sleep
How easily does your LO go down to sleep for the night? What is your routine? I need to seriously change things up. As much as I am ready to let her CIO, I can't if she just had a bottle because she'll cry til she throws up. Did that tonite again.
I have been giving her a bottle about 8:00, then lay down on her futon with her in her room til she falls asleep. I just always liked ending the day like this...looking at her angelic face sleeping in my arms of so calmly & contently. She is on the go all day, so busy she rarely has time to cuddle.
But now lately, she throws such a fit when I try to make her lay down. She wants "up, up up!" "outside" "daddy". I know she's tired because she hasn't been taking a 2nd nap during the day. She just fights it. I give her the option of sleep with mommy or cribby & she always wants to sleep with me, but it's such a job now. What works for you?
Re: sleep
I still nurse M to sleep
I'm trying to wean him and have no idea how I'll deal with bedtime without BFing.
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You aren't going to like my suggestion. Especially since you enjoy the snuggle time so much. If I were you... I would ditch the bottle at the same time you change the way she goes to bed. She needs to learn how to put herself to sleep. She could probably benefit from CIO. It worked amazingly for us. We now give Sydney a bath, then bottle, then a few minutes with Mommy and Daddy on the couch talking softly and giving kisses. Then it's upstairs - right in the crib - and she usually goes right to sleep. Nothing like the chore of PUTTING her to sleep - rocking her, walking her, the crying and waking right up when we would try to lay her down. The repeated wake ups all night. It is so different now that she can get herself back to sleep.
Also, does she get a bath at night? That helps Sydney wind down and get a lot of her energy out.
One more question - how long did she cry before she got sick?
we've been doing the same exact routine since she was two weeks old: bath (every other night), bottle, book, bed.
in detail: she gets a fresh diaper and a jammies put on; then a bottle (unless she just ate which has happened on occasion but usually not); then we read Goodnight Moon; then I sing to her (a song I made up- "Momma loves, Momma loves you, Daddy loves his baby girl" to the tune of a Christmas carol) as I walk her to the light switch that she now turns off; then I give her a million kisses in between singing, lay her down, tell her I love her, give her a binky; then daddy says (if he's home) "It's Night Night Time, baby" and dances her Seahorse in front of her and we walk out the room. We also have a noise machine that gets turned on after the book.
She more than not will go to sleep. She may talk to her Seahorse or another stuffed toy, she may squeal, she may yell but she will go to sleep after that. Of course there are times when she will start crying and we give it like 5 mins and lay her back down and then she really goes to sleep.
We're very lucky.
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This is our routine once I get home from work...
Dinner, play, bath, quiet time (rocking in the chair or just holding him); than bottle and off to sleep. This works 95% of the time. If he's over tired it'll take him a little longer to go down.
Since we Ferberized Caroline goes down easily and without fuss. I nurse her for the last time about an our before bedtime and before dinner (she goes to bed at 6:30). If I nurse her later she falls asleep and messes up the whole putting herself to sleep thing.
CIO stuff sucks and I still feel guilty but once it's done, things get so much easier.
ETA: Our routine is bath, book, bed.
I also think you need to drop that nighttime bottle. And I think you have to stop staying in her room as she falls asleep?even though you'll miss that time. She needs to learn how to fall asleep on her own. I don't know if you'll have to CIO, but something probably should change.
I was lucky in that Aaron self-weaned from his before bed bottle when he was 11 months and still taking formula. He just wanted to go to sleep. But most nights I'm lucky that he puts himself to bed and sleeps well.
As of last week, Aaron gets no bottles. I still offer him milk in cups but he won't take it. So I'm upping his yogurt intake. I figure one day he'll drink the milk?or he won't. I'm not going to stress. But that's a separate issue.
Naps for me has always been a mixed bag. Aaron still takes two but some days he's been taking just one. On those days he's a crank monster. But ever since I let him CIO for naps, he usually will sleep for at least an hour. But it's always in a crib. He needs to be able to scooch around and settle himself.
Edited to add: Our nighttime routine is a bath every other night at 8 pm (DH gets home at 7:30, we eat dinner and he gives the bath most times) and then brush his teeth, read a book (or books) and bedtime.
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We've had essentially the same routine since Ellie was about 6 weeks old - modified just slightly since we weaned her a few weeks ago. DH gives her a bath or washes her down If it's not a bath night (every other night), lotions her up, changes her diaper and gets her into her jammies - singing lullabies etc. Then one of us reads goodnight moon and maybe another book. Now instead of nursing, she and I sit on the couch, bundled in a blanket and have a last bit of warm milk, sing songs and cuddle. Some nights it may be for 30 min, some nights its for 5 - depends on how tired she is, etc. Then either I or DH brushes her teeth and takes her to her bed. She lays down and we cover her up and give her her lovie, and that's usually it. She may talk to herself or cry briefly, but usually she's asleep within 5 min.
I guess I don't have a problem with a bottle/nursing during bedtime - she's never really fallen asleep while nursing/drinking. Cuddling yes, but...
I too am a fan of CIO - it's worked wonders for us and for about 8 bad nights, we've had months of good sleep!
She gets a bath every other day. Not sure if it heplps her wind down. Soemtimes she's so excited splashing around. LOL Last night she cried like 5 minutes before she got sick. Because she gets herself so worked up. I should have known & just let her go play for awhile. I am ready for CIO. I should have done it sooner so I wouldn't have to hear her screaming "mommy, mommy, mommy" & daddy". Heartbreaking. I feel like she's going to think we don't love her. sniff
Sydney is a crazy woman in the bath. She splashes around and really gets a lot of energy out. I think it's an important part of it. After her bath is a whole new mood though. That's when we start the chill part of the routine.
If you do Ferber (and you know I'm a fan) you can TELL her you love her every time you go in her room to soothe her. You can rub her back, wipe away her tears, touch her hair. Anything you want for the set amount of time you are in there. The key is not to pick her up and for her to (eventually) fall asleep with you NOT in the room.
If she gets sick, which it sounds like she will (sorry), you are supposed to go in - clean her up, change the sheet, ect, without any fanfare. And continue with the sleep training.
It's so hard to make the decision to CIO. It is heartbreaking the first night for most people. It was easier for us than most, but I still cried watching her on the monitor. But I promise that if you get together a PLAN, feel empowered about it and do it - it will work and she will thank you for it by sleeping better. You can start the checks at 2 minutes apart if you want. Just as long as you make them longer and longer. Get the book... see what you think.