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My FFFC - DH vent

NewMrs07NewMrs07 member
in Parenting after 35

I know it's normal to go through rough patches when you have a baby, but sometimes I wish for my relationship with DH to be like before. We are both exhausted lately, we haven't had sex for who knows how long (can't even remember), I feel like a nagging wife most of the time, etc, etc. Sometimes I feel like I'm just the nanny, maid, servant around here. I know I'm not but I feel like I am sometimes.

It would be nice for DH to tell me once in a while that I'm doing a good job at home, that he's proud of me for starting a new job soon, etc. But he rarely says anything. He has so little time at home that he rarely pitches in with housework too. I mean, I know that if I'm not working right now I should do most of it, but I feel like I'm at the bottom of the totem pole. Especially when he says "where's dinner" or "there's so much dust here!". The house looks great, btw, other people comment on how clean it is in spite of the baby.

Anyway, I'm just feeling down right now. Maybe its the holidays that add to our stress, I don't know. Sometimes I want DH to go to work b/c he creates more work for me instead of less (leaving clothes around, asking me for stuff, etc). Plus it pisses me off that he comes home and puts his feet up and I never, ever get a break from LO. And if I can finally go out for 2 hrs to get my hair cut, I'm supposed to kiss DH's feet and be oh so grateful. That pisses me off.

I think I need to just wake up one morning real early and just leave the house for half a day to go window shopping or whatever. Just let DH deal with LO on his own for a while. Because even when DH is home, I'm still doing the bulk of the work.

Bottom line is, I'm tired, feel unappreciated and can't wait to fly to my parents' house next week (away from DH) so I can stop being the housekeeper for a few days.

Vent over Stick out tongue

 

Me: 44 DH: 42. DS born healthy at 40 weeks 8/24/09. TTC since then with no luck or ART. Surprise BFP 8/6/14... MMC @ 8 weeks 4 days... Miss you everyday sweet baby angel.
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Re: My FFFC - DH vent

  • PeppernutPeppernut
    I totally hear that.  Have a spiked nog.  *Hands spiked nog*
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  • steverstever member

    imagePeppernut:
    I totally hear that.  Have a spiked nog.  *Hands spiked nog*
    I'll pass you some too.

    I'm sorry, Christina. Left Hug

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  • mtnridermtnrider member
    I think we all breathe a sigh of relief when our DHs leave for work sometimes because it really is easier to take care of one baby than two!  The dust comment would really bug me.  I'd probably say "well then get busy, here's the duster!"  Honestly I like your idea about just walking out of the house and leaving your DH to deal with DS.  I've done that before, just for an hour or two but it gives you a chance to recharge.  But what about putting Adrian in daycare just 2 days a week for 2 or 3 hours a day right now just to give you a little break?  If you're starting work soon anyway then this would be a good way to ease him into daycare.  That's how I did it and S loves daycare!
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  • superauntsuperaunt member

    ack, there must be something in the air!! :(

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  • iluvtomiluvtom member
    I hear ya too, I think we all go through the same phase and it sux!
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  • Kandie35Kandie35

    phew, girl, don't get me started! I feel your pain.(hugs) and Drinks

    Remember, YOU MATTER TOO!!!!!!!!!!

     

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  • NewMrs07NewMrs07 member

    imagemtnrider:
    I think we all breathe a sigh of relief when our DHs leave for work sometimes because it really is easier to take care of one baby than two!  The dust comment would really bug me.  I'd probably say "well then get busy, here's the duster!"  Honestly I like your idea about just walking out of the house and leaving your DH to deal with DS.  I've done that before, just for an hour or two but it gives you a chance to recharge.  But what about putting Adrian in daycare just 2 days a week for 2 or 3 hours a day right now just to give you a little break?  If you're starting work soon anyway then this would be a good way to ease him into daycare.  That's how I did it and S loves daycare!

     

    Yes, men are like babies, for sure. LO won't be going to daycare when I start working, DH is going to take the evening shift on those days. It's good for Adrian but will probably be hard on us. But not having to pay for child care is priceless so we'll manage.

    I do however plan on leaving him with my father when I go visit so my mom and I can go shopping! 

    Me: 44 DH: 42. DS born healthy at 40 weeks 8/24/09. TTC since then with no luck or ART. Surprise BFP 8/6/14... MMC @ 8 weeks 4 days... Miss you everyday sweet baby angel.
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  • debbadebbadoo711debbadebbadoo711
    I feel your pain!  We are going through this too!
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  • ateytelbateytelb

    I can totally relate. On the bright side, he will be taking care of the baby on a regular basis soon. My DH can't even change the baby's diaper.

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