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Stay at Home Moms
any SAHMs without a college degree?
DH is finishing up his degree in IT, and i went through two certification programs for photography, but i do not have an actual college degree. sometimes, when DH and i fight, he will bring that up, and it really hurts my feelings. once DD is in school i will work part time, but i dont know if getting a degree is worth it. i never want to work full time, because i always want to be home when DD is home after school. what are your plans if you are without a degree? tia
*The Blog*
Natural M/C : Arabella's Twin Guardian Angel, 7.29.2009.**Natural M/C : 2.20.2010.
18 weeks. Always Loved. 4 weeks.
Natural M/C : Arabella's Twin Guardian Angel, 7.29.2009.**Natural M/C : 2.20.2010.
18 weeks. Always Loved. 4 weeks.This discussion has been closed.
Re: any SAHMs without a college degree?
That's an awful thing for him to say. That would really hurt my feelings.
I'm in undergrad right now, so no degree yet. There are all sorts of jobs that don't require college degrees - not necessarily the best paying - but I know people who work part time as bank tellers, secretaries, customer service, school subs and aides. If there is something you want to do and you can swing it, then there's no reason you couldn't go to school now. Community colleges and trade schools have lots of options that are relatively inexpensive. And not to be all debbie downer, but you should always have a back up plan if something were to ever happen to/with your DH because you'd need to support yourself and kids.
I have my own photography business, but it is very small, and certainly not enough to support myself and DD. i was thinking about waiting until she is a bit older to think about going back to school, but maybe i will look into if for this coming year. thanks!
i started back part time when DD was 1. i'm waiting until dd goes to preschool at 4 (it's 5xweek half days) to go full time. there are a few others on this board who are students, too. but you have to make the right decision for you and your family.
First, I wanted to say that bringing up education is a really low way to fight and I would certainly have a conversation with DH about bringing it up in a negative way. I know things get said in an argument that we don't necessarily mean but you still need to talk about how it hurts you. DH has an ivy league education and we joke occasionally about my "lesser" regular university degree but it is a joke that we both participate in and doesn't bother me at all.
My mom was a SAHM for 23 years and does not have a degree. I know that she always worried that if something ever happened to my dad she had no back up plan. They were married young and she had very little work experience and only one year of college credits. When the older three kids (myself included) were in college and my youngest sister started high school, my mom decided to get her real estate license. That was almost 5 years ago and she loves it! She started part-time and really took it slow in order to learn the business and also continue to spend quality time with my sister who still lived at home. About 2 years ago she went in full-time and is doing fantastic (even with the current market).
Are there things that you could do to earn money if you had to without a college degree? Yes, there definitely are. If you don't have a desire to go back to school and your career choice (part-time or once your kids are grown) isn't a career that necessitates a degree then I wouldn't worry about it.
So, to summarize, IMO you need to talk with DH about how he hurts your feelings and find out if there is any unspoken resentment behind his statements and you need to have some kind of fall back idea/plan for if you ever need to support yourself and DD.
m/c at 13 weeks - March 23, 2011
Ouch! :-(
I'll spare you all the details that I'm sure you don't care about, but DH and I both went for awhile, and neither of us have a degree. For me, I honestly don't need it with what I'd like to be doing, and degree or no degree - this is still where I'd be right now in my life anyways. DH would rather be in an entirely different field, but what he is in he doesn't mind and has plenty of training in through the military and doesn't need the degree for that either.
Once I eventually go back to work, I couldn't tell you what I'll be doing. My ultimate goal would be to start my own dance studio, but that is a long term goal. Short term goal would be to have DH work during the day so I could teach more at other people's dance studios in the evenings while he has the kids.
I don't think everyone needs a degree to do what they want to be doing and to be a contributing part of society. Some jobs just flat out don't necessitate one.
Cam 6.6.10 - Autism, Global Developmental Delay, Mixed Receptive/Expressive Communication Disorder
That's pretty mean of your DH to say.
Honestly, I think a college degree is valuable. Think about the big picture. You do say you always want to be home with DD, but eventually she will leave the nest, go off to college/trade school/working, and move out. At that point, you might want to work full time, especially if you're still fairly young. If you want to open a business or enter corporate America, then I think that a degree would be a good thing to have. You could always do school part time as your kids get older and are in school and then transition to a career when they're out of the house. If you find that you want a job that doesn't require a degree, then you don't have to get one. You don't have to make that decision until many years down the road, so I wouldn't worry about it now if your plan is to be a SAHM while your daughter is in school.
I think I don't like some of the replies to this....if you don't want a degree, don't get one. You don't NEED one. Are they a good thing to have? Of course. But many people have valuable careers without one. It's your choice.
Especially with photography, if that is still what you are wanting to do. Lots of artistic things don't necessitate a degree and work experience is just as valuable if not more so.
Cam 6.6.10 - Autism, Global Developmental Delay, Mixed Receptive/Expressive Communication Disorder
That's a low blow, but I agree with PP that if you have no desire to work full time anytime soon, DON'T DO IT!! I never went to college of any kind because I was not desiring the traditional "career woman" life at all. I also run a photography business, and given enough time and effort, hope to have enough income from that to help pay for my husband's classes. I'm also thinking about taking on a couple kids as a babysitter for some extra income, but my LO is only 6 weeks, so I want to wait until she's more settled into a routine.
My mother also never went to college, and worked as a secretary part time once we were all in school, and she loves it. She's coming up on 14 years at the same place.
Bottom line, you have to be where your heart is, and if that is at home, don't go to college! There's nothing wrong with not having a degree, contrary to what the world may tell you. The bigger regret when you're 90 won't be "I didn't get a degree", it would be "I didn't get to be the mom I wanted to be".
I got pg with DD#1 in my senior year of high school. I graduated but didn't go on to college for a couple of reasons. The main reason was that I had NO idea what I wanted to do with my life (and this was even before I got pg). I didn't want to go with a feeling of "I might like to do this" and wind up changing my mind 4 years later, degree and all (my SIL did this exact thing). The other reason was DD (her dad went to school while I stayed with DD)
I would like to take some classes eventually, but I still don't have anything that I *want* to do. If anything I'll probably go for something to help more with our business (I manage the bookwork and taxes)
DD#1~8/17/96------DS~10/24/05
Just for clarification, I don't think college is a requirement or that you should go to make your DH happy.
You said you didn't know if it would be worth it. If it's something that will make you happy and you can afford it, then I say go for it. Education is never a waste. It may be unwise to pull loans if you don't intend to work, but SLs are not a requirement. If college/trade school/taking a few classes is a goal for you, I was just offering up that it IS possible. Don't let anyone make you think you either a)aren't worth it because you currently sah, or b) make you think you are lesser because you don't have a college degree.
I don't have one and I don't know if I'll ever finish. I also don't ever plan to go back to working full time. I *might* work part time at some point, but I don't know for sure.
When my kids are in school full time I plan to take classes that I enjoy-- like a foreign language, photography, ASL, cooking, etc But I won't being doing it to pursue a degree.
ladies, seriously, thank you so much. it was so great to hear so many opinions! i really appreciate the time everyone took to read and respond!
for now, i will continue to broaden my photography cliental, and focus on DD. DH profusely apologized, and i know he didnt mean it, but we talked it over and i think he really understands what a hurtful thing that was to say.
thanks again!