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KathrynMD
member
kinda meandering post - but me becoming a mother is leaving DH behind
KathrynMD
member
I feel kinda bad for DH - with the playgroups we've been having and now I'm starting to develop friendships with some of the moms from DD's daycare, I feel like motherhood has opened up a whole new world of friends for me. But, DH doesn't have a similar new group of "dad" friends. I think he feels "stuck" w/o an identify. He's married and a dad, so he's definitely not "single" but being a husband and father hasn't really given him new social avenues to explore, kwim? Whereas now, when someone finds out I'm a mom - they are all about comparing horror stories, stats, etc. I feel bad almost telling DH I'm going out for another "mom-centric" outing when he has nothing similar going on. I hope some of these developing friendships will eventually turn into couple and family friendships, but I'm not sure if that will happen. Does this make any sense? Does anybody else notice anything similar or have any advice?
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Re: kinda meandering post - but me becoming a mother is leaving DH behind
I am guessing that a lot of your mutual friends do not have children yet...
What about having a bumpie playgroup where all the daddies come? My DH agreed to go to one of the ones in Columbia, but DD ended up getting sick and we couldn't go.
We have friends with kids but they are all much older - like late elementary school or HS age. DH feels like he's the oldest first time Dad in american. ...
DH has made comments about how much our lives are different from other friends. A few friends/couples we know are having or have kids, but not most and he kind of complains that they don't get why going out until 2am to a loud crowded bar to get hammered isn't his idea of a good time. Plus DH loves to talk about John (cause come on, they really are the center of our lives) to other parents and he can't really do that with his child-less friends. We have a guy friend who we've known since middle school, and they had a baby a few months after we did and he really likes getting together with them, but we don't do it as often as we should.
I get what you're saying, I wonder if there are any daddy groups around here?
This is a great idea. I made DH come with me to the August playdate, b/c I needed help getting the cooler, baby, etc to the playgroup. He didn't mind being the only Dad there.
Are you guys interested in having the Dad's participate in the March-for-Babies Nest?Bump group?
(I need to remember to send the follow up e-mail!!)
PS- Sorry, I cannot type r-e-m-e-m-b-e-r correctly ever. My fingers always skip the second m.
That sucks but I would think that is a fairly common situation. Its actually not the case for us since a lot of our mutual friends have had kids within a year or two of us. DH is still friends with the same group of guys he grew up with and its so funny to overhear their conversations now about daycare, pediatricians, etc. haha.
I think once our playgroups start up again we should specifically make some dad-friendly. Not saying it would automatically solve your dilemma but its a start.
I think having the dad's join some of the playgroups would be really nice.
I wish DH had some friends with kids he could get together with. He is home with her two days a week and takes her places but I know it can be awkward for him since it's mostly moms doing that stuff. He's a good sport about it but I still feel bad.
My husband jokes that he loves going places alone with DD, he says she's a Chick-magnent and he's scoping out the ladies for step-mom material.
**We have a very off-beat sense of humor, and we find this funny. When we were leaving to go on our honeymoon we joked about each other having an "unfortunate accident" and "falling off the boat."
No - the one girl who I hung out with her husband was in Afghanistan and when he came back, she dropped off the face of the earth and they were OOT every weekend. I invited a bunch of kids to DD's party this weekend in hopes that alot of the dads would come, which I think they will. I might suggest we try some family playgroups to some of those moms/parents - that would be fun!
My DH will come. He walked with me, A in the last MOD walk. So count Tim in.
I kind of feel like that too. I feel like my husband never gets to hang out with anyone but us.
So I have some mom friends with kids the same age and we started having a couple over for football games and stuff. If the moms and babies moved into the other room or whatever, that gave him a chance to hang out with the other dad, we really get along well with them.
It's definately not frequent, but at least it's something!
I am really late on this but wanted to chime in...
I am expecting my first. But I have SC. DH is very heavily involved with coaching sports etc. I think as the kids get older the roles may reverse a bit if the kids get into sports. And kids can get into soccer etc. at a young age.
I live in a smaller eastern shore town and whenever we go somewhere there is always someone saying hi coach paul to DH and he has developed a lot of friendships that way.