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Babies: 9 - 12 Months
gogoamy
member
Vent: MIL
gogoamy
member
i don't usually do these kinds of posts, but i really need to get this out. background - dh's cousin was just in the national rodeo finals in las vegas this past week. his parents, siblings and extended family all flew out there to support him. dh's parents told us about six weeks or so ago that we should go and that if we did mil would watch dd one night so we could have a night out while we were there. we debated about it for a while and i was pretty hesitant on going to vegas with a baby right before the holidays, but dh wanted to go so we booked our trip. when i told my mom about it, she asked if she could come too (she loves vegas!) and that she would help us with dd and also watch her for one night (which was great since we would only be there 3 nights and we'd have two of them covered.) so, she booked her trip too. fast forward to this past week/weekend. we all arrived in vegas on wednesday morning. we didn't see dh's parents all day, or even hear from them. my mom watched dd on wednesday night as planned so dh and i could go to dinner. on thursday morning, i talked to mil on the phone to invite her to brunch - she couldn't go because she was going to a fashion show with all of dh's aunts and cousins. she said she didn't get me a ticket because she assumed i wouldn't want to go (wrong, i would've gone. she could have at least invited me and let me decide). she said that the entire family would be meeting for drinks and appetizers around 4:30 and we could go if we'd like. we decided to go despite our better judgment since dd was being fussy. as soon as we got to the restaurant, dd was really starting to get crabby and the restaurant said they wouldn't let anyone in under the age of 5. mil came out and we told her and said we were going to go back to our room. she told me she just ordered a drink and to come inside and have a drink and talk to her which would've left dh outside with a crying baby. she walked away and didn't give me an opportunity to respond. there was no way i was going inside and leaving dh - i didn't think that would be very fair at all. a minute later mil comes flying out of the restaurant and got right in my face "i don't understand why you can't come in here and talk to me. i told you i wanted to talk, but noooo i had to be the one to come out here and talk to you." she said a few other things, but i was so angry i can't remember what specifically it was. she was sighing and rolling her eyes and smelling like lots of alcohol and generally acting pretty immature. i just turned and walked away from her and didn't look back. my only other option was to say something then and there but it probably wouldn't have been pretty. it was a lot of different things - her tone, the way she got in my face, the way she expected me to ditch my crying dd and husband to talk and drink with her the minute she wanted me to. she has a habit of bossing everyone around and getting her way, and i think she was pissed that i didn't do what she wanted when she wanted me to do it. it may not seem like much, but even dh (for once) thought she was completely out of line. later on, my mom watched dd so dh and i could quickly go out to eat. we didn't see dh's family the rest of the weekend. we didn't hear from them at all. they went and did all sorts of things that we would have loved to do and be a part of (hoover dam, chocolate factory, etc), but were not included in any way. it was like we were on two seperate trips. and no, mil didn't watch dd at all as promised. if she didn't want to watch her, fine. however, don't invite us on a trip and volunteer to watch her if you're not really going to. i forgot to add this in earlier, but mil decided a day before the trip that she wasn't going to watch dd as planned. great. dh and i are so disgusted with the way everything played out - from the backing out of babysitting, to the way she treated me, and the way we were excluded from all family activities and excursions. if this was how it was going to be, we could've taken our own trip elsewhere at a different time since we literally didn't see anyone we were supposed to be vacationing with. to top it all off, we still haven't heard from mil or fil and as far as we're concerned they owe us a major apology. i'm especially upset that this all happened right before the holidays and dh's birthday, which we are supposed to be spending with them. i guess for now we are just going to wait it out and hope they make the first move. if i've learned anything from this, it's that i will never ever vacation with my inlaws again! sorry this was so long, i hope it made sense. i'm sure i'm leaving stuff out, but this was the jest of things. thanks for letting me vent!
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Re: Vent: MIL
What was your relationship with them prior to this? Did this behavior come out of the blue? The way she was acting almost seems like she has some sort of "issue" with you.... Are there other kids on that side of the family? It's like they totally don't get it, and how hard it is travelling with a LO.
Don't let them ruin your holidays, or DH's birthday! They're the ones who will be missing out. Sounds like they are pretty immature.
we've actually always had a pretty good relationship. however, she has always been very passive aggressive and made it known when she doesn't agree/like something. she's made all sorts of remarks about dh and i living together before marriage, not getting married in a church and she got especially upset that we decided to ff. when i was pregnant, i was questioning if a steak i was eating was cooked well enough and didn't want anything too rare because of the baby, mil said "if you actually are worried about what dd eats, you would be making the decision to breastfeed". she's always made remarks like that and i've always just smiled and not let it become an issue for everyones sake. she had five children and already has three other grandchildren so she definitely knows what it's like to travel with a baby/kids. if she does have some sort of issue with me (aside from making it obvious she doesn't agree with many of my choices), then she's never let it be known. i really think it was just a drunken temper tantrum. ugh.