Poll: Which do you think is easier...staying at home with your child(ren) or working outside the ho

pghwedding10/08 · December 2010

I am currently a part-time (16hrs/week) working Momma. Sometimes I think that I have the "best of both worlds" and other times I think I have to deal with the difficulties of both positions. SO, I am truly just curious...

[Poll]

Lucky428 · December 2010

I think it depends on the individual. There are people who love working and would go stir-crazy being a SAHM.

I am a SAHM right now. I think it's easier than working outside the home. Yes, it's exhausting. Yes, I don't get to eat or pee in peace. But I'm able to get chores done around the house because Jack is pretty independent and a pretty easy toddler.

pam1005 · December 2010

I work at home and stay home with my child. I run an in home daycare and file insurance claims online. I love that I have a daycare and can be with me child, but sometimes I wish I had more adult interaction and could call in sick (I have yet to do it). I only file claims part time (15hours), but it is extremely hard to get them done while DS is awake. I am not sure which is easier...it is really hard to determine unless you've been in both situations.

amandopolis · December 2010

I SAH and sometimes wish I was working so I could get a break. It's hard when your job is all day, every day. But I doubt I would find it easy to spend that much time away from LO. I think both are hard.

EastCoastBride · December 2010

This is an impossible arguement.

chloephoebecali · December 2010

I SAH, and despite a not so easy toddler, I feel my life is easier/better being at home. I know some people don't like it, though, and I definitely have moments and even some days where I am losing it. Doing dishes and picking up toys gets old. I just suspect that if I worked, I would still get to do most of the household chores. DH does help, but the little details are what get to me. Like, he never cleans toilets or wipes things down. I can count on him to do dishes and laundry occasionally, but that's about it and often it is half-assed. It just isn't in him to think to do certain things that are just so obvious to me - like hanging a coat or putting stuff away. He won't offer to bathe DD, but he'll do it if I ask. They aren't super important, but it gets old to be the one always doing or always having to ask/remind. Being home, I have time to do some of those things and I don't feel as overwhelmed as I would working all day and then coming home to do them.

macchiatto · December 2010

I think it totally depends on the individual, the kid(s)--personalities, how many, what stages they're at, how high-maintenance they are--and the job. Probably also on what kind of support you have.

katiekate1974 · December 2010

I really think it depends on the person. I've done SAH (extended maternity), work at home, PT, and now FT in the office. Honestly, I think SAHM was easiest because I enjoyed it most. I think that's the key. We all have challenges, and I don't think one is innately easier or more difficult than the other; but when you like your personal arrangements, it makes dealing with the challenges easier.

sbe0517 · December 2010

I get to do both and I would say they are both difficult in their own ways. When I am home, DD is about as active as they get, so I am chasing and playing and dealing with tantrums. She also takes 2 naps a day, but they are only 30-45 min each. She can be exhausting, lol! When I am at work, I am dealing with co-workers and always thinking about what DD is doing and how much I wish I was home with her; not dealing with office crap! Neither one is easy, but we do what works for each one of us!

trackchik6 · December 2010

I am in law school but took 5 mo. off after DS was born and stayed home with him then & I was off again this summer for 3 mo. and stayed home with him again. Maybe I'm biased b/c I am in middle of finals (& taking a quick study break!) - but I have done both & I think working is harder! Although I did appreciate going out with friends for lunch after our exam this morning and I know I couldn't do things like that when I stayed home. It depends on the person I think. I'd ideally like to work part-time.

ETA: And I also think it depends on your DH. My DH helps when I am in school but when I stayed home he was all - I work all day and you stay home so I'm not helping with anything.

gumiberg · December 2010

i work part time (15 hrs in office, from home as necassary) but i didnt vote because i find both to be equally difficult. a stressful day at work is harder than a day at home - but a day where the babies dont nap well and are clingy all day is harder than a day in the office.

so much of this is dependent on the job, the temperment of the child, the number of children, the climate (if i lived where it snowed i would hate winters), the commute, etc.

makclair · December 2010

My job can be very stressful and the nurses don't take a nap- so the whole "working and getting a break" doesn't work at all for me.I work through my lunch almost every day charting.

I enjoy my job, but it is less stressful and more fun to be chasing my 2 year old around at home.

penguingrrl · December 2010

I recently returned to work after SAH for 3 years and find it exhausting and miserable. We need a second income so there's no choice here, but I hate being a working mom. I work about 30 hours a week, DH works at least 45-50 and we work opposite schedules since daycare is out of reach (costs more than I earn).

sunnyday016 · December 2010

I love working part-time, but I have a very low key job (I'm a secretary).

DBride2006 · December 2010

I'm in a similar situation as the PP, except I WAH 32 per week and have my own (very PT) business. DS is only in daycare 1 day per week and with grandparents 1.5 days per week. Sooo... if you do the math that's a lot of hours of work WITH (a challenging) DS.

If I worked FT in the office, I would be miserable missing DS. If I SAH FT, we would not be able to make it financially and I'd go bonkers day in and out with DS (which would also make me miserable). So, in that case- WAH PT is the best solution for me, but I also feel pulled in a million directions.

When I'm at home, I could be working, cleaning or playing with DS (not to mention running errands)- so time management is tough and I feel like I NEVER have any down time. That said, when I worked 20 hours per week from home, I felt that was the right balance for me.

Emcat1980@yahoo.com · December 2010

This obviously depends on multiple factors.

I worked as a resident DS's first 16 months. It was pretty hellacious. My H was a resident too so we both worked long miserable hours. I felt like I missed out on so much. I felt guilty all the time about not seeing DS, and I felt stretched so incredibly thin trying to be doctor/wife/mama. I will totally conceed that my H, while a good man, does NOT pull his weight around the house.

I have been SAH for the past 4 months and it's so much easier in general. I find it rewarding to be home with him, although very tedious at times, but I think if we lived anywhere near family that would be a lot better, having them to visit and help out occasionally. I try to keep us busy but DS and I both get bored and antsy at times. I'm not as patient with him as I used to be because he's at a more trying age and because I am around him all the time. My husband works a ton and since I SAH now he REALLY doesn't help around the house.

After this year I'll be working part time...I hope that will be the best of both worlds.

smilelari · December 2010

I work full time and think that it's pretty tough to be away from the house for 10 or so hours a day, come home get all the chores done and then start all over again. I know that there are challenges with staying at home, like feeling frustrated because you don't get enough adult interaction and feeling like your job is 24/7... But, you know what? I may change what I'm doing, but I also have responsibilities 24/7. Either I'm at work or I'm at home and when I'm at home I'm mom, not on a break and when I'm at work I'm working, not on a break. And I don't feel like I really can take a real break. I get so little time with LO, that I spend all the free time I have devoted to him. I know that a night out with DH or with the girls is probably healthy, but I just don't want to give up my time with LO to do it. If I were home all day with LO, I would probably feel pretty ok about leaving him for some time that really was a break, KWIM?

janjag · December 2010

gumiberg:

i work part time (15 hrs in office, from home as necassary) but i didnt vote because i find both to be equally difficult. a stressful day at work is harder than a day at home - but a day where the babies dont nap well and are clingy all day is harder than a day in the office.

so much of this is dependent on the job, the temperment of the child, the number of children, the climate (if i lived where it snowed i would hate winters), the commute, etc.

I also work pt 15hrs/wk and I agree with this.

Some days I enjoy my girls immensely. Some days at work are cake. Often, it's hectic all morning with the girls, and then hectic all afternoon at work, with no break in between besides the drive. Those days I find I'm struggling to juggle both rolls.

CalinsBride · December 2010

Depends on the kid, depends on the parent, depends on the job.

robbie3982 · December 2010

I voted for they're just different.

I went back to work full time when DS was 12 weeks old and ended up resigning 5 months later to stay home with DS full time. It was really hard to work outside of the home, but it's also really hard to stay home. The challenges are just different. I definitely prefer staying home with DS though.

BlairWaldorf · December 2010

smilelari:
I work full time and think that it's pretty tough to be away from the house for 10 or so hours a day, come home get all the chores done and then start all over again. I know that there are challenges with staying at home, like feeling frustrated because you don't get enough adult interaction and feeling like your job is 24/7... But, you know what? I may change what I'm doing, but I also have responsibilities 24/7. Either I'm at work or I'm at home and when I'm at home I'm mom, not on a break and when I'm at work I'm working, not on a break. And I don't feel like I really can take a real break. I get so little time with LO, that I spend all the free time I have devoted to him. I know that a night out with DH or with the girls is probably healthy, but I just don't want to give up my time with LO to do it. If I were home all day with LO, I would probably feel pretty ok about leaving him for some time that really was a break, KWIM?

I completely agree with this.

But I do agree that it just depends on the personality, the job outside of the home, the child, the marriage, etc.

1SwtWld · December 2010

smilelari:
I work full time and think that it's pretty tough to be away from the house for 10 or so hours a day, come home get all the chores done and then start all over again. I know that there are challenges with staying at home, like feeling frustrated because you don't get enough adult interaction and feeling like your job is 24/7... But, you know what? I may change what I'm doing, but I also have responsibilities 24/7. Either I'm at work or I'm at home and when I'm at home I'm mom, not on a break and when I'm at work I'm working, not on a break. And I don't feel like I really can take a real break. I get so little time with LO, that I spend all the free time I have devoted to him. I know that a night out with DH or with the girls is probably healthy, but I just don't want to give up my time with LO to do it. If I were home all day with LO, I would probably feel pretty ok about leaving him for some time that really was a break, KWIM?

I also agree with this. However, I hate that I get about 2 hours with G a day on my work days. 30 mins with her in the AM and she's pissed that she's up at 6 to get to daycare by 6:30 so I can get to the office in time. Then, I bust my ass to get home to spend an hour with her before bed, to include dinner, bath and a few minutes to play. I then have to do all the chores, cook food and whatever. No time to relax or have any time to myself. It's hard. However, since G does go to bed early, I could still go out after she's down. But I don't do that often at all. I'm usually ready to collapse by the end of the day. And the gym? Forget about it.

MegGary · December 2010

EastCoastBride:
This is an impossible arguement.

I agree. We are all different people. I don't think that one is harder than the other. I think we all tolerate different ways of living our lives. What works for me might not work for someone else. There is no better or worse. No easier or harder. Just what is right for you. Also some peoples circumstances make it impossible for them to live the "ideal" life. To many factors to weigh when it comes to this kind of debate.

cmbrown · December 2010

smilelari:
I work full time and think that it's pretty tough to be away from the house for 10 or so hours a day, come home get all the chores done and then start all over again. I know that there are challenges with staying at home, like feeling frustrated because you don't get enough adult interaction and feeling like your job is 24/7... But, you know what? I may change what I'm doing, but I also have responsibilities 24/7. Either I'm at work or I'm at home and when I'm at home I'm mom, not on a break and when I'm at work I'm working, not on a break. And I don't feel like I really can take a real break. I get so little time with LO, that I spend all the free time I have devoted to him. I know that a night out with DH or with the girls is probably healthy, but I just don't want to give up my time with LO to do it. If I were home all day with LO, I would probably feel pretty ok about leaving him for some time that really was a break, KWIM?

Agree 100%.

Luckymama0403 · December 2010

I also agree that there is not one job harder than the other. They are both equally hard in their own way. Are there advantages to both, yes. I work full time and being here at work doe give me adult time and sometimes I can even get things done (like shopping during my lunch break alone at peace) that I can get done being home, BUT being here also means I'm away from DS 8+ hours a day and that kills me. Being home for 6 months on maternity leave gave me a new perspective on being a SAHM. Now, if I had the choice, I'd chose to stay at home. Why? because even though my job would be (and is today) a 24/7 job, I wouldn't trade being with my little guy all day for nothing.

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