mini vent=DH & $

Re: mini vent=DH & $

• HarrietNJMommy

  December 2010

  I don't feel guilty about spending money on myself. I mean, I spend wisely though - I won't spend money if we won't be able to pay our bills. I'm a spender by nature though.

  DH spends money too. We're both fiscally conservative, but like to enjoy "stuff"......and we have expensive hobbies.......

  I can understand why you're venting though. I'm sorry..... 

  Mommy to Barbara 11/8/05, Elisabeth 5/13/07, Loukas 12/23/08 and Lazarus 09/25/12
  

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• ToBeMrsT member

  December 2010

  I don't feel guilty spending money which is good because I spend quite a bit on myself. We both spend what we want.
  

  
  Sounds you guys need to talk and just get on the same page.  Maybe he feels like it's no big deal to spend the money and doesn't realize it's upsetting you. 
  

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• littlemermaid member

  December 2010

  I never feel guilty because if I didn't do everything regarding the kids and house then I would have to pay someone to do it.  So when I buy something or go out to lunch I consider it my pay for doing everything that I do to keep this family functioning the way it does.  That said neither one of us would never spend money we didn't have to spend though.  So I don't know your financial situation but if he can afford to spend $168 on lunch, beer and cigs then you deserve some "fun" money too.  You should sit down and create a budget and designate some "fun" money to each of you that neither one of you have to question or feel guilty about spending.

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• twh2006

  December 2010

  I never feel guilty either. I used to, but then I realized staying at home is way harder than working for me ( I have four living children, 5 in total). It's total chaos most days!  So it's my reward/paycheck. It's what I would get if I were working. So no I don't feel bad.

  Kevin & Traci May 11, 2006

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• spring_time member

  December 2010

  We both have a designated amount of "fun money."  We each get the same amount of money because we are both contributing to the household.  There are no questions asked on how the money is spent.

  It was originally designed for the reasons you described, DH was buying cigs and lunch every day which was costing us a fortune.  It was causing a lot of arguments. Once the "fun money" was established, he wanted to save it up for fun things and quit smoking and started making his own lunch.  The "fun money" saved money, our marital stability, and his health.

  
  

  

  
  

  
  

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• jennylynne_01

  December 2010

  I've learned to stop feeling guilty about spending money on myself. I used to think if I didn't spend EVERY penny of spending money I had on DD that I was being a selfish mother. I was so wrong about that, DD has so much and I continue to spend quite a bit on her, don't get me wrong. But the girl wants for nothing. I get my hair done, pedicures, nails done, massages, facials, clothes, etc. I stopped doing all of that after i had dd until recently. I just realized that if I don't do the things for me that make me happy then what's the point? We always make sure the bills are paid and there's a decent amount being put into savings first then whatever is left over we share. It's unfair if he can spend whatever and you have to always go without.

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