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May 2011 Moms
Shower ? (XP from 2nd tri)
I'm trying to keep to the right etiquette here so I'd like some imput. My two bffs have offered to throw me a shower, and want my mom to help. Mom lives in town but her family lives 5.5 hours away. The town my bffs live in is halfway between home and mom's family. When I mentioned that they'd offered to throw the shower, she said it would be good to have it around them so her family might come too. I think my bffs had intended to have it around where I live.
What I would rather to do is have the shower around me so DH's family could come too (they don't have much money and traveling would be hard on them), and invite my mom's family. I know most wouldn't come, but that way they wouldn't be left out. In the invites to mom's side, I want to include a tentative "save the date" for a baby meet-in-great for about 6 weeks after baby is born. I only see them about once a year and really want everyone to have the chance to meet the baby (and MH since many have never met him). I just think it would be better to have something after the baby is born for mom's side since they are so far away and won't see the baby much anyway.
So do you think the save the dates for a meet the baby is appropriate or not? I don't want to seem gift grabby so should I even send them an actual shower invite or just leave it at the meet in great. The only reason I was thinking about sending was so that they didn't feel like I just forgot about them.
If you have any other ideas, let me know.
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Re: Shower ? (XP from 2nd tri)
So the short version of that is your BFF's have offered to throw the shower, you're uncertain of where to hold it and who to invite, yes?
If your DH's family has not offered to throw a shower for you already, then I would just have it halfway between at your BFF's with your mom (who HAVE offered) and still invite DH's family--if money IS tight on them, then they all have a good excuse not to come and not to buy gifts, which would be the distance. However, if YOUR house is halfway between your moms and your DH's family, then I would think that's a logical solution. It just seems like you're trying to cater to your DH's family, even though none of them are even throwing/participating in the shower itself.
I guess I"m not good at explaining everything. My parents, sister, paternal grandparents, and DH's mom and sisters all live in the same town as I do. My uncle's family lives closer to where I do than to my bffs. My bffs live halfway in between where we all live and where Mom's family lives. So its not just DH's family I'm trying to make happy. My grandparents have enough health problems that they can't travel. So really its just trying to figure out how to accomodate my Mom's family because they are so much further away than everyone else. I don't want to not include them in the shower because they are far away even though I know many won't come. I want to include my DH's family because they are all really excited about the baby. Just because they can't help with and aren't offering to throw a shower I don't want to just be like tough luck you're not invited.
Sorry if this was already suggested...but what about having two separate showers? That way you could have one closer to one set of family, and one closer to you.
If that isn't really an option, I would suggest sending the invites out to everyone...that way no one feels left out and maybe sending out the "save-the-dates" after the shower invites go out, or after people have RSVPed.
HTH!
~ Cait