this!"

tanislynn · December 2010

I have a hard time with the cosleeping. I like having DS close to me, but there has been many nights that I nurse him and put him back into bed and then go back to sleep and later wake up freaking out because I feel for DS and he's not there next to me and then I'm freaking thinking DH smashed him or something. I know, crazy half asleep fears! lol But that is a good way to look at it, that he just needs that extra closeness sometimes.

DS sleeps in our room still because we have a split master floor plan and his room is way too far across the house. There is no way I would hear him if he woke up. So some nights I will wait a couple minutes and let him fuss but he usually doesn't fall back to sleep until I either nurse him or just put him in bed with us. Other nights if I'm really tired I won't even wait I will just pick him up and put him in bed with us.

I'll have to get the book and read it.

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