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Alabama Babies
MissLMS
member
An inlaw vent. LONG.
MissLMS
member
Honestly, I've been really lucky with my inlaws. They can be a little wierd at times, but for the most part they've been supportive but they also stay out of our business. They live 6.5 hours away.
Well, they came into town for DH's surgery last week. This was his 6th surgery on his ears... and the 3rd since we've been married. I thought everything went well. DH was a little stressed that they were there, just because his mom dotes on him and wants to deep clean our house when I've already cleaned it.... but...
I found out yesterday that my MIL is mad at me because I was the one to tell DH the bad news about his hearing bones after the surgery. She's also mad at me because I was the first one to see him after the surgery was over. They were also in the room, but I was the one to tell him the bad news.
Seriously?!? I'm his WIFE. I think it's my responsibility to see him and answer any of his questions about the surgery first. Not theirs. If I were the one having surgery, I would expect Michael to do the same for me, not my parents.
Now, his mom has become obsessed with DH's health and wants to spend $500 to fly up to B'ham for his post-surgery checkup this week, then fly back to Georgia the same day!!!! Nuts! She says that even though DH is a grown man, she can "tell" that he "needs" her there.
I'm not even going to the checkup because DH says he can handle it on his own and I trust his judgment. I mean, he's 32!
Am I being ridiculous here?
mmc and d&c at 8.5 weeks - 8/23/2010
natural m/c and d&c at 10 weeks - 1/24/2014
DX w/ hetero C677t and A1298C MTHFR - 3/4/2014
natural m/c and d&c at 10 weeks - 1/24/2014
DX w/ hetero C677t and A1298C MTHFR - 3/4/2014
This discussion has been closed.
Re: An inlaw vent. LONG.
I don't think you are being ridiculous one bit. You are his wife, and it is your responsibility to do those things now...not his mom.
I seem to have the other problem with my MIL. DH had surgery to repair his achilles over Thanksgiving and neither of his parents seemed to care. I spent the entire day at the hospital by myself.
WHAT?!!?!? are you freaking kidding me!?!?!? uh, she is ridiculous. Everyone is right, you are his wife and you SHOULD be in there and telling him what's going on. If God forbid something would happen to him, the drs would come to YOU not her.
Seriously, he's a grown man.
Glad he's going to talk to her but Lord almighty.
And by NO means are you being ridiculous. SHE IS!!!
ok, I'll calm down now.
You are not in the wrong AT ALL! She is being ridiculous! She needs to step back and let you take care of your husband! I agree with pp's...have him tell his mom to back off (in a nice way) that you have it handled.
I had a similar situation when DH was diagnosed with cancer, only it was SIL getting in the way. DH and I actually weren't married yet, but had been together for 6 years, living together for 4. I was the one to tell him that it was cancer after his surgery and SIL got mad at me for it. She did some other stuff during recovery and finally I had to tell her that there were too many cooks with their hands in the pot. I had it handled. She didn't take it well at first, but DH was much happier with only me taking care of him.
Good luck, I have a feeling it won't be pretty
You are his wife, therefore you come first. You aren't being ridiculous, she's having a hard time relinquishing control. Like you said, he's 32, he's a big boy, and he doesn't need his mommy. He's going to have to tell her that, because like the others said since she's already upset with you she will think you are making it up or whatever. How frustrating that she's upset with you over something that you had every right to do.
Lydia---I'm so sorry you're going through all of this...and to top it off having your MIL not handling things well/getting upset at you. Sounds like she's stressed, feels out of control, and unfortunately taking things out on you.
And while as a Mom, I bet it'd be hard seeing your child go through all of this no matter what age he is- she needs to check herself because her actions/reactions aren't making anything better nor are they helping heal DH.
Quite obviously, you're #1 in his life and should be! She's wrong to be upset. Bravo to DH for being strong through everything too. The last thing he needs is his mom adding to his health issues.
Again, I'm so sorry y'all are going through all of this during this time.
The Baby Blog.
I agree with this and everyone else... you are absolutely not in the wrong! I'm sorry you're having to deal with this right now. Hopefully your DH will handle it.