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Not sure how long I can keep up the cherade.

whitward87whitward87
in Babies: 9 - 12 Months

Remember my post last week about not liking my DD very much? Well, I still don't. I'm having the hardest time not breaking down and crying because she won't stop screaming unless I am holding her or we are driving around in the car. She has only napped 20 minutes and we have both been up since 8 this morning. Granted, she has what I would call a cold, but what her pedi called "seasonal allergies". She isnt eating as much unless it's milk because she is congested, and she is coughing a little bit. All she does is cry and I dread coming home from work or from the store, because I know thats what I will hear as soon as I walk in the door. What's worse is she is a complete angel with my H. She naps 2 hours with him, plays alone and lets him do chores. Not me.

I am trying to keep cool on the outside and not let everyone see how miserable I am, but I don't think I can do it much longer. Sad

Sorry to vent again, I know I probably seem like the crappiest mom for complaining so much but I can't vent to family because, they like they are supposed to, see her as a perfect little angel, and don't see that side of her anyway.

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Re: Not sure how long I can keep up the cherade.

  • PinkMnM26PinkMnM26

    I'm sorry to read this.  My ds also did not sleep very much before and it really does get to you.  It's hard to be on all the time.  Maybe she is sensing that you dislike her and that's why she cries?  Have you tried just cuddling with her and trying to have fun with her? 

    how long have you felt this way about her? 

     

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  • liza0828liza0828
    It sounds like she is going through a separation anxiety phase.  It's so common at that age.  Have you tried putting her in a carrier like a ring sling?  Then it wouldn't be so tough carrying her around so much.  
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  • whitward87whitward87

    Maybe I should reword it. I don't actually dislike my DD. I always start the day with snuggles, hugs, kisses and dancing. Then we start with breakfast, but as soon as I put her in her highchair to get her yogurt and fruit, she screams, then when I put her down to play with her toys, she screams, she just screams and cries all the time if I am not holding her. I don't in any way act like I don't like her, in fact, my husband says I coddle her too much....

    I have been miserable staying home about 2 months now and I am considering a full time day job to try and escape the crying.

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  • whitward87whitward87

    imageliza0828:
    It sounds like she is going through a separation anxiety phase.  It's so common at that age.  Have you tried putting her in a carrier like a ring sling?  Then it wouldn't be so tough carrying her around so much.  

    I've thought about it, and I did it temporarily but it KILLED my back, she weighs 20 pounds, and believe it or not, she was mad because I did not have my arms wrapped around her. Tongue Tied

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  • loveyoubeanloveyoubean
    Awww... this sounds so tough.  I am sorry you are going through it.  I wish I had magical advice for you, but I don't... good luck with it.  Maybe talk to the pedi about it and see if that have any advice for you?  Or maybe a weekend away for you and DH would help you, just so you could get away a bit?  
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  • whitward87whitward87
    imagekellybellybean:
    imagewhitward87:

    imageliza0828:
    It sounds like she is going through a separation anxiety phase.  It's so common at that age.  Have you tried putting her in a carrier like a ring sling?  Then it wouldn't be so tough carrying her around so much.  

    I've thought about it, and I did it temporarily but it KILLED my back, she weighs 20 pounds, and believe it or not, she was mad because I did not have my arms wrapped around her. Tongue Tied

    Sorry, I was writing my post while this post went up, so I didn't see it.  What carrier were you using?  There might be other carries/holds that she would enjoy and that wouldn't be so tough on your back. 

    I was using a Moby. Is there one you can recommend? I am clueless about this sort of thing!!

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  • whitward87whitward87
    imagekellybellybean:
    imagewhitward87:

    imageliza0828:
    It sounds like she is going through a separation anxiety phase.  It's so common at that age.  Have you tried putting her in a carrier like a ring sling?  Then it wouldn't be so tough carrying her around so much.  

    I've thought about it, and I did it temporarily but it KILLED my back, she weighs 20 pounds, and believe it or not, she was mad because I did not have my arms wrapped around her. Tongue Tied

    Sorry, I was writing my post while this post went up, so I didn't see it.  What carrier were you using?  There might be other carries/holds that she would enjoy and that wouldn't be so tough on your back. 

    I was using a Moby. Is there one you can recommend? I am clueless about this sort of thing!!

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  • CiarraiCiarrai
    It's just a phase, but I know hearing that doesn't make it feel any better.  I kept begging DS to start saying "Mama".  (He's been saying "Dada" for ages.)  What does he do now?  Crawl around the house crying and saying "mamamamamama" while attempting to climb me anytime I stand still long enough.  He's the youngest of three and as much as I want to carry him around all day every day, I just can't.  This morning trying to get the girls ready for preschool was a nightmare.  Anyway, it is a phase and I still haven't found a better way to deal with it except get through it.  Could your DD be teething?  Have you try things like Tylenol?  Do you get out at all during the day?  Even just to the park or to walk around Target?  Part of me thinks DS is getting bored.  He's also trying to drop down to one nap but not quite ready.  So he's either overtired or getting too much sleep depending on what he did that day.  Neither seem to help his moods.  Ugh.
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  • ctrfrei1ctrfrei1
    I understand what you are saying and suggest that you take some time to go out alone and do something that is 100% for YOU! Get your nails done, hair cut, take a walk, shop, whatever you'd like. You need some Mommy-Time so that you can re-juice and feel better. GL!
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  • lifesadancelifesadance member

    DS doesn't cry all the time but there are definitely noticeable periods when he's crabbier and more clingy and those times coincide with times I'm away.  When I come home from work in the evenings, I can't put him down.  I eat dinner with him on my lap and he sits in my lap while we play and I put him to bed.  On the days that I'm home with him all day, he's not like that at all.  Then on days like today -- I was home from work but DH was giving me some "me" time to do my own things while he took care of DS -- he did the crabby, clingy thing again... even though I was around, just not totally focused on himself.  If it's been a particularly long day of work, and I need a break, sometimes I take advantage of him being clingy and put on a Baby Einstein video and cuddle him on the couch or floor for a bit before bed. 

    Hope that helps and hope that things get better soon.  

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  • grapeape73grapeape73 member

    I was going to say separation anxiety also.  It doesn't last forever, but it sure as heck seems that way when it is going on.

    I use a pouch sling, and love it.  It doesn't bother my back at all and Gigi is over 20 pounds.  Heck I was still Wearing Mel up until 5 months ago. 

    I don't know what to tell you other than hang in there.  I'm sure you have read all the sleep books, but does anything stand out to you?  

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  • jkyliejkylie member
    imagekellybellybean:

    Oh man, yes!!!  The Moby wraps are really only designed for babies under 15 lbs, and I couldn't use mine once DD hit 10 lbs because it was too much on my back!  There is a whole world of carriers out there that might help you!!  The woven wrap is my favorite (I have a BBSlen - it's one of the most affordable wovens) because it's super supportive and you can do all different carries with it (there's a learning curve - you have to watch some videos on youtube to get it down!), but you might also look into an Ergo (super easy to use).  I think this could really help you!

    not true. 35lbs.

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  • sapgirl76sapgirl76 member
    imagejkylie:
    imagekellybellybean:

    Oh man, yes!!!  The Moby wraps are really only designed for babies under 15 lbs, and I couldn't use mine once DD hit 10 lbs because it was too much on my back!  There is a whole world of carriers out there that might help you!!  The woven wrap is my favorite (I have a BBSlen - it's one of the most affordable wovens) because it's super supportive and you can do all different carries with it (there's a learning curve - you have to watch some videos on youtube to get it down!), but you might also look into an Ergo (super easy to use).  I think this could really help you!

    not true. 35lbs.

    True and not true.  Stretchy wraps like Mobys aren't good for heavier babies because they stretch and aren't supportive enough. Moby says 35 lbs. but they also used to say you can use a Moby for back carries, which is unsafe.  I know it was uncomfortable with DS in the Moby after he hit around 15 lbs.

    I definitely suggest an Ergo or other SSC.  There's less of a learning curve with those than with wovens so you'll be able to get some relief faster!  I'm sorry, btw.  DS has been in a nap-free crabby mode for a while and it sucks.

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