How much should I pay?

sabrina69barnes · December 2010

When DS2 was born MIL was unemployed so she watched our kids when we were at the hospital. This time I'll need to come with other arrangements. A good friend of mine (the only one who knows I'm pregnant) has agreed to watch our kids. Her and her husband will stay at our house with the kids when we go the the hospital. I'll be having a c-section so I may be there as many as 4 nights but probably only 2 or 3. On the day we have the baby she and her DH will be watching SD(7), SS(6), DS1(5), and DS2(2). Later in the day DH will be taking SD and SS back to their mom's so it will just be DS1 & 2 for the rest of the time. I'll take my friend with me grocery shopping a few days before to make sure we have plenty of food her and her DH like in the house and I will also get them a small thank you gift. I also want to pay them something but I'm not sure how much. We live in a LCOL area. I make $100 a week watching a 1yr old which is pretty standard for our area if that helps.

lynn97 · December 2010

I think at least part of this depends on how close you are to this friend and also what your friend's financial situation is. If you aren't exceptionally close and/or if she really needs money, I'd give her a gift card for a store she frequents (Walmart or Target) for $100 hundred dollars/day that she's spending w/your kids. If you guys are really close and/or if she doesn't really need money, I'd give her a gift or gift card for something around $100 and make it for someplace fun (ie, a nice restaurant, clothing store, etc).

sabrina69barnes · December 2010

lynn97:
I think at least part of this depends on how close you are to this friend and also what your friend's financial situation is. If you aren't exceptionally close and/or if she really needs money, I'd give her a gift card for a store she frequents (Walmart or Target) for $100 hundred dollars/day that she's spending w/your kids. If you guys are really close and/or if she doesn't really need money, I'd give her a gift or gift card for something around $100 and make it for someplace fun (ie, a nice restaurant, clothing store, etc).

We are really close. We've been friends since we were 5, she was in my wedding, and I'm going to be in hers. Right now she works a part time sales job but she will have to take off work. I love the giftcard idea. Her and her DH will only have been married two months so maybe I'll get them a giftcard to someplace where they can get registry items that they didn't get for their wedding.

momtoRaegan041008 · December 2010

I'm not sure what was discussed in your conversation, but if you didn't say anything about paying them, I'm guessing they are not going to expect payment and they will probably not accept anything. I would probably just get her a really nice gift basket with some wine and cheeses and do a gift card for a really nice restaurant. Maybe spend $150 or so, whatever you feel is right.

ewilliams1127 · December 2010

The time I took my friend's 2yo when she was in labor she tried to pay me but seriously....that's what friends are for! I wouldn't accept anything from a good friend. That said a gift card for something personal is something she may feel bad not taking whereas if you tried to give her cash she would probably turn it down. Any amount you can afford is reasonable!

CCinLove · December 2010

I would talk to my friend about it. I would guess she isn't expecting to be paid, or she would have asked about it when she agreed to watch the kids. If I were going to spend $100 or more, I would certainly give her cash. If she doesn't want payment, I would give her a small gift card or gift worth around $25.

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